For those who want to know...RULES at my church!

This is not about bashing...please don't to go there...this is just what my church was like and my Pastor wanted it....we didn't think it was necessary so we left! I love them, and I hope nothing but the best for them, I just think fear rules them and to me that is soooooo sad!

Rules...
1. No talking on the phone for more than 10 minutes
2. No friends outside of church, not even family (it was discouraged strongly)
3. No more than three families at a time in your home and not too often, if you had a gathering you are suppose to ask everyone in the church so no one gets offended.
4. No home bible studies without the ministry being there
5. You must attend all fellowships
6. So lunch dates, or shopping with friends even the ones in church...
7. No important decisions made without consulting the pastor...like, buying a car(new, used, how much you can spend)...same with a home or property.
8. You were not allowed to move, unless you had his OK.

Being we are older we did not attend parenting classes or marriage classes so we missed out on a lot of the rules...but over time we learned. This is not everything, but for the moment its enough...I might add more as I think of them.....

So there ya go Thad....

[Thad]

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

This is not about bashing...please don't to there...this is just what my church was like and my Pastor wanted it....we didn't think it was necessary so we left! I love them, and I hope nothing but the best for them, I just think fear rules them and to me that is soooooo sad!

Rules...
1. No talking on the phone for more than 10 minutes
2. No friends outside of church, not even family (it was discouraged strongly)
3. No more than three families at a time in your home and not too often, if you had a gathering you are suppose to ask everyone in the church so no one gets offended.
4. No home bible studies without the ministry being there
5. You must attend all fellowships
6. So lunch dates, or shopping with friends even the ones in church...
7. No important decisions made without consulting the pastor...like, buying a car(new, used, how much you can spend)...same with a home or property.
8. You were not allowed to move, unless you had his OK.

Being we are older we did not attend parenting classes or marriage classes so we missed out on a lot of the rules...but over time we learned. This is not everything, but for the moment its enough...I might add more as I think of them.....

So there ya go Thad....

This is UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

WHY ???

[Thad]

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

This is not about bashing...please don't to there...this is just what my church was like and my Pastor wanted it....we didn't think it was necessary so we left! I love them, and I hope nothing but the best for them, I just think fear rules them and to me that is soooooo sad!

Rules...
1. No talking on the phone for more than 10 minutes TO WHOM?? ANYBODY??
2. No friends outside of church, not even family (it was discouraged strongly) WHY?? DIDN"T JESUS EAT WITH SINNERS?? HOW DID YOU WIN THE LOST ??
3. No more than three families at a time in your home and not too often, if you had a gathering you are suppose to ask everyone in the church so no one gets offended. WHY!! THAT IS NUTS!
4. No home bible studies without the ministry being there WHY??????
5. You must attend all fellowships AND IF YOU DIDN'T /.?????
6. So lunch dates, or shopping with friends even the ones in church...PLEASE CLARIFY
7. No important decisions made without consulting the pastor...like, buying a car(new, used, how much you can spend)...same with a home or property.
8. You were not allowed to move, unless you had his OK.
THAT IS CULT ACTIVITY !!!

Being we are older we did not attend parenting classes or marriage classes so we missed out on a lot of the rules...but over time we learned. This is not everything, but for the moment its enough...I might add more as I think of them.....

So there ya go Thad....

there you go TS!! Qs in RED

Originally Posted by Thad

there you go TS!! Qs in RED

1. Pretty much…if you were talking more than 10 minutes your just gossiping! Funny though I had several very long conversations with my Pastor!
2. I don’t know how you win the lost if you don’t fellowship with them, you need to make a friend before they will want to hear your testimony…
3. Yes it is…but thems the rules, and that is why the church does not grow. It has a revolving door too many rules
4. NO home bible studies….I wanted to start a ladies bible study group, was told NO because we need to be there e to be sure you don’t get off track!
5. You were talked to if you did not attend all fellowships…scolded!
6. No daytime activities with friends….idle time…fun time
7. Nothing more here
8. I agree brother that is why we left….it was oppressive….

[Thad]

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

1. Pretty much…if you were talking more than 10 minutes your just gossiping! Funny though I had several very long conversations with my Pastor!
2. I don’t know how you win the lost if you don’t fellowship with them, you need to make a friend before they will want to hear your testimony…
3. Yes it is…but thems the rules, and that is why the church does not grow. It has a revolving door too many rules
4. NO home bible studies….I wanted to start a ladies bible study group, was told NO because we need to be there e to be sure you don’t get off track!
5. You were talked to if you did not attend all fellowships…scolded!
6. No daytime activities with friends….idle time…fun time
7. Nothing more here
8. I agree brother that is why we left….it was oppressive….

I just don't understand it really. WHY would a pastor want to overload himself with monitoring all this?? isn't pastoring stressful enough?
what does he really care?? I mean, is he really THAT concerned for the peoples' souls ??

I recall now ...someone said you had to consult the pastor if you and your husband was going to have another child ????????


also, Did you let of ALL rules and standards? if so, was it a result of these silly rules ?

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Thad

I just don't understand it really. WHY would a pastor want to overload himself with monitoring all this?? isn't pastoring stressful enough?
what does he really care?? I mean, is he really THAT concerned for the peoples' souls ??

I recall now ...someone said you had to consult the pastor if you and your husband was going to have another child ????????


also, Did you let of ALL rules and standards? if so, was it a result of these silly rules ?

When I hear of extreme cases like this it legitimately makes me wonder if there are or were, health problems of the brain kind with this pastor. Various tumors can cause this kind of extreme paranoia that this man was obviously dealing with.

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

When I hear of extreme cases like this it legitimately makes me wonder if there are or were, health problems of the brain kind with this pastor. Various tumors can cause this kind of extreme paranoia that this man was obviously dealing with.

It must be contagious then because his son is the same...and I am sure when the grandson takes over he will follow in grandpas footsteps...

Originally Posted by Thad

I just don't understand it really. WHY would a pastor want to overload himself with monitoring all this?? isn't pastoring stressful enough?
what does he really care?? I mean, is he really THAT concerned for the peoples' souls ??

I recall now ...someone said you had to consult the pastor if you and your husband was going to have another child ????????


also, Did you let of ALL rules and standards? if so, was it a result of these silly rules ?

I don't understand either, except they were so afraid...and the bad thing is because of the fear the control they drive people away...the don't allow anyone to be human....its a very painful thing to go through....

We did our very best to be the best saints we could, we worked hard, very hard, and did as we were told no questions asked, then some things started to happen that really rocked the boat...so we got out before the ship sank....I prayed long and hard believe me....I went back to see if I was being over emotional....I wasn't....we were the 10 percent that works our tail off, and we loved it...but the rest was just not right...and we were spanked from the alter constantly ..... never felt that we had a chance of making it to heaven....it was just too hard!

[Thad]

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

I don't understand either, except they were so afraid...and the bad thing is because of the fear the control they drive people away...the don't allow anyone to be human....its a very painful thing to go through....

We did our very best to be the best saints we could, we worked hard, very hard, and did as we were told no questions asked, then some things started to happen that really rocked the boat...so we got out before the ship sank....I prayed long and hard believe me....I went back to see if I was being over emotional....I wasn't....we were the 10 percent that works our tail off, and we loved it...but the rest was just not right...and we were spanked from the alter constantly ..... never felt that we had a chance of making it to heaven....it was just too hard!

How sad! I feel Bad for you people that had to endure this craziness.
just know that most pentecostal churches do NOT fall into this catagory!!!
may the Lord give you all healing - I can understand now where you are.

that is the upside of an organization- BUT WHERE WERE THEY??????
WHY doesn't the Org. step in cases like this ???????

there was a case in San Diego( dave is a witness!) where the pastor was making the people bow and kiss his feet to prove their loyalty. the CA> stepped in and revolked his license

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by Thad

I just don't understand it really. WHY would a pastor want to overload himself with monitoring all this?? isn't pastoring stressful enough?
what does he really care?? I mean, is he really THAT concerned for the peoples' souls ??

I recall now ...someone said you had to consult the pastor if you and your husband was going to have another child ????????


also, Did you let of ALL rules and standards? if so, was it a result of these silly rules ?

I think when you see situations like this, in all honesty, not to bash anyone, but you are dealing with people who have borderline or full-fledged personality disorders. They are people with aggressive, dictator type tendencies, and a lot of it is rooted in inferiority complexes and fear. (if they lose complete control, they lose everything)