Ogatt is my Favorite poster

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by StMark

Stop PMing me asking me who ogatt is I'm not telling anyone

Nobody cares he is just so funny, if we knew who it was it would spoil the fun.............

[grace_seeker]

Originally Posted by StMark

Stop PMing me asking me who ogatt is I'm not telling anyone

If he is from California I have one guess who he is....but you know what....it's best not to know at this time because he is WAY too much fun and just what this forum needs! I'm still laughing about the church board one!!!

[Rev]

Bump for Ogatt.

[ogatt]

just got in from preachin. Long trip home in the 72 ltd wagon.

Had a good day. First of all i noticed 2 fellers in the service who didnt put any money in the offrin plate.

When the pastor turned it to me. I pointed out those to fellers and said "you two heatherns that didnt put any money in the plate. When im on my deathbed i want one of you on each side of me so i can die like Jesus...between two thieves!!!! That got the service off to a good start.

Then i sung a praise and worship song call there's a great day coming by an by. Are you ready for the judgement day.

I began my message with a scripture about mans wisdom being foolishness to God. I told them what this means is that if your brain was rolling down the edge of a razorblade it would look like a bb on a 4 lane hiway.

They seemed to respond to that.

Then i went straight into that scripture about clothes that pertain to a man. I preached about skirts with zippers in the front. 1 stich and a pair of scissors and you got pants!!!! Then i preached about bell bottoms.

After church the pastor told me that no one wears bell bottoms. i told him"i guess my preachin is workin"

I then went to the preacher house for fried chicken dinner. I was finishing up and wipin my mouth when i saw a rooster outside crowin. I told the pastor. Thats one proud rooster!!!

He said yes he is his son just entered into the ministry

[ogatt]

Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter

Here's one for Ogatt.

A burglar had just broken into a house to rob it. The lights were off in the house, and as the burglar proceeded around the room with his flashlight, scoping out the place, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you. Jesus is watching you." This startled the burglar, who quickly flipped on the light, ready to shoot the person. To his surprise, he came face to face with a parrot in a cage. "Rrrooockkkk.... Jesus is watching you...Jesus is watching you!" said the parrot.

The burglar begin to chuckle. "Hmmm, well look what we have here. A stupid parrot. What is your name, stupid parrot?"

"Rrrocckkk... my name is Moses...Rrrocckkk" said the parrot.

"Moses?" said the burglar. "What kind of an idiot names their parrot Moses?"

"Rrrocckk... the same kind of an idiot who names their Rotweiller Jesus!" said the parrot.

Thats a good one there.

I did go and buy a parrot the other day. I wen to the pet shop and told the owner i want a religious parrot and one that dont curse.

He said i got one right here. The parrott was sittin on his perch and had a string tied to each leg.
The owner said if you pull the left string he will quote the lords prayer. If you pull the right string he will quote the 23 psalm. I asked "what happens if i pull both strings at once??

I will fall off the stinkin perch said the parrott

[Rev]

Originally Posted by ogatt

just got in from preachin. Long trip home in the 72 ltd wagon.

Had a good day. First of all i noticed 2 fellers in the service who didnt put any money in the offrin plate.

When the pastor turned it to me. I pointed out those to fellers and said "you two heatherns that didnt put any money in the plate. When im on my deathbed i want one of you on each side of me so i can die like Jesus...between two thieves!!!! That got the service off to a good start.

Then i sung a praise and worship song call there's a great day coming by an by. Are you ready for the judgement day.

I began my message with a scripture about mans wisdom being foolishness to God. I told them what this means is that if your brain was rolling down the edge of a razorblade it would look like a bb on a 4 lane hiway.

They seemed to respond to that.

Then i went straight into that scripture about clothes that pertain to a man. I preached about skirts with zippers in the front. 1 stich and a pair of scissors and you got pants!!!! Then i preached about bell bottoms.

After church the pastor told me that no one wears bell bottoms. i told him"i guess my preachin is workin"

I then went to the preacher house for fried chicken dinner. I was finishing up and wipin my mouth when i saw a rooster outside crowin. I told the pastor. Thats one proud rooster!!!

He said yes he is his son just entered into the ministry

"When the pastor turned it to me. I pointed out those to fellers and said "you two heatherns that didnt put any money in the plate. When im on my deathbed i want one of you on each side of me so i can die like Jesus...between two thieves!!!! That got the service off to a good start."

I think you've got the anointment back now! Preach!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Rev

"When the pastor turned it to me. I pointed out those to fellers and said "you two heatherns that didnt put any money in the plate. When im on my deathbed i want one of you on each side of me so i can die like Jesus...between two thieves!!!! That got the service off to a good start."

I think you've got the anointment back now! Preach!

[Fiyahstarter]

Knee-Slapping Funny Stuff!!!

[Monkeyman]

bump