Con-to-Lib "Hybrid" Churches: Let's be Honest

[Jesuswins]

I just found this thread a few moments ago and have tried to read every page before jumping in. This is exactly what I need to talk about!!!
When I met and married my husband 12 years ago, he was a new convert and did not understand all that we did (ie.. women no pants and long hair, and men no facial hair and no shorts etc). But at this time it was no longer being preached from the pulpit like I had been used to growing up. I remember having a heated discusion with my husband over this matter about 10 yrs ago, and I told him then that I felt like it wouldn't be long before we would see changes in the the members concerning outward appearance.
Well it has slowly come to pass and I myself have made some changes that i thought would never happen. I wear a moderate amount of make-up, I paint my toe nails, I still have long hair but it's a lot shorter than it has ever been and I decided to dye it about 5 weeks ago to get ride of the gray that was starting. Just this summer I have opening started wearing Capri pants and I allowed my 7yr old to have her ears peirced.
I still hold a position in the church, (on stage) but there are times that I have this overwhelming since that I am doing something wrong. The first time I wore Capri pants out of the house we were going to a theme park and I told my husband that it must have been a pentecostal convention going on because everytime I turned around I saw some one I knew or someone that I knew was pentecostal because of the hair and clothes.I wanted to hide!!!
But My husband told me a few month later that to him.... it was as if I had been brain washed all my life and now he understood why people thought our church was a cult. I grew up believing that I would go to hell for doing the things I do now. I was scared as a 12 yr old because my mom cut my hair and put in layers because of the headaches I had due to my thick long hair, but I felt condemned.

It is hard, I am having to retrain myself and search the scriptures for myself (which is what i should have been doing all along). It's like I read on page 1 or 2 of this thread "you remove outward standards or guidelines and you find out real fast how strong someone's relationship with God is." I found that mine was not very strong at all!! I have had a real eye opener in the last 6 months and it has been a real battle for me. But I have to keep on keeping on and trust that the lord will lead me through! I'm still finding my way.