Do You Know That I Know That You Love Me?

rgcraig · #1 10-19-2010, 09:53 AM

I attended the funeral of a JCM alumni friend yesterday and the pastor did an awesome job presenting the eulogy. He spoke slowly, deliberately and directly to the family like he was sitting in the living room with them. He spoke of her life, her ways, her influence, her legacy - very personable.

One thing struck a chord with me.

The minister said that he's now the age that his father was when he suddenly passed away. He respected his father, loved him deeply and when he was taken from his life so suddenly it caused him to wonder if his dad knew or realize how much he looked up to him and loved him.

He realized that he could pass away suddenly just like his dad and he didn't want his children struggling with the thoughts that they didn't tell him they loved him or that he might not know how much he means to them.

So, here's what he did and I challenge each of you to think about this and how it could/might apply to your lives.

He went to his children and said he wanted to talk to them. He asked them, "do you know that I know that you love me?"

Do those around you that might not always say or show you that they love you know that YOU know that they love you?

scotty · #2 10-19-2010, 10:13 AM

Good stuff. One thing I always admired about my daughter that passed on was she never went anywhere without saying "I love you". Even if it was just to run to the store and come back. I have instilled this in my daughters now and am happy that they have picked it up willingly. Not only do we make it a point to say it whenever we depart from each other but also several times a day on text and at the end of every phone call.

StillStanding · #3 10-19-2010, 10:16 AM

Thanks Renda! I'm going to do this!

rgcraig · #4 10-19-2010, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scotty

Good stuff. One thing I always admired about my daughter that passed on was she never went anywhere without saying "I love you". Even if it was just to run to the store and come back. I have instilled this in my daughters now and am happy that they have picked it up willingly. Not only do we make it a point to say it whenever we depart from each other but also several times a day on text and at the end of every phone call.

I was talking to my son yesterday and asked him the question - we talked a bit more, then when we were hanging up we both said bye and as we started hanging up - he said, "I love you mom".....I hurried and put the phone back to ear and said, I love you too.

Too cool.

rgcraig · #5 10-19-2010, 10:21 AM

My daughter is a lot more private than my son or I are - - she has trouble expressing to me that she loves me. She even wrote a paper about it back in high school.

It's very important to me that she knows that I know she loves me even though it's hard for her to express it.

Pro31:28 · #6 10-19-2010, 10:50 AM

This reminds me of a game that my daughter and I have played for several years. I tell her, "I only love you just a little bit", and she replies, "No, Mom- you love me a lot!" to which I reply, "You are so very right!" Then we crack up... it is silly, but it is a constant reminder that I love her and that she knows it. Every once in a while she will instigate and it will work backwards. She is 13 and we just did it again last night...
It is more conversational than just "I Love You" and it takes a moment to have the conversation. It is a special connection that she and I have, but if anyone that doesn't know us hears it, we get strange looks

ThePastorsCoach · #7 10-19-2010, 11:31 AM

Thanks for this. I just texted my daughter - "I want you to know that I know you love me even though it is hard for you to show me sometimes. I also want you to know that I love you very much."
She texted me back - "I love you too."

That is so sweet!

Adam · #8 10-19-2010, 11:42 AM

I think the phrase "I love you" 1) loses its effect if it is overused, and 2) sets you up as very vulnerable if you tell it to someone. Whenever I say it to my Apostolic wife, I get no response. I tell it to 2 out of 3 of my kids I get it told back to me, a blank stare from the 3rd kid (I'm in my late 40's, they are 19-21). My Ma and I say it to each other at the end of every phone conversation and email, it's sort of a tradition with us. My Dad would say "I love ya, Pal" everyday before I went off to school. Well....then he died when I was at the age of 12. Anyway, I would rather show my love via work and commitment to the person, not just throw out some banal phrase hoping I get off the hook for being a jerk otherwise.

scotty · #9 10-19-2010, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adam

I think the phrase "I love you" 1) loses its effect if it is overused, and 2) sets you up as very vulnerable if you tell it to someone. Whenever I say it to my Apostolic wife, I get no response. I tell it to 2 out of 3 of my kids I get it told back to me, a blank stare from the 3rd kid (I'm in my late 40's, they are 19-21). My Ma and I say it to each other at the end of every phone conversation and email, it's sort of a tradition with us. My Dad would say "I love ya, Pal" everyday before I went off to school. Well....then he died when I was at the age of 12. Anyway, I would rather show my love via work and commitment to the person, not just throw out some banal phrase hoping I get off the hook for being a jerk otherwise.

WOW.. so ,,,,, how exactly do you feel about that ?

rgcraig · #10 10-19-2010, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adam

I think the phrase "I love you" 1) loses its effect if it is overused, and 2) sets you up as very vulnerable if you tell it to someone. Whenever I say it to my Apostolic wife, I get no response. I tell it to 2 out of 3 of my kids I get it told back to me, a blank stare from the 3rd kid (I'm in my late 40's, they are 19-21). My Ma and I say it to each other at the end of every phone conversation and email, it's sort of a tradition with us. My Dad would say "I love ya, Pal" everyday before I went off to school. Well....then he died when I was at the age of 12. Anyway, I would rather show my love via work and commitment to the person, not just throw out some banal phrase hoping I get off the hook for being a jerk otherwise.

Where in my post did I say that you have to say, "I love you" - - - the point is in whatever way they "show" their love - - the other person needs to know that you KNOW they love you. That's the point.

My son saying it at the end of our conversation was just an added plus I received yesterday.

And, why the distinction about your wife being apostolic?