Did You Scorn Leaving the UPC?

[Praxeas]

After you left, did you often go to forums you knew where UPCers would be and trash the UPC non-stop then after someone pointed out you sounded bitter claim "Oh Im over it and have moved on. I have no stones to throw"?

[n david]

Prax - it's "relating their experience," not bashing.

[Praxeas]

Oh right...forgot

[endtimer]

Ha ha this thread brings the funny.

[jediwill83]

No...sure didnt...kept to myself...didnt try to convince anyone or defend my actions because ultimately it was my decision and not something that could be related and explained in one simple discussion or conversation.Tried having some honest discussions about it and ended up experiencing all kinds of defensiveness to the nth degree... it was the equivalent of covering your ears going "LALALALALA CANT HEAAAAAR YOOOU" So instead of waste my time I just kept my mouth shut...they went their way n I went mine.

[ILG]

Prax,

I hope you asked this question in sincerity and not just to laugh and scorn the people who may reply.

When I left, I was hurting so deeply, I cannot even describe it. I came to forums because I needed to talk, needed to make sense of what happened to me.

I would say "ah" and people would jump me like nobodies business and scream and yell about what a bitter, horrible backslid person I was. I had to leave for my own emotional safety. I came back later, after I had healed some and did not talk about anything but "safe" subjects for a long time.

It is very telling to me that every time anyone brings up a "not safe" subject, meaning anything negative about the UPC, like it's ugly hang nail on it's big ugliest toe that is the most obvious fault of the UPC, some people just can't handle the slightest bit of criticism at all. I think that is very sad. For these people, there is no rationality to constructive criticism for they believe that ANY criticism is hateful and spiteful.

I can't help that though. And watch the fur fly from all the people I just described after I post this.

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by ILG

Prax,

I hope you asked this question in sincerity and not just to laugh and scorn the people who may reply.

.

I asked because people have left this forum over daily seeing negative posts about the UPC. It's gotten so old and tired even I come here less and less.

It's supposed to be Apostolic Friends Forum but it's become "X-UPCers talk about the UPC"

You are actually the one being defensive over my pointing out that several of the posters here constantly do that.

Most of your accusations don't pertain to me

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by ILG

It is very telling to me that every time anyone brings up a "not safe" subject, meaning anything negative about the UPC, like it's ugly hang nail on it's big ugliest toe that is the most obvious fault of the UPC, some people just can't handle the slightest bit of criticism at all. I think that is very sad. For these people, there is no rationality to constructive criticism for they believe that ANY criticism is hateful and spiteful.

.

no that's not the problem and you know it. It's not "any time"..it's the fact that it happens ALL the time over and over and over and over. You don't see it because you are not on the receiving end.

How would you feel if your friend or spouse constantly ragged on you over and over and over..criticized you?

It gets OLD real fast

Second, I have NO problem with "unsafe subjects", as you can see I have discussed every topic pertaining to beliefs and practices. I have dealt with standards, tongues, godhead, attitudes, magic hair etc etc

I can DO that without saying "The UPC...."

Do You understand? Even those who are not in the UPC have gotten tired of it.

Why can't we talk about the topics by finding common ground instead of alienating UPCers?

Why can't we talk about topics without having to always make it specifically about the UPCers?

[Dichotomy Girl]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

no that's not the problem and you know it. It's not "any time"..it's the fact that it happens ALL the time over and over and over and over. You don't see it because you are not on the receiving end.

How would you feel if your friend or spouse constantly ragged on you over and over and over..criticized you?

It gets OLD real fast

Second, I have NO problem with "unsafe subjects", as you can see I have discussed every topic pertaining to beliefs and practices. I have dealt with standards, tongues, godhead, attitudes, magic hair etc etc

I can DO that without saying "The UPC...."

Do You understand? Even those who are not in the UPC have gotten tired of it.

Why can't we talk about the topics by finding common ground instead of alienating UPCers?

Why can't we talk about topics without having to always make it specifically about the UPCers?

This might surprise you, but I think I can relate. My husband as most know, is an Atheist. And he is a great guy, and we are very much in love. But every once in awhile, he makes one snarky comment too many. And I'm all like "Errrggg...I get it. Christianity is stupid, and Jesus doesn't exist. Point made. Please drop it."

And he always looks so surprised and confused and says "I'm sorry, It was just a joke"

ILG - I, of course, totally understand your perspective too, because I've traveled the same paths.

It's like how when you're a kid, YOU can pick on your little brother, but you'll beat up anyone else who tries?

To people like ILG and I, because of our past, still feel that partial connection to the UPC that will never be erased, as it once was a major part of our lives.

But I think to others, those who are still a part, we've left and rejected the family, and therefore have lost the right to safely criticize.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Dichotomy Girl

This might surprise you, but I think I can relate. My husband as most know, is an Atheist. And he is a great guy, and we are very much in love. But every once in awhile, he makes one snarky comment too many. And I'm all like "Errrggg...I get it. Christianity is stupid, and Jesus doesn't exist. Point made. Please drop it."

And he always looks so surprised and confused and says "I'm sorry, It was just a joke"

ILG - I, of course, totally understand your perspective too, because I've traveled the same paths.

It's like how when you're a kid, YOU can pick on your little brother, but you'll beat up anyone else who tries?

To people like ILG and I, because of our past, still feel that partial connection to the UPC that will never be erased, as it once was a major part of our lives.

But I think to others, those who are still a part, we've left and rejected the family, and therefore have lost the right to safely criticize.

I understand what you are saying, Mich, but as far as I am concerned I will always have the right to chime in about this organization. I have earned that right. However, I rarely do because of all the drama that surrounds it. It gets wearisome.