Quote:
Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson
It's moments like this that I wonder the wisdom of posting under my real name and asking questions like these but I guess I won't be in any worse of a place by doing this.
1) Has anyone thought they really had a word from God for a person you cared for a lot, a word from God and you were sure it was from God, only to find out that you completely missed the mark and have caused considerable pain and confusion for numerous people?
2) Why on God's green planet would He let something like that happen-- knowing the hearts of His people, knowing the sincerity, knowing the mistake, knowing the ensuing confusion and pain that His servant would cause to so many people?
3) What's the use of living for God, extending yourself, putting yourself out, going with your brother not just 1 mile, but 10 miles, doing what you do for His Glory-- only to find yourself in need with NO ONE willing to come through for you?
4) Statement, not a question-- I don't want to give anything to anyone any more. I don't want to help anyone any more. And as for having a word for anyone-- I don't possibly know how I can trust God or myself to think that I am hearing from God anymore!!!
I'm in tears.
I'm fighting thoughts of hating God-- I don't hate Him, He knows I don't, but man there is a war in my head, and maybe even in my heart now-- I don't even know.
I just wish I I could crawl into a sea shell and disappear!
I wish I could reverse time and I would just stopped myself from even speaking that day.
The time and MONEY I spent helping that so-called brother-- I would have been better off making sure my own bills were paid ahead by three months or so!
Why help anyone when at the end of the day, I won't be able to help myself?
Where is the net to catch me now that I'm going down???
Does anyone know what in the world I'm talking about!!!!!
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I surely know what you're talking about. The thing is, don't let this determine a future away from intimacy with God. You'll get naysayers adding to your misery, telling you that you can't trust God, you can only trust yourself, you've placed your confidence in something that you cant' have confidence in. Nothing could be further from the truth, you CAN trust God. Maybe you missed God in this particular circumstance, but get up, tell God how disappointed you are, it's even ok to get angry with Him, but realize it's not Him that did this to you. it was your enemy, the father of lies, the one who would rather you live in darkness than light. God cares that you're disappointed, He cares that you're struggling and well help you out of this pit you're in if you just come to Him openly and honestly, tell Him of your struggles and let Him bring you into the light again.
I've suffered deaths of loved ones, loss, disappointment, lack, sickness, ect., as has all people, including Christians, and I never enjoyed any of it. I struggled through all of it, questioned God, questioned the existence of God, the love of God, the presence of God during those times and found that God actually was present and caring during those dark nights of the soul that I thought Him absent. After living for God for many many years, I've found Him faithful in every area of my life, loving and caring in every circumstance.
My advice is to simply be honest with God. He's a big boy, He can handle it, and He will bring you through this if you let Him. Some come to these places in life and turn away and in their disappointment and anger attempt to convince others that God doesn't exist or if He exists you can't know Him and that He doesn't intervene in your life. Don't listen to them, they're speaking from a position of darkness in the evil one. They themselves need to be delivered.
And again, I know it's a very very hard place to be. I pray for you, brother. This will get better and please don't stop trying to hear God and speaking when you believe it's Him speaking to you.
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