Would Like Some Guidance
 

My friends first child died shortly after birth. Coming soon will be the child's first birthday. This is something new in my life so I don't want to make a mistake. I feel that I should acknowledge the birthday but, how? Just a card? Flowers? I had thought of a small memory box? If anyone has experienced this tragedy personally or if you, too, have faced this terrible loss with a friend, I would appreciate any guidance that you can give. Thank you and may God bless!

Re: Would Like Some Guidance
 

I suggest a quiet remembrance. Something mailed to her, perhaps, that she can look at (or even cry over) in private when she receives it. It can be awkward to receive a very sentimental gift in person. But remembering her lost child's birthday is very sweet and appropriate. My sister lost a newborn son about 20 years ago, and she still visits his grave every year on his birthday.

Definitely keep any messages you add very simple as well. Just knowing that you've thought about her at all is enough. :) If it were me, I'd probably just sign my name under "Thinking of you" and that's about it.

My 2 cents!

Re: Would Like Some Guidance
 

Great post!

Re: Would Like Some Guidance
 

I agree with MB, a simple card will be so appreciated later. The upcoming date will bring back some emotions of that time, so a card from a friend will be precious that you remembered. I still get overwhelmed sometimes even though it has been years since we lost our daughter and son.
You are a great friend to think of doing something like this.

Re: Would Like Some Guidance
 

I agree with these posts, beenthere.

For years after we lost our son, we would get "Just Thinking of You" cards around the anniversary of his death. People letting us know they had not forgotten us and what we went through.

It will mean more than I can tell you.......

Re: Would Like Some Guidance
 

What a thoughtful friend you are. My son, Matthew, died almost 30 years ago. He was 3 1/2 years old. It was comforting to us to know that our friends remembered that Matthew was here and left his mark.

Re: Would Like Some Guidance
 

It is clear that MissBratfield is the Ann Landers and Dear Abbey of AFF. Excellent post.

Re: Would Like Some Guidance
 

I want to thank all of you who replied. I know my friend is hurting right now and I felt that I needed to let her know that I remembered and I care. Thank you so much for the guidance.

Re: Would Like Some Guidance
 

you know sometimes a simple hug and I love you and I am thinking about you in person is good too.