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Originally Posted by HeavenlyOne
Thanks to everyone for their comments and advice. I went to LR's tonight and Zak had the t-shirt on. I told her about the comments made here before I left and she agreed with the comments here, something I didn't expect her to do as easily as she did.....LOL!
And I'm honored that I got a comment from Tim. I just love reading anything he has to say.
Matt, I have spoken to him, but he doesn't see it as bad, as he wasn't around during the time of KISS being evil and such. He thought the stories were pretty funny that I was relating to him, especially when I mentioned the preachers who had KISS as their topic in their sermon and how bad they were.
He told me (on his own he brought this up) that the shirt wouldn't even be worn after Saturday. He's a fun kid who doesn't take much seriously. They had a 'dress-up' day this past week and who does he want to go as?
Chris Farley! Wanted me to go to Goodwill to get him a small suit jacket to do his 'fat guy in a little coat' impersonation!!
He doesn't get into the peer pressure of school and stuff. And I keep a real good eye on him as well and keep his reins pretty tight.
I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing in dealing with a 16 yr old. I've never had one before.
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You know... one important thing is that you spoke to him like somebody who has a brain.
People just talk AT their kids... not to them.
From what you have written here I would say that you have a good chance that the shirt will, indeed, not be worn after saturday.
What you end up with is a scenario where you not only survived the possible "crisis" but you came out on the other side having demonstrated that you feel that he has a brain of his own and you respect that. That will go a long ways in the future when other issues come up.
My oldest is 15. I will be traveling your road soon. But, as of now, we still have the most wonderful relationship because we work so hard to speak to our kids like they are actual people and not speak at them with barked commands.
If we do see something where a line needs to be drawn then even that will be handled with respect to them as a person. I will take them to the word of God and will explain to them why we feel this way. We have done this for years and so they are used to the process. They also know that I am not going to come to them with some off the wall scripture that half applies and try to force the word to say what I want it to say. If I can't explain it well then I either need to study more or rethink my position.
Kids will respect authority. Just not authority that lords itself over them and barks commands at them that both of them know they can't back up.
He that winneth souls is wise... he that winneth their kids are brilliant.
It sounds like you did a great job.
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