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  #131  
Old 08-29-2008, 11:49 AM
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Jack Shephard Jack Shephard is offline
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Re: Emotional affair

For anyone on here that remembers I started a thread about a family memeber that is in a Gay relationship. He was straight for years and has a kid even. Well I asked in that thread about help with their issue. They both realize that it is a sin and wanted to break it off. Well they have and things are looking better for them. Well their relationship started as being best friends most all their lives. Neither of them have ever been in a homosexual relationship before each other. It all started with the emotional attachement and eventually went into a physical one. The physical nature of the relationship was not a frequent event(s) their main issues was the connection emotionally. They are now broke up and living apart, last I heard. They rarely see one another or talk, but the toughest thing for them to break is the emotional attachment. They are both heart broken and love sick. This may seem gross to some here cause we are talking about two guys, but they have been bestfriends literally for a ton of years. So emotional attachments or affairs are by far the toughest to deal with and toughest to break!
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  #132  
Old 08-29-2008, 12:37 PM
Aquila Aquila is offline
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Re: Emotional affair

Man, there is so much good stuff in this thread! I just want to thank all participants for their contributions. Thanks, this is good stuff.
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  #133  
Old 08-29-2008, 02:38 PM
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Re: Emotional affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by mama bear View Post
Way back in this thread, I said it is adultery. How could it NOT be?
Their minds are as one!
Yes, I was jealous...had to repent...I knew I wasn't supposed to be, can't always control my emotions. Thank God - God knew how much I could take. It's been years, and I still have a hard time hearing her name!!
The question I posed was a theological one, is an emotional affair adultery as defined in the Bible?

It's kind of a Catch 22 because if you say "Yes" then it opens a Pandora's box of possiblities as to what can be construed as to what an emotional affair is or is not. Could Aquila's "Jack" have an emotional affair when he neglected his wife for his own personal emotional affirmation on internet church forums? Could a person have an emotional affair of sorts with their ministry or with their job or their business or their hobby? It's easy to say that it's not the same since the other thing is not a person, but aren't the dynamics the same and the result the same? If it walk like a duck...

But if you say "No" then it seems like you're being liberal when in fact your being conservative by sticking to a narrow defintion of adultery as defined in the Bible. As far as I know the Bible doesn't mention emotional affairs specifically, but it has alot to say about adultery as a physical affair. But in being conservative you run the risk of appearing to 'go soft' on emotional affairs which, as we know, 'going soft' on anything is anathema to most conservatives.

I think we can all agree that emotional affairs are real and they're bad and they're incredibly dangerous and damaging.

But I would hope too that we could also try to put ourselves in the shoes of those, like Jack and Diane, who meandered into the quagmire of emotional affairs seemingly by accident and who are still good people who screwed up. Part of the problem I think is that emotional affairs aren't talked about much, as I said I'd never heard of 'em until recently.

Part of the problem too is incomplete discipleship on the part of those involved who are operating from unbiblical expecations that led to what are sometimes unbiblical 'needs' that if goe unmet drive the person to find a source of affirmation they reallly don't need in the first place. In other cases people do have a genuine emotional need that is being unmet by their spouse and their sorrow makes them vulnerable to someone who is (even unwittingly) willing to meet that need. And then there are the true rats, the ones who are so self-absorbed and uncaring and who mess around as a matter of course and just don't seem to care.

But I hesistate to throw the majority of offenders into that narrow category and choose instead to try to be graceful and show mercy, without compromising on the sin, to those who fall prey to this trap.
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  #134  
Old 08-29-2008, 02:48 PM
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Re: Emotional affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by rgcraig View Post
No, I've been divorced four years now (after 24 yrs. of marriage).

He was waiting until our daughter turned 18 to leave the marriage, but I confronted him two years earlier than he was planning on.

He told me that he knew the first year of our marriage that he didn't love me like he should, but he made a commitment.
Ouch.
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  #135  
Old 08-29-2008, 02:49 PM
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Re: Emotional affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquila View Post
Is it possible for a husband and wife to be too open? For example, what if a wife actually tells her husband about a "work crush" or that she thinks "so and so" is a very funny and attractive man... because to her it's just an innocent "like"....but soon after it begins to worry her husband making him a jealous wreck? Is it possible to be too transparent with eachother?
Sure I think so. (I've been married 22 years. I know a little, I guess. I mean that seriously. )
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  #136  
Old 08-30-2008, 12:42 PM
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Re: Emotional affair

maybe you just need to find better literature?
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  #137  
Old 08-30-2008, 12:45 PM
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Re: Emotional affair

Also, whenever you keep something hidden, it gives room to satan to work that thought or emotion whereas if you just confess it, you take away that possibility from the devil.
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  #138  
Old 02-17-2010, 07:46 PM
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Re: Emotional affair

Bump for D. Richards
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  #139  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:03 PM
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dizzyde dizzyde is offline
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Re: Emotional affair

Not sure how I missed all this the first time around, but I am trying to figure out why A_PoMo used being a friend of mine as a reason to post this thread!!!! LOL!!!! Good Lord!
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  #140  
Old 02-17-2010, 10:51 PM
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Re: Emotional affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzyde View Post
Not sure how I missed all this the first time around, but I am trying to figure out why A_PoMo used being a friend of mine as a reason to post this thread!!!! LOL!!!! Good Lord!
Something about being narcissistic.
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