Going back to the UPC - Page 9

dizzyde · #81 03-24-2008, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

I understand you completely. We have been this way for well over 1 year. She has gone to my former church once for an Avalon concert a few weeks ago and liked it ok but said she could not go there. I agree that she should follow me, but I have no problem being the leader by going back. She and my daughter in the long run will have more respect for me as a leader than they might have before. She knows it is a sacrifice I am willing to take. I do not think that any bad can come from this.

Once again I want to say that I think you are being a great husband and father in this situation.

Rico · #82 03-24-2008, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

I understand you completely. We have been this way for well over 1 year. She has gone to my former church once for an Avalon concert a few weeks ago and liked it ok but said she could not go there. I agree that she should follow me, but I have no problem being the leader by going back. She and my daughter in the long run will have more respect for me as a leader than they might have before. She knows it is a sacrifice I am willing to take. I do not think that any bad can come from this.

Have you considered splitting the difference and attending both churches for awhile? You know, you go to her church one Sunday and she comes to yours another Sunday. I don't recommend that on a permanent basis, but maybe it would give the Lord a chance to deal with her the way He's dealt with you about making the switch. BTW, I really feel for you. I can see that you have been in a tough spot.

TrmptPraise · #83 03-24-2008, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

My wife has no problems with my standards. She is fine with it. She seemed shocked when I told her I would return with her. She asked if that is what I want and I told her I want a healthy and happy family. Somethings are more important than egos or whatever. I did feel weird at first. I felt God lead me to this other church and that going back to the UPC church was going against him, but the truth is that #1 come family #2 comes ministry so I took the high road and if God curses me cause I want to have a great family life them I guess He will, but I am confident that He is happy with me making this choice for my family.

If you trust lies in Him, and not the whimsical opinions of some of us, then truly you are indeed following Him.

TrmptPraise · #84 03-24-2008, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizzyde

Once again I want to say that I think you are being a great husband and father in this situation.

I said it first!.....lol

SDG · #85 03-24-2008, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam

In marriage, we leave father and mother and cleave to our new partner. We are one. Husband/wife relationship supersedes the parent/child relationship but honor/respect for parents must be maintained. This is not always an easy balance to maintain.

A self-less spouse will weigh these two things and seek a consensus for an equitable solution.

Jack Shephard · #86 03-24-2008, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam

How do the folks at the UPC church treat you and perceive you?

As Sis. so-and-so's backslidden/sinner/lost husband who is the target of sermons, testimonies, and spoken prayer requests while you are there to hear them?
as a sinner who should be ignored and not looked at or spoken to?
as someone to be avoided in case your sin/attitude "rubs off on them" or "contaminates" them by contact?
do folks come and pull on your arms to get you to the altar at the end of each service?
Are you excluded from any church/family/social events?

Acutally they all love me for whatever reason. Even my old youth group is like stoked I am coming back though I am not going to be the youth leader. Even a person I was at odds with is SOOOOOO excited, that is the words that person used. I am not excluded from anything. Infact the UPC Pastor and I play golf with each other every couple of weeks and I wear shorts and he doesn't care. Only people that care seem to be other saints though most of them have no idea I wear shorts or go to movies.

dizzyde · #87 03-24-2008, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

Self-sacrifice and denial is exactly the Christ-like model ... Husbands are instructed to love their wives the way Christ loves the church.
As long as you are not sacrificing the TRUTH .. Jesus Christ ... in the process ... do what's best for your family, JT ...

Despite what we all think.

DA, you are so right on in this post, if I was standing next to you right now, I would give you a big old hug!!!!

Man, why do the majority of people not get this???

SDG · #88 03-24-2008, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizzyde

Once again I want to say that I think you are being a great husband and father in this situation.

JT is alright in my book, too.

I pray God give you continued strength and wisdom in dealing w/ this delicate situation.

dizzyde · #89 03-24-2008, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrmptPraise

I said it first!.....lol

Well..... I agreed with you first!!!

Jack Shephard · #90 03-24-2008, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rico

Brother, if God did in fact lead you to this other church then disobeying Him will cause you much more problems.

See that is the thing, "if." There are alot of 'ifs' in LIFE-so says Met Life, which is true. One thing I know about God and His word is family comes first. So 'if' I missed God by leaving then I am wrong. 'If' I was to go there for a time of refreshing and return then I am right. His ways we do not understand. All I know is that I have a comforting feeling about this. Not much else I can say exactly.