Quote:
Originally Posted by Digging4Truth
You know... one important thing is that you spoke to him like somebody who has a brain.
People just talk AT their kids... not to them.
From what you have written here I would say that you have a good chance that the shirt will, indeed, not be worn after saturday.
What you end up with is a scenario where you not only survived the possible "crisis" but you came out on the other side having demonstrated that you feel that he has a brain of his own and you respect that. That will go a long ways in the future when other issues come up.
My oldest is 15. I will be traveling your road soon. But, as of now, we still have the most wonderful relationship because we work so hard to speak to our kids like they are actual people and not speak at them with barked commands.
If we do see something where a line needs to be drawn then even that will be handled with respect to them as a person. I will take them to the word of God and will explain to them why we feel this way. We have done this for years and so they are used to the process. They also know that I am not going to come to them with some off the wall scripture that half applies and try to force the word to say what I want it to say. If I can't explain it well then I either need to study more or rethink my position.
Kids will respect authority. Just not authority that lords itself over them and barks commands at them that both of them know they can't back up.
He that winneth souls is wise... he that winneth their kids are brilliant. 
It sounds like you did a great job. |
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate your sentiments in how see my methodology in dealing with my kids. I have always treated my kids as if they had a brain, but I agree, some don't.
My mom raised me with a bunch of do's and don't's without explanation. To this day, some things puzzle me about her rules....LOL!
I didn't want to be that kind of parent. My kids will someday (and soon!) be on their own and they cannot come back to mommy looking for a way out of a situation because all they ever did was just follow my rules without having any idea why.
There are times, perhaps more than not, that they don't agree with my explanation, but I tell them that sometimes understanding comes with age and experience, and they have seen that happen as time goes by.
It's not easy, all the same, but I'm happy with the results so far.
Thanks again.