Prominent Memphis Area Pastor Resigns - Page 11

The Lemon · #1 10-03-2012, 09:45 AM

Sometimes the "connection" is not made (or not consistant) because they are out of balance in their life.

I know of some 20+ year marriages that have failed - both ministers and others, one thing I noticed in the ministry was burnout - when a person gives constantly in ministry and has nothing left for the home...guess what suffers??

I can't tell you how many times I have heard of ministers wives who are depressed, and despise not only their respective role in ministry, but also their husband and even the church - the same can be true of the husband. When there is no "coming together" and no deep emotional connection between spouses...there is a great storm coming..PERIOD.

No wonder Paul said he would prefer folks to be like him. After all, when you marry, a husbands duty is to please his wife, and the wife her husband....you can't do this as an absentee husband / wife / or father. The way we "do church" is half the problem in my opinion.. and that goes from the top down. Here is a noval idea:

1. Stop running a Church like a profit center
2. Make a living using skills and education outside the ministry - thus preventing the survival temptation to live off of people's free will generosity
3. Don't train saints to expect you to be there at every bekon call
4. Set the stage for personal growth and accountability and quit coddling saints for 30 years on the pew
5. Stay out of the politics in organized religion...politics is bad regardless of where it is
6. Don't play to the crowd and to your peer group...be you and be honest
7. Stick to principle and drop tradition where you can
8. Don't try to protect your image...just be a Christian
9. Preach the truth in love
10. Prefer your wife and children over other people, organizations, expectations.

There...

LooneyLucy · #2 10-03-2012, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lemon

Sometimes the "connection" is not made (or not consistant) because they are out of balance in their life.

I know of some 20+ year marriages that have failed - both ministers and others, one thing I noticed in the ministry was burnout - when a person gives constantly in ministry and has nothing left for the home...guess what suffers??

I can't tell you how many times I have heard of ministers wives who are depressed, and despise not only their respective role in ministry, but also their husband and even the church - the same can be true of the husband. When there is no "coming together" and no deep emotional connection between spouses...there is a great storm coming..PERIOD.

No wonder Paul said he would prefer folks to be like him. After all, when you marry, a husbands duty is to please his wife, and the wife her husband....you can't do this as an absentee husband / wife / or father. The way we "do church" is half the problem in my opinion.. and that goes from the top down. Here is a noval idea:

1. Stop running a Church like a profit center
2. Make a living using skills and education outside the ministry - thus preventing the survival temptation to live off of people's free will generosity
3. Don't train saints to expect you to be there at every bekon call
4. Set the stage for personal growth and accountability and quit coddling saints for 30 years on the pew
5. Stay out of the politics in organized religion...politics is bad regardless of where it is
6. Don't play to the crowd and to your peer group...be you and be honest
7. Stick to principle and drop tradition where you can
8. Don't try to protect your image...just be a Christian
9. Preach the truth in love
10. Prefer your wife and children over other people, organizations, expectations.

There...

You sound like a very wise person, indeed.

Raven · #3 10-03-2012, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lemon

Sometimes the "connection" is not made (or not consistant) because they are out of balance in their life.

I know of some 20+ year marriages that have failed - both ministers and others, one thing I noticed in the ministry was burnout - when a person gives constantly in ministry and has nothing left for the home...guess what suffers??

I can't tell you how many times I have heard of ministers wives who are depressed, and despise not only their respective role in ministry, but also their husband and even the church - the same can be true of the husband. When there is no "coming together" and no deep emotional connection between spouses...there is a great storm coming..PERIOD.

No wonder Paul said he would prefer folks to be like him. After all, when you marry, a husbands duty is to please his wife, and the wife her husband....you can't do this as an absentee husband / wife / or father. The way we "do church" is half the problem in my opinion.. and that goes from the top down. Here is a noval idea:

1. Stop running a Church like a profit center
2. Make a living using skills and education outside the ministry - thus preventing the survival temptation to live off of people's free will generosity
3. Don't train saints to expect you to be there at every bekon call
4. Set the stage for personal growth and accountability and quit coddling saints for 30 years on the pew
5. Stay out of the politics in organized religion...politics is bad regardless of where it is
6. Don't play to the crowd and to your peer group...be you and be honest
7. Stick to principle and drop tradition where you can
8. Don't try to protect your image...just be a Christian
9. Preach the truth in love
10. Prefer your wife and children over other people, organizations, expectations.

There...

Excellent advice!!!

KeptByTheWord · #4 10-03-2012, 10:08 AM

I would like to say this about this situation.... Bro. Black should be very thankful that he gets a chance to repent, and find grace in his situation now. Many preachers have lived double lives, and died, never repenting of their wicked ways, awaiting the judgment day with the stain of sin on their record.

I would say that this is a blessing for Bro. Black, as in the case of King David... to be able to have a chance to repent and hopefully find his way back to a merciful and loving God in this life.... I am praying that is the case for he, and his family. I would rather deal with unrepented sin here on this earth with a chance to apply the blood, and start over, then to wait until eternity to meet with God.

LooneyLucy · #5 10-03-2012, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

I would like to say this about this situation.... Bro. Black should be very thankful that he gets a chance to repent, and find grace in his situation now. Many preachers have lived double lives, and died, never repenting of their wicked ways, awaiting the judgment day with the stain of sin on their record.

I would say that this is a blessing for Bro. Black, as in the case of King David... to be able to have a chance to repent and hopefully find his way back to a merciful and loving God in this life.... I am praying that is the case for he, and his family. I would rather deal with unrepented sin here on this earth with a chance to apply the blood, and start over, then to wait until eternity to meet with God.

Amen! Some end up like Achan, with no space to repent and some like the prodigal.

KeptByTheWord · #6 10-03-2012, 10:11 AM

And I guess I should clarify "many preachers" and say "many Christians".... as it does apply to all souls... but it just seems that when a minister falls, it has much more fallout and damage than when just one single person falls.

LooneyLucy · #7 10-03-2012, 10:24 AM

I have had 2 pastors who regularly tell the congregation they are not perfect. I love those 2 men. In fact one of them frequently says, "I have told God, I hope he doesn't come when I am driving, cause I might not go".

The pastor I had growing up caused us to feel that he was so far above us and you were privileged to spend time in his presence IF he ever allowed it. Those days are gone, baby. I feel sorry for anyone sitting under a pastor like that in this day and age.

LooneyLucy · #8 10-03-2012, 11:23 AM

And if you will notice, I apologized for using "DUMB" just merely said that has been my experience.

HolyFire · #9 10-03-2012, 11:51 AM

I lived in the Memphis area for a decade, this hurts. Grey Rd. is no more (used to run 350+), the W. Memphis church has left the UPCI (I believe, I know they are ultra-libs compared to my decade there when they were mods) and now this. Terry Black was one of those men you could follow after as he followed Christ. He was a humble man, one who wasn't covetous or heavy handed or unmerciful.

This is hard for me, the area I prayed for so often in a spiritual storm. TPC will survive and God will have a church.

deacon blues · #10 10-03-2012, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HolyFire

I lived in the Memphis area for a decade, this hurts. Grey Rd. is no more (used to run 350+), the W. Memphis church has left the UPCI (I believe, I know they are ultra-libs compared to my decade there when they were mods) and now this. Terry Black was one of those men you could follow after as he followed Christ. He was a humble man, one who wasn't covetous or heavy handed or unmerciful.

This is hard for me, the area I prayed for so often in a spiritual storm. TPC will survive and God will have a church.

Memphis is full of many good, godly, faithful Christians. This situation is sad as well as the Grey Road situation, but Jesus has plenty of witnesses and churches that preach Christ and Him crucified and the truth will keep marching on. Pray for the fallen, consider yourself lest you fall, do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God!