Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

Let me preface this by saying, I mean NO DISRESPECT. With that said, people are still people and funny things do happen in church.

Here are a few "interpretations" that a couple of my friends told were said at their church while growing up. Do you have any funny/carnal ones that you remember?

"If you think you are tired, I hung on the cross. I'm tired."

"My people, my people. If you will not work for me, I will kill you."


It was a prayer meeting and the pastor was closing it. Apparently, this lady didn't think it was time to close the prayer meeting.

"Will ye not tarry or would you rather eat your hamburgers?"

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

you made me laugh...thanks....love you, Renda...

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

While attended JCM there was a dear lady that would interpret almost every service. One Sunday morning, she got up and said a lot, then at the end added - - "yeah, I say unto thee - Happy Birthday, Bro. Craft!"

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

I'm sure God has to laugh at us at times too!

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

"Yea I say, if you don't leave your carnal ways, I will write MICHELOB over your door!"

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

YEA, I SAY UNTO THEE...*long pause* ...I can't remember what I was going to say!"

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

I thought I was the only one to hear stuff like that!!!!!!! Happy Birthday Bro. Craft.
Now that takes the cake!!!:ursofunny

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

Ha! Now, that is hilarious!!!

Mr. S - - two of those are from our dear friend Jim Wilkins. And him telling them was half the entertainment!

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

"Verily, doest thou not know that My words are in red?"

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

Well, so far, I don't believe any of these are HIS words! :ursofunny

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

Growing up, we had a sweet lady that would give the interpretation almost every service. It was always the same, "Behold, I come quickly!"

As a teenager, I prayed one time, "Lord, I understand that you're coming quickly! Would you mind saying something different every once in a while?" I later felt real guilty for praying that prayer!

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

Well, "behold I come quickly" is Scripture so we can't say her message was unscriptural

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

We had a ladie for years who would stand up at least every other service and give
a message in tongues.

Right before she would began to speak, she would out of nowhere just scream like
a panther!!!!! Scare the living poop out of everyone.

I wanted a many a night after that to stand up and say..............Lord, Please Come Quickly!

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

:ursofunny

Re: Loosely Interpreted Messages
 

It was great seeing Jim again! I wish I could have spent more time with him. I know you guys had a blast!