Broken without being Bitter

As a Pastor I presently have 19 young men in ministry: 2 retired Pastors call me their 'Shepherd' and 5 are still in the home Church. I have one on foreign soil, some evangelizing and some Pastoring.

Some time ago I had one call me telling me of a vision that God had given him. In the midst a frustrated ministry as he prayed that God would make him in His (God's) image He saw the hands of God reaching for his face and began to twist it, maneuver it and redesign it. Knowing that when God was done he would see a 'new man and new ministry' he was shocked to look in a mirror and see the most horribly ravaged face he'd ever seen!

"God, you've destroyed me!" he cried only to hear God say, "You said you wanted to me like me. If you truly want to be like me you have to learn how to be broken without being bitter."

Why this story today? I have another young man starting a Church in a high crime area, extremely rough area, nearby us. He and his wife have been married for some years and have attempted to have a baby for over 9 years. A few weeks ago they drove back 'home' to tell me that they were now expecting a baby. As you might imagine, we rejoiced with them to know that God was blessing them with their heart's desire.

Last night I got an email from him telling me about the 'worst best day of my life'. It seems that they got to hear their baby's heartbeat for the first time yesterday morning. He said their dreams all began to explode; "I'm taking him fishing! You're going to dress her up in frilly dresses! I'm going to play ball with him!" It was the best day of their life.

But it was the 'worst best day'. Last night he stood in the Emergency Room with a miscarried baby and a broken heart.

Today is my own wedding anniversary; I'll now leave in moments to gladly spend these mourning hours with this family and share with them a shattered heart. In the midst of their building a Church in a desperately needed - but desperately dangerous - area with all the pressures that come from a Home Missions work... they now have to deal with being crushed. Broken.

It happens to us all... we're all broken at one time or another, in one way or another. We all deal with it differently.

I've watched some on this forum get caught up in so many miniscule battles spouting venom over past problems. In the end, I suspect that some of our problems from our 'past' did little more than hurt our 'feelings'.

Ultimately, I guess the real question those of us who want to be like God should be asking ourselves is this;

Can we be Broken without being Bitter?

Maybe that's the purest sign of maturity there is after all.

Selah.