What kind of pastor is this?

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by jfrog

Seems there is more to this story.

Maybe pastor is getting maligned? I do know these type things happen though.

[phareztamar]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

If what is posted is true then that is some wrong advise.

Wasn't giving advice...not informed enough on both sides of it for that. As stated, just my opinion. Believe the OP asked "What think ye?"

[ILG]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

I hope you're prophetic!

Me too!

[KeptByTheWord]

This man has controlled with fear, lies and intimidation as long as he has been pastoring. This is the only pastor she has ever had. She has not known anything else. Unless you've been in a situation where a pastor exerted control like this man has, you wouldn't understand, and I can see why some would say... just follow that man, because you don't know the whole story.

Most of my family has left, but there are just a few left, which means that there is a part of me still there. Because situations like this pop up and you have to deal with it.

I praise the Lord for the fact that I have been able to forgive for the things that have taken place. I could strew a lot of ugly garbage here about many, many, many situations that have taken place over the years, but I won't, because, the Lord taught me years ago when I wanted to take things into my own hands that "vengeance is mine". For whatever reason, the Lord allows this to continue, and doesn't stop it. I don't know why. It's gone on for a LONG time, but, I have found peace in my heart, and I don't question the Lord for His reasoning on not putting a stop to it.

And I pray for the pastor in question and ask the Lord to bring his heart to a place of repentance and understanding. I don't wish hell on anyone (although if my flesh had its way, it surely would wish hellfire and brimstone on this man for the pain he has caused), but then the Spirit of Christ within me rises up, and pities the man who feels he has to live this way, and cause so much harm.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

This man has controlled with fear, lies and intimidation as long as he has been pastoring. This is the only pastor she has ever had. She has not known anything else. Unless you've been in a situation where a pastor exerted control like this man has, you wouldn't understand, and I can see why some would say... just follow that man, because you don't know the whole story.

Most of my family has left, but there are just a few left, which means that there is a part of me still there. Because situations like this pop up and you have to deal with it.

I praise the Lord for the fact that I have been able to forgive for the things that have taken place. I could strew a lot of ugly garbage here about many, many, many situations that have taken place over the years, but I won't, because, the Lord taught me years ago when I wanted to take things into my own hands that "vengeance is mine". For whatever reason, the Lord allows this to continue, and doesn't stop it. I don't know why. It's gone on for a LONG time, but, I have found peace in my heart, and I don't question the Lord for His reasoning on not putting a stop to it.

And I pray for the pastor in question and ask the Lord to bring his heart to a place of repentance and understanding. I don't wish hell on anyone (although if my flesh had its way, it surely would wish hellfire and brimstone on this man for the pain he has caused), but then the Spirit of Christ within me rises up, and pities the man who feels he has to live this way, and cause so much harm.

So is your daughter mortified because of the embarrassment of the situation or is she actually NOT going to marry this man now because her "permission to do so" has been revoked?

If it is the latter, there just isn't much one can do for then. At least not until another situation comes along which is even worse that will knock some sense (hopefully) into more members of that congregation.

By the way, how big is this particular church group?

[Margies3]

how sad. does she need his permission to burp as well?

It is so hard when the pastor rules by force and intimidation like this. It takes a very strong person to walk away. But before they can walk away they have to understand the control that this man has taken over her and understand how wrong it is. I'm praying that God will open her eyes to this fact and then free her from the bondage she has been living in.

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

Just became aware of a situation today in my immediate family concerning a former pastor of mine. Although he was my pastor for 21 years, and I've long since gone, he continues to pastor some of my family members.

The family member of mine with which this drama has unfolded has had a courtship relationship with a man in another church for three years. They live about 1500 miles or so apart, and have seen each other a few times a year for the last three years, and it was known to each of their pastors that their intention was marriage at some point.

Just this week, my family member went to church for a regular service, and without warning became the topic for the service, and found out over the pulpit, that she was NOT to marry this man. After three years of being courted by this man, with apparent blessing on the part of both pastors, the relationship had continued.

Now, out of the blue, in just an ordinary service, she was told in front of the entire congregation the decision of the pastor to not allow the marriage.

Now, here's the kicker. Do you want to know WHY she is not allowed to marry this man?

He's black. She's white.

That's the reason. It took this pastor three years, waiting until the wedding plans were in the making, before simply announcing his decision to the church, over the pulpit, without any knowledge of hers beforehand.

Further... and that's not all folks. Hold onto your seat belts for this one.

IF she decides to go ahead and marry the man (as the man's pastor has given his full blessing on the wedding, and has said he will marry them, even if her pastor won't) she will be ex-communicated from the church, and ANYONE who attends the wedding will also be ex-communicated from the church.

Now, this is a family that has literally fallen all over themselves for the last 40 years or so to follow this pastor, now to face being ex-communicated from the church that they have been faithful members of, simply because their daughter has fallen in love with a godly, wonderful young black man, and wants to marry him.

This is an Apostolic, Pentecostal, AMF-fellowship associated pastor who has done this. And let me add this... this is NOT the first time he has done such a thing.

What say ye?

Sounds like a Democrat...They are all about CONTROL.

Me personally? I'd leave that church and find another. But you'll probably find most of the members are afraid to leave. They believe they will lose their souls.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

So is your daughter mortified because of the embarrassment of the situation or is she actually NOT going to marry this man now because her "permission to do so" has been revoked?

If it is the latter, there just isn't much one can do for then. At least not until another situation comes along which is even worse that will knock some sense (hopefully) into more members of that congregation.

By the way, how big is this particular church group?

Not her daughter, RW....other family member.

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

She doesn't want to go to hell, she is scared to death. RW, I think from your former background you understand the mentality people in this kind of a situation have. She fears disobeying the pastor is rebellion, and as the sin of witchcraft.



I'm assuming she had his permission to "court", but apparently when wedding plans began to commence, he took it upon himself to publicly disgrace her in front of the congregation, without sharing any of that with her beforehand.

See? That is my point. I believe pastoral relationships like that are not only unbiblical but unhealthy.

I know people and a church that is like that. It took YEARS for some of his members to finally wake up and leave but others chose to just not go to church anymore at all rather than go to another church for fear of going to hell..ironic eh?

Seriously I have friends that are former members. He has told some before that they were better off backsliding than going to the Apostolic church just in the other city and that they might as well pitch their tents in Sodom.

Too this day former members are STILL affected by this strict control and manipulation. It's a long long process of healing to get over that.

[Hoovie]

Very sad. The entire discussion should be about the danger in "submitting" to this type of freakish control. Very dangerous, unhealthy, and unbiblical.