Going back to the UPC

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

Any thread of mine can be a Standard thread too. LOL

My distance from the UPC church has been tough on my family so far. I am willing to go back. It will not pain me exactly, but it will be different. Something happened to cause me to leave. Most of which I still believe, but part of it I had a confirmation to let go of and now that I did it makes it easier to go back.

You are right there are other churches to raise my family in, but non of them my wife would have gone to. Nothing bad on her, just not what she prefers.

I'll be in prayer for you, JT. I understand your situation, I was in it a few years ago.

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by Sept5SavedTeen

A thought just popped into my head, and I figured maybe we could entertain it a bit. Should the husband/dad change the assembly he goes to to fit his wife and children or should it be the other way around. Does this in some way undermine the headship GOD has given the man as head of his household? I am not trying to criticize my brother, but the thought did come to mind, and I figure this could be worth a bit of study and consideration.

GOD BLESS!
Bro. Alex

I honestly feel that it is somewhat undermining my authority. Part of the reason she would not leave was because he father would be mad/upset. I am a bigger man than to draw a line in the sand for my wife. I believe marriage is a 100% 100% joining, not 50% 50%. Seeing it that way makes this an easier choice. Knowing that she would not follow at all to the other one that is her 100% on the matter. So my 100% was to find a common area. I do good at not disagreeing with the preaching, at least verbally. My wife and I see eye to eye on alot of things even though she would not have left the UPC church.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

As long as you are willing to allow your wife to hold the standards that you don't agree with on your daughter, then all will be okay.

The dysfunction will occur if you start to disagree with the way your wife wants your daughter to be raised.

Hang on a minute. Why should he have to defer to his wife's standards when it comes to his daughter? I am in agreement with Alex. If anything, his wife should be following him, not the other way around.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

Cause I wear shorts and go to the movies, etc.

Oh! I'm not used to men wearing shorts as I was raised by a Cowboy. I've never gotten used to that. lol I couldn't imagine my husband wearing shorts around. I think I wouldn't like it.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

I honestly feel that it is somewhat undermining my authority. Part of the reason she would not leave was because he father would be mad/upset. I am a bigger man than to draw a line in the sand for my wife. I believe marriage is a 100% 100% joining, not 50% 50%. Seeing it that way makes this an easier choice. Knowing that she would not follow at all to the other one that is her 100% on the matter. So my 100% was to find a common area. I do good at not disagreeing with the preaching, at least verbally. My wife and I see eye to eye on alot of things even though she would not have left the UPC church.

Not to be too nosy, but why couldn't your wife come to your church and still keep her standards? Surely your church doesn't get up and preach against people keeping dress standards, does it?

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rico

Hang on a minute. Why should he have to defer to his wife's standards when it comes to his daughter? I am in agreement with Alex. If anything, his wife should be following him, not the other way around.

I believe he's made a choice to go back to the UPC, therefore he knows what will be expected.

Just making the fact that as long as he's okay with that, then all will be okay, but if he doesn't necessarily agree with the standards then there will be some issues.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rico

Not to be too nosy, but why couldn't your wife come to your church and still keep her standards? Surely your church doesn't get up and preach against people keeping dress standards, does it?

I understand what he's saying - his wife didn't want to disappoint her father. We've all been there.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I understand what he's saying - his wife didn't want to disappoint her father. We've all been there.

Peer pressure is a formidable foe, especially when it comes to standards. Been there, done that.

[TrmptPraise]

JT,

I appreciate your spirit and attitude in this sensitive situation. It wouldn't matter what org you would be coming in or out of, the facts would remain the same. I feel you are much more of a man than some would give you credit for. Some feel you are undermining you manhood or place in your marriage. I personally feel you are showing its strength in your love and appreciating the relationships to which you hold dear. We need more men who would see these things. I am sure to be ridiculed for saying so, but it wouldn't be the first time. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[GodsBabyGirl]

Originally Posted by Rico

Not to be too nosy, but why couldn't your wife come to your church and still keep her standards? Surely your church doesn't get up and preach against people keeping dress standards, does it?

Rico, you'd be surprised at the animosity of Apostolics in Non denominational churches. If JT's wife just attended the church and kept her standards and wasnt active in the church, trust me, I KNOW, sooner or later those spirits would come after her.

Some may openly ask her why she doesnt wear this or that or do this or that.

Then the persecution would begin...she thinks she is holier than us? I mean our 1st lady wears pants and make up, who does she think she is????

If JT's wife is gonna stick to what she believes God is telling her in regards to 'standards' she and her daughter will do much better off staying at a church that teaches such from the pulpit...