Emotional affair

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by jaxfam6

I would say I agree with you. My point is that not all emtional attachments should be classified as affairs. There are emotional attachments that will never go beyond the friendship that is there. There are other cases, as we have seen reported, that go past friendship and become sin.

I agree with this also.

[Falla39]

Bro. A POMO,

Forgive me for hijacking your thread!

Blessings,

Falla39

[Rhoni]

The place an affair begins is in the seat of emotions. The person reaches out to you in an area not being met by your spouse.

The Bible tells us that it begins with a thought, then another thought, then a feeling, and before it is finished it becomes sin.

[IsolatedSaint]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

The place an affair begins is in the seat of emotions. The person reaches out to you in an area not being met by your spouse.

Ah....that's one reason why we need to marry that person whom God has ordained for us to be married to because that is indeed the one that can fulfill all of our needs(including the emotional ones). I have a relative who's currently involved in one of these emotional affairs for 2 years now although it's long distance. No sex.....although the flames of passion seem to still be there despite the fact that the parties involved are in there 70's........ The weird part about it is that the husband doesn't seem to care. I see nothing but danger and at the very best future heartache and untold sorrows and misery coming out of this. This is alot more serious than people can imagine......people jump off bridges off of this kind of stuff.

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by IsolatedSaint

Ah....that's one reason why we need to marry that person whom God has ordained for us to be married to because that is indeed the one that can fulfill all of our needs(including the emotional ones).

Most of the books I've read on marriage and relationships would disagree with you on the point that our mate can meet all of our emotional needs and that we shouldn't expect them to meet them all and we should be more realistic in this area.

Which causes me to think, ok, if these are NEEDS and not mere preferences (thus they MUST be met in order for us to maintain emotional health and stability and we WILL find a way to meet them no matter what) then what does a person do if their mate doesn't meet their emotional needs? How does a person deal with this situation.

I read one book that said that emotional affairs, while not appropriate, can have a stabilizing effect on a marriage because the one person is getting their emotional needs met and thus is less likely, in some cases, to leave the marriage. This is a Christian book btw.

I'm not saying I agree with all this, just posing the questions.

[IsolatedSaint]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

Most of the books I've read on marriage and relationships would disagree with you on the point that our mate can meet all of our emotional needs and that we shouldn't expect them to meet them all and we should be more realistic in this area.

Which causes me to think, ok, if these are NEEDS and not mere preferences (thus they MUST be met in order for us to maintain emotional health and stability and we WILL find a way to meet them no matter what) then what does a person do if their mate doesn't meet their emotional needs? How does a person deal with this situation.

I read one book that said that emotional affairs, while not appropriate, can have a stabilizing effect on a marriage because the one person is getting their emotional needs met and thus is less likely, in some cases, to leave the marriage. This is a Christian book btw.

I'm not saying I agree with all this, just posing the questions.

Maybe I need to make myself more understood as to what I mean.......it's called chemistry!!!...when you and your mate got it you won't be needing to look elsewhere for any kind of fullfillment(emotional or otherwise). It's so simple....come to think of it will someone please tell me just what do you all mean by emotional needs anyway. What is an emotional need.....it obvious to me that those with these so-called emotional needs need to return to there first love and are in need to be filled with the Holy Ghost again....call it needing revival or whatever......people with these emotional needs(saved or unsaved but we are primarily talking about saved folks here)have a void in there life that can only be satisfied by Jesus!!! This emotional need stuff comes under the heading of foolishness and needs to be addressed as such. This is the type of void the sinners have, not Apostolic/Oneness people.

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by IsolatedSaint

This emotional need stuff comes under the heading of foolishness and needs to be addressed as such. This is the type of void the sinners have, not Apostolic/Oneness people.

Apostolic/Oneness people are not sinners?

One author states, using Ephesians 5 as a basis, that the primary emotional need of a woman is love and the primary emotional need of a man is respect. If a mate does not receive this from their partner the relationship will eventually suffer dramatically.

I understand that Christ is to be the at the center of our relationships. But we can't overspiritualize the dynamics of our relationships.

[jaxfam6]

Originally Posted by IsolatedSaint

Maybe I need to make myself more understood as to what I mean.......it's called chemistry!!!...when you and your mate got it you won't be needing to look elsewhere for any kind of fullfillment(emotional or otherwise). It's so simple....come to think of it will someone please tell me just what do you all mean by emotional needs anyway. What is an emotional need.....it obvious to me that those with these so-called emotional needs need to return to there first love and are in need to be filled with the Holy Ghost again....call it needing revival or whatever......people with these emotional needs(saved or unsaved but we are primarily talking about saved folks here)have a void in there life that can only be satisfied by Jesus!!! This emotional need stuff comes under the heading of foolishness and needs to be addressed as such. This is the type of void the sinners have, not Apostolic/Oneness people.

just to clarify

you are saying that because you have the Holy Ghost you NEVER need to have your spouse or ANYONE ever tell you they love you, need you, think you are great, want to spend time with you, join you for dinner, talk to you about ANYTHING, etc etc....?
God fills all those things in your life?

So then what would be the purpose of going to church? You would be an island unto yourself. You would need no one or nothing. I do not believe that is correct or even Biblical.

just wanting clarification on your comment.

[ILG]

[QUOTE=IsolatedSaint;568231]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

Maybe I need to make myself more understood as to what I mean.......it's called chemistry!!!...when you and your mate got it you won't be needing to look elsewhere for any kind of fullfillment(emotional or otherwise). It's so simple....come to think of it will someone please tell me just what do you all mean by emotional needs anyway. What is an emotional need.....it obvious to me that those with these so-called emotional needs need to return to there first love and are in need to be filled with the Holy Ghost again....call it needing revival or whatever......people with these emotional needs(saved or unsaved but we are primarily talking about saved folks here)have a void in there life that can only be satisfied by Jesus!!! This emotional need stuff comes under the heading of foolishness and needs to be addressed as such. This is the type of void the sinners have, not Apostolic/Oneness people.

Are you saying that God fulfills all emotional needs? That is way off base. What are families for? What are spouses for? What are friends for?

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

The place an affair begins is in the seat of emotions. The person reaches out to you in an area not being met by your spouse.

The Bible tells us that it begins with a thought, then another thought, then a feeling, and before it is finished it becomes sin.

In this process it appears that action (sin) flows out of emotion. When repairing a damaged relationship is the reverse true? Do you believe that feelings follow action? Thus if a person does something long enough that the emotion associated with that action will come later.

In the context of relationships we generally do things because of emotion, like give our girl flowers because we feel warm and fuzzy feelings about her. We express our emotions through actions that way.

In the context of the aftermath of an emotional affair or the rebuilding of a damaged relationship most books say that you should do the 'loving' things even though you don't feel it and that eventually you will feel it. Thus, even though you don't feel positive emotions toward your mate that you should do loving and romantic things for them and eventually you will feel the warm and fuzzies again. I wonder about that.

What do you think?