Men Are ...????
 

Okay, ladies here's your chance! Women Are Weird, (according to Ron) and Men Are ....???? (according to Been Thinkin!)


A husband and wife were going through a rocky phase and were giving each other the silent treatment.

One day, at the height of hostilities, he realised that he needed his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. so that he could catch an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5 a.m."

The next morning, he woke to discover that it was 9 a.m. and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to confront his wife when he noticed a piece of paper on his pillow.

The paper read: "It is 5 a.m. Wake up."



A man was married to the worst cook in the world. One evening he came home from work to find her in floods of tears.

"It's a disaster," she wailed. "The cat's eaten your dinner!"

"Never mind" said the husband. "I'll buy you a new cat."

Been Thinkin

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Two husbands were discussing the state of their marriages.

One said: "My wife always complains that I don't help with the housework."

The other said: "Mine constantly complains that I never listen to her-or something like that."


Been Thinkin

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Cindy..... I guess you might as well merge this with Ron's "Women Are Weird" post. You women are smart enough not to post about us guys. No one has responded so I'm okay with you just adding this to Ron's collection! :heeheehee

Been Thinkin

Re: Men Are ...????
 

I'll bite, BT!

Men are like Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

Men are like Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

:heeheehee

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Oh, what a christian thing to post. :foottap

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Men are like Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Men are like the Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

:thumbsup :heeheehee

Re: Men Are ...????
 

HA Ha PO. Good ones! :happydance And when they do mature I guess they're not worth much!

BT

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Yea, it reminds me of your Jack Daniels avatar, El Payaso.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

What avatar?

Re: Men Are ...????
 

I better not push my luck and comment on that. :heeheehee

Re: Men Are ...????
 

An old one you used to have.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Men are like Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

:thumbsup

BT

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Men are like Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Men are like...Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like...Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like...Parking Spots. The good ones are taken and the rest are too small. :heeheehee

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Missing Spouse

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station,
along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband
was missing.

The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.
The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes,
dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested,
"Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, has a big mouth,
and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

BT

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Men are like...Parking spots. The good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

I knew where that one was going when she started her description!

WOOT!!! :toofunny :toofunny

Re: Men Are ...????
 

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

:heeheehee :icecream

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter,
ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to
carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off.

Otherwise they were all going to fall.

They were not able to choose that person, but
then the woman made a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of
the rope, because as a woman, she was used to
giving up everything for her husband and kids,
and for men in general, without ever getting
anything in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men
started clapping their hands...

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Oops, I've actually done that. :heeheehee

HE: Go on, dont be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Hey guys, I didn't start this! Oh yea, I guess I did! :foottap :heeheehee But that's the way we argue sometimes with our "serious" posts.

Been Thinkin

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Lalalalalala! :heeheehee

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

:dogpat

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Ruh-Roh!! :heeheehee

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

I need that emoticon that Cindy has that is rolling on the floor laughing. LOL!

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Well, got to stop and eat....thank God! At least my wife said I did! And I always do what she tells me to do! :foottap

Been Thinkin

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Heeheeheeheehee

Re: Men Are ...????
 

We'll, take care of your thread for ya, BT. Not a problemo! :heeheehee

Re: Men Are ...????
 

BT, Good Grief, what were you thinking? By posting this thread, you've given PO, a place to let loose!

Re: Men Are ...????
 

:icecream

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Okay, a woman has a choice between a man her age, or a lot younger, who should she pick?
The younger one--cause most men never grow up!

Re: Men Are ...????
 

She cold as ice! I love this woman! :heeheehee

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Dont you already have one?

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Well, I have to be a little more logical on this silly thread. Younger men are way more immature. Eeeesh!

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Why thank you---I think!:yourock

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Adam, is working in the Garden of Eden, when the skies open up, and God appears spotlighted by a shaft of brilliant blue light.

God asks Adam how things were in the garden:
'Fine thanks' replies Adam.

'God', inquires Adam, 'Why did you make Eve so beautiful?'
'So you would love her.' Said God

'But why did you make her so dumb?'
'So she would love you.' Explained God.

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Anne put an advertisement in the 'classifieds' : Husband Wanted.

Next day Anne received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing : You can have mine.

:dogkiss

Re: Men Are ...????
 

Aye-curumba :heeheehee

Andrea, with great alacrity, leaned over, took a deep breath, made a wish and threw in a penny.

Toby also decided to make a wish, but he leaned over too far, fell into the well, and drowned.

Andrea was stunned for a moment but then smiled, 'It really works!'

Re: Men Are ...????
 

In a poll held in the USA, men and women were asked if they would marry the same person if they had it to do all over again.

80% of the men responded that they would marry the same woman.

Interestingly, only 50% of the women said that they would marry the same man. Oh dear! :heeheehee