Beautiful story! Thanks for posting it. I've never taken the time to say it, but I enjoy reading all the devotionals and stories you post here. Thanks for sharing them.
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Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children
Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been
operating in many of our churches. They have been identified as: Bin
Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin.
Their leader, Lucifer Bin Workin, trained these groups to destroy the
Body of Christ. The plan is to come into the church disguised as
Christians and to work within the church to discourage, disrupt, and
destroy.
However, there have been reports of a sixth group. A tiny cell known by
the name Bin Prayin is actually the only effective counter terrorism
force in the church. Unlike other terrorist cells, the Bin Prayin team
does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along.
Bin Prayin does whatever is needed to uplift and encourage the Body of
Christ. We have noticed that the Bin Prayin cell group has different
characteristics than the others. They have Bin Watchin, Bin Waitin, Bin
Fastin, and Bin Longin for their Master, Jesus Christ to return.
NO CHURCH IS EXEMPT! However, you can spot them if you
bin lookin and bin goin!
2. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the
counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
4. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient
Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
5. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than
GM.
6. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
7. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned
their children's names.
8. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico
.
9. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
10. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
11. The Mafia is laying off judges.
12. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
13. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff
scandal. Oh, Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being
investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And,finally...
14. I was so depressed last night thinking about the
economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
On this day, God wants you to know...... that difficult people are very important, - they teach you tolerance and acceptance. If all was going your way all the time, you would become a spoiled child, wouldn't everyone? Difficult people are just one of the ways God teaches us to expand beyond our egos and accept other perspectives on life.
I wish we all could have lived the rest of our lives without hearing of another natural disaster. But, here we go again. I don't know anyone who isn't moved by the devastating earthquake in Haiti.
Once again, we are struck with grief that so many lives were cut short and many more people are suffering in the quake’s aftermath.
Once again, we have felt overwhelmed by the magnitude of this tragedy. And personally, my heart goes out to the people whose lives will be forever changed by this event.
In times like this, my brain starts to short-circuit. Why do these tragic things happen to people? Where is God when these things happen? Honestly, I have to admit, I don’t understand.
Sure, theologians have explanations. Because of sin, we all deserve God’s wrath. Anything good we experience is due to God’s grace and mercy. (I believe these things, by the way!) But, while I understand that natural disasters happen, they still don’t compute. I can’t get my brain around them.
Some might see these issues as a roadblock to faith, because they can’t “believe” in a God who would allow such tragedies. But, do you know what I’ve discovered? It’s okay that we don’t always understand. Even though I don’t understand – and can be frustrated and angry at these tragedies – I still believe.
In fact, I think that part of a life of faith in God includes living with things we don’t understand.
Take for example the Biblical account of the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt. The Bible makes it clear that God “hardened” Pharaoh’s heart. Pharaoh won’t let the Israelites leave Egypt. God, then holds Pharaoh responsible for his stubbornness and punishes him and all of Egypt as well.
From a human perspective something seems wrong with the picture, but I still believe God is righteous – always doing what is right. In fact, God defines the meaning of what is “right.” He sees the big picture. I cannot. He understands completely. I do not. He is God. I am not.
Perhaps, you – like me – are making a list of things that you don’t understand, filing them away so you can ask God about them when you stand before Him one day. I don’t think God has a problem with this!
When you encounter frustrations about life – and you find things you don’t understand – share them with God. He’s big enough to handle them. Then, resolve to believe that God, who is righteous, will always do the right thing. Live by faith, not by sight.
2. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the
counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
4. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient
Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
5. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than
GM.
6. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
7. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned
their children's names.
8. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico
.
9. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
10. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
11. The Mafia is laying off judges.
12. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
13. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff
scandal. Oh, Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being
investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And,finally...
14. I was so depressed last night thinking about the
economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
All of these are funny, but I looooved the last one the best!
At a conference of the Governors of the States some years ago, an interesting question was raised during one of the political debates. What is the greatest thing in the world? It was absolutely quiet. None of the governors had an answer. Finally a young aide took the microphone and said, "The greatest thing in the world is that we can walk away from yesterday."
I'm not even sure if that young aide knew that she had just summarized the essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The good news of the Christian faith is we can walk away from yesterday.
The Apostle Paul could walk away from his persecution of the Christians and answer the call to Christ (Acts 9).
The woman taken in adultery could walk away from her destructive lifestyle into a new journey with Jesus Christ (John 8).
Matthew could walk away from his job as a crooked tax collector and follow Christ into a new life (Mark 2).
The prodigal son could walk away from his life of moral failures in the far country and walk into the loving, forgiving arms of his father (Luke 15).
To walk away from the failures and guilt of yesterday lies at the very heart of forgiveness. This is no call to cop-out, dropout, or otherwise escape responsibility. But it is a liberating message that no one, absolutely no one, is tied to a past from which there is no release.
The "gospel" gladly sings of the possibility of new beginnings. Aren't you glad you are a Christian?
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