Creflo Dollar

[Margies3]

One of the things that has been most effective on my boys as they've gotten older is this: I ask them to do a certain job - mow the grass for instance. Then if I have to remind them again, I just say to them, "if you are not going to do it, just say so now because I will go ahead and do it myself if you're not". Only one time have I ever had to actually follow thru on that threat. I had told Keith to mow and he didn't get to it. I told him twice and then finally said to him that he could forget it - I would just do it myself. He didn't believe I would. So I started the job myself. He looked out his window and saw what I was doing. It took him about 10 seconds to come running out and offer to take over the mower.

guilt is a wonderful tool

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by Margies3

One of the things that has been most effective on my boys as they've gotten older is this: I ask them to do a certain job - mow the grass for instance. Then if I have to remind them again, I just say to them, "if you are not going to do it, just say so now because I will go ahead and do it myself if you're not". Only one time have I ever had to actually follow thru on that threat. I had told Keith to mow and he didn't get to it. I told him twice and then finally said to him that he could forget it - I would just do it myself. He didn't believe I would. So I started the job myself. He looked out his window and saw what I was doing. It took him about 10 seconds to come running out and offer to take over the mower.

guilt is a wonderful tool

Oh Margie! Guilt doesn't work at my house. About 6 years ago, I wanted a garden so I got out the tiller. Now I was not able to push that tiller for very long because of physical conditions, but I was hoping my three men would move off the porch to take it from my hands and let me rest. Sort of visual hint for them to see that the garden needed to be tilled? Ya Know?

I saw my oldest son looking at me huffing and puffing, pushing that tiller, my face getting all red from the effort I was making. I saw people driving by and taking a long look at them on the porch and me in the garden.

My son did get to feeling guilty because he said to his father..."This just doesn't look right ...mamma out there and all doing the tilling and us on the porch". Then he just turned around and walked into the house so nobody else would see him on the porch!

I bring that up every so often just to rub it in.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

Oh Margie! Guilt doesn't work at my house. About 6 years ago, I wanted a garden so I got out the tiller. Now I was not able to push that tiller for very long because of physical conditions, but I was hoping my three men would move off the porch to take it from my hands and let me rest. Sort of visual hint for them to see that the garden needed to be tilled? Ya Know?

I saw my oldest son looking at me huffing and puffing, pushing that tiller, my face getting all red from the effort I was making. I saw people driving by and taking a long look at them on the porch and me in the garden.

My son did get to feeling guilty because he said to his father..."This just doesn't look right ...mamma out there and all doing the tilling and us on the porch". Then he just turned around and walked into the house so nobody else would see him on the porch!

I bring that up every so often just to rub it in.

AreYouReady, I learned how to work this guilt thing effectively from my mom. She was a MASTER at it!

One time, our kitchen sink was plugged. She asked my dad several times to take a look at it. He didn't do it. So finally, while he was at work, she tore into the job. Took ALL the plumbing under the sink apart piece by piece and had it laid out on the kitchen floor. When dad got home, he started to say something to her about how she should have waited and shouldn't have done it herself. She just looked at him and told him, "I asked you to do it several times. You never did. So I assumed you weren't going to. It had to be done. So what else was I supposed to do? Now, if you'd like to put it back together, feel free. If not, I'll do that too"

We kid's stood in the other room holding back our giggles. We knew she had one-upped him!

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Margies3

AreYouReady, I learned how to work this guilt thing effectively from my mom. She was a MASTER at it!

One time, our kitchen sink was plugged. She asked my dad several times to take a look at it. He didn't do it. So finally, while he was at work, she tore into the job. Took ALL the plumbing under the sink apart piece by piece and had it laid out on the kitchen floor. When dad got home, he started to say something to her about how she should have waited and shouldn't have done it herself. She just looked at him and told him, "I asked you to do it several times. You never did. So I assumed you weren't going to. It had to be done. So what else was I supposed to do? Now, if you'd like to put it back together, feel free. If not, I'll do that too"

We kid's stood in the other room holding back our giggles. We knew she had one-upped him!

HAHA!!! That is GREAT!!! My mother has used the same tactic on my Dad--and STILL does. She will put a bag of trash next to the counter to take out and apprise Jeff that it's there. If he doesn't get to it quickly, she will, rather pitifully, march her 78 year old self and the trash out to the big trash can at the end of our driveway. Jeff hates it when she does that because he likes to take care of that stuff himself, so when she sets down a bag of trash, he jumps on it.

She has him well-trained.

[SiblingRevelry]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Is this the same book that advocated physically punishing infants?

Yes. I'm being deliberately vague because I don't want someone going off to find this book and taking the advice to heart. Hitting a baby because they act in developmentally appropriate ways and aren't developed enough to understand why they're being physically punished is not a good thing at all.

[Nitehawk013]

When we bought our house, one of the upstairs rooms was first designated as a play room for our son. He was 4 at the time.

This play room was a mess of messes one day and we had people coming over to see the house. So we told him he needed to clean the play room up, which he had already done when we had asked before. He said he didn't want to. His mother made it clear to him he needed to clean it. I went outside to do some work outside, and when I came back in maybe 20 minutes later, he was standing in the play room still refusing to clean it up. So I asked him what he was supposed to be doing. He said he was supposed to be cleaning. I asked why he wasn't doing it and he again said he didn't want to. So I told him clearly that he was not listening to his mother and I and that rebellion would not be tolerated. I was going out to finsih up outside and if I came back in he had better be cleaning or he was getting a spanking.

So, I come back in maybe 15 or 20 later an dhe was still just standing in the room not cleaning. I asked him why he wasn't cleaning and he said he didn't want to. I reminded him of what I said about the spanking and he sai dhe didn't want a spanking. So I told him he was getting a spanking because he was being disobediant. So he got spanked. Then I got him to stop crying so had and told him he needed to clean the room. He said he didn't want to. So I told him he needed to clean the room and that if I came back and he wasn't cleaning, he was going to get another spanking.

He did not clean, so he got the same speech and a second spanking. He STILL said he didn't want to clean and wouldn't do it. So, he was given a THIRD spanking. A few minutes after this he finally decided it was time to clean up the room.

Using our words didn't convince him to do what was asked. Threats of not getting his toys didn't. Rebellion reared up in this sweet 4 year olds heart and it was not goign to be talked down. It had to be squashed.

Since that time we have not seen anywhere near that spirit of rebellion out of him. Say what you will, but I believe it is because he learned the hard way that we would not tolerate such attitude from him and that any such attitude would be met with force.

[canam]

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

When we bought our house, one of the upstairs rooms was first designated as a play room for our son. He was 4 at the time.

This play room was a mess of messes one day and we had people coming over to see the house. So we told him he needed to clean the play room up, which he had already done when we had asked before. He said he didn't want to. His mother made it clear to him he needed to clean it. I went outside to do some work outside, and when I came back in maybe 20 minutes later, he was standing in the play room still refusing to clean it up. So I asked him what he was supposed to be doing. He said he was supposed to be cleaning. I asked why he wasn't doing it and he again said he didn't want to. So I told him clearly that he was not listening to his mother and I and that rebellion would not be tolerated. I was going out to finsih up outside and if I came back in he had better be cleaning or he was getting a spanking.

So, I come back in maybe 15 or 20 later an dhe was still just standing in the room not cleaning. I asked him why he wasn't cleaning and he said he didn't want to. I reminded him of what I said about the spanking and he sai dhe didn't want a spanking. So I told him he was getting a spanking because he was being disobediant. So he got spanked. Then I got him to stop crying so had and told him he needed to clean the room. He said he didn't want to. So I told him he needed to clean the room and that if I came back and he wasn't cleaning, he was going to get another spanking.

He did not clean, so he got the same speech and a second spanking. He STILL said he didn't want to clean and wouldn't do it. So, he was given a THIRD spanking. A few minutes after this he finally decided it was time to clean up the room.

Using our words didn't convince him to do what was asked. Threats of not getting his toys didn't. Rebellion reared up in this sweet 4 year olds heart and it was not goign to be talked down. It had to be squashed.

Since that time we have not seen anywhere near that spirit of rebellion out of him. Say what you will, but I believe it is because he learned the hard way that we would not tolerate such attitude from him and that any such attitude would be met with force.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

When we bought our house, one of the upstairs rooms was first designated as a play room for our son. He was 4 at the time.

This play room was a mess of messes one day and we had people coming over to see the house. So we told him he needed to clean the play room up, which he had already done when we had asked before. He said he didn't want to. His mother made it clear to him he needed to clean it. I went outside to do some work outside, and when I came back in maybe 20 minutes later, he was standing in the play room still refusing to clean it up. So I asked him what he was supposed to be doing. He said he was supposed to be cleaning. I asked why he wasn't doing it and he again said he didn't want to. So I told him clearly that he was not listening to his mother and I and that rebellion would not be tolerated. I was going out to finsih up outside and if I came back in he had better be cleaning or he was getting a spanking.

So, I come back in maybe 15 or 20 later an dhe was still just standing in the room not cleaning. I asked him why he wasn't cleaning and he said he didn't want to. I reminded him of what I said about the spanking and he sai dhe didn't want a spanking. So I told him he was getting a spanking because he was being disobediant. So he got spanked. Then I got him to stop crying so had and told him he needed to clean the room. He said he didn't want to. So I told him he needed to clean the room and that if I came back and he wasn't cleaning, he was going to get another spanking.

He did not clean, so he got the same speech and a second spanking. He STILL said he didn't want to clean and wouldn't do it. So, he was given a THIRD spanking. A few minutes after this he finally decided it was time to clean up the room.

Using our words didn't convince him to do what was asked. Threats of not getting his toys didn't. Rebellion reared up in this sweet 4 year olds heart and it was not goign to be talked down. It had to be squashed.

Since that time we have not seen anywhere near that spirit of rebellion out of him. Say what you will, but I believe it is because he learned the hard way that we would not tolerate such attitude from him and that any such attitude would be met with force.

Nitehawk, even though we have rarely spanked our children, I'm NOT opposed to spanking, especially in the context of disciplining a rebellious child. I'm still confused as to why ANY Christian parent would support Creflo Dollar or any other Christian slapping or choking their child. A spanking and a beating are two different things. My husband was raised in an abusive home--they were whipped with a belt until blood ran down their legs, and whipped until they STOPPED crying, among other things. That's not "spanking"; that's abuse. Even if it's for a "good reason", it's still abuse.

It just baffles me when these news stories come up and it's like all parents who favor corporal punishment have to show solidarity for the parent over the child-victim, even if the punishment is obviously too harsh. Why? Denouncing violence and extreme behavior doesn't mean you have to denounce corporal punishment.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by SiblingRevelry

Yes. I'm being deliberately vague because I don't want someone going off to find this book and taking the advice to heart. Hitting a baby because they act in developmentally appropriate ways and aren't developed enough to understand why they're being physically punished is not a good thing at all.

Horrible books and horrible authors. UnbeLIEVable how many Christians embrace their books and tactics.

[Nitehawk013]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Nitehawk, even though we have rarely spanked our children, I'm NOT opposed to spanking, especially in the context of disciplining a rebellious child. I'm still confused as to why ANY Christian parent would support Creflo Dollar or any other Christian slapping or choking their child. A spanking and a beating are two different things. My husband was raised in an abusive home--they were whipped with a belt until blood ran down their legs, and whipped until they STOPPED crying, among other things. That's not "spanking"; that's abuse. Even if it's for a "good reason", it's still abuse.

It just baffles me when these news stories come up and it's like all parents who favor corporal punishment have to show solidarity for the parent over the child-victim, even if the punishment is obviously too harsh. Why? Denouncing violence and extreme behavior doesn't mean you have to denounce corporal punishment.

Likely because we don't see the problem with what Creflo did. When my son is 15 I hope he has been taught and raised in such a way that he wouldn't act in such a way. However, if he does you can be sure he will have to go through dad in order to leave the hosue to go to some ungodly party. If he chooses to directly rebel and disobey me when I tell him he is not leaving and going to such place, he will have to go through me. If that ends with him being slapped, punched or tossed back into the house...so be it.

Children don't get to run the show and tell their parents who is in charge and who is going where.

It's funny. There was a day when boys and girls would stand up to mom or dad as if it were a rite of passage, and when mom or dad knocked them on their behind and showed them who was boss it was just considered the way things are. That was how you dealt with a teenager who got too big for their britches. Now the parent is supposed to just allow teenagers to just do as they please because "you can't abuse your child". Nonsense.

I suppose I support Creflo because I know too many teenagers who think they have a right to rebel and disobey parents and that they can just hide behind pathetic laws that prevent parents form putting them in their place. If Creflo told her she wasn't allowed to go to that party, and she was brazen enough to blow off his words and attempt to walk out right in front of him, then I don't care if he slapped her, choked her or dragged her by her hair back into the house and made it very clear to her that HE was the one in charge.

I bet she has no problem living it up on daddies millions. well...then she should have no trouble following daddies rules. She is the villain in the story, not Creflo for being a strong dad who will not be pushed around by a bratty kid.