Not sure where to go from this point...

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

But, to EB's point, even though you don't feel that anything you say will change your pastor's mind (and I'm sure you're right) you owe it more to yourself to sit down with him and share your feelings.

If you decide to do this, just remember that you are not likely to get any compassion for your views. When that happens, you will know that you are making the right decision to leave. On the flip-side, you may want to think twice before speaking with him. If you feel strongly you should.....then maybe you should. But if you know it will be a waste of time, you don't need to put yourself through that, probably.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

In the meantime, you should adhere to the church guidelines unless and until you decide to attend elsewhere. (My opinion, of course.)

I agree with this. For example, in my case, I held to standards completely until we left.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

.

But, to EB's point, even though you don't feel that anything you say will change your pastor's mind (and I'm sure you're right) you owe it more to yourself to sit down with him and share your feelings.

Originally Posted by ILG

If you decide to do this, just remember that you are not likely to get any compassion for your views. When that happens, you will know that you are making the right decision to leave. On the flip-side, you may want to think twice before speaking with him. If you feel strongly you should.....then maybe you should. But if you know it will be a waste of time, you don't need to put yourself through that, probably.

Not true in all cases, ILG. My daughter sat down with her pastor and went over what she couldn't agree with. He, of course, believes what he believes, but he was extremely kind to her and never once belittled her. They agreed to disagree and she moved on. I am proud of her for having the courage and fortitude to do things the right way - having no animosity between them.

[Cindy]

Why did you choose to wear makeup the next Sunday?

[BeenThinkin]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Why did you choose to wear makeup the next Sunday?

Cindy!!! To look pretty! You should know that

Been Thinkin

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Why did you choose to wear makeup the next Sunday?

I"m thinking she toned down her makeup only wearing powder and mascara.

(Or she wanted to look older) - - now that was a funny reason!!!!!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I"m thinking she toned down her makeup only wearing power and mascara.

(Or she wanted to look older) - - now that was a funny reason!!!!!

Where do they sell that? It sounds interesting!

[Evenuntodeath]

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

As to this specific situation, let me say what many would refuse to say. Evenuntodeath, non-conformity is one thing...rebellion is another. I don't mean rebellion like some do, where every disagreement is labeled rebellion. I mean it this way. If you can never submit yourself to a church and a leader, and just suck it up and accept that you will never 100% agree with any church or leader, then the problem is YOU not them. Submission and faithfulness is not measured when you agree, but when you disagree.

You have a stable church that was there for you when your life was a mess by your own admission. This church and leaders work with you and nurse you back to health and now all of a sudden you are quick to want to toss them aside and move on because you don't agree with some standards? Sorry but that speaks to your rebellious nature more than their overbearing standards.

I do not know what leader you are speaking of, but the knowledge I have of the Pastors I know is that if you talk to them, they will probably tell you that even if you disagree and don't "line up" they will still want you to come to church and be a part of your church, even if you cannot work in some areas of the church. Most Pastors will still love and care for you despite disagreement, as long as you aren't openly causing division or stirring up little rebellions. At which point YOU would be the one wrong and they would have a scriptural right to mark you as one who cause4s division or sows discord.

My Pastor and I are completely opposed on tithing. I think it is a horrid doctrine. He knows I feel this way. I spoke to him about it. He also know sI don't think we should bother with some of the standards that are preached. Despite this, I am a minister who teaches from the pulpit very often. He knows that while I disagree, I am loyal and love th echurch. So I don't spread my feelings form the pulpit. This is where faithfulness and love for a church is shown. Not in times of agreement, but disagreement.

If you feel you need to leave, then prayerfully consider it, but at least have enough respect fo rhte man who preached salvation to you to sit down and talk to him. Otherwise, it speaks to your problem, not the churches. And if you do not bury a rebellious nature it will just follow you to the next church where you'll find some reason to not want to conform to somethign there as well.

In the end, if you do not deal with it properly you will be like some on this very forum who never go to any church be4cause they have delluded themselves into thinking they can just stay home and "love God" while creating whatever religious rules for themselves they think are good. They get so blinded by their own rebellion and self righteousness that they cannot see how wrong they are. That sister is the path you are on if you do not temper your non-conformist nature with maturity and understanding of submission and allegiance.

Ok, thank you. If I'm honest with myself, I can admit that maybe there is some rebelliousness in my heart. But who doesn't?

Sometimes I'm apprehensive about the idea of marrying and raising my future children in UPC. My friend who was pretty liberal is now married and very conservative. And not that its a bad environment for children, but sometimes I think, what if my daughter wanted to play sports like soccer or basketball? Would I really forbid her because of the skirt dress code? What is she wanted to do ballet? Gymnastics? I want my children, (daughters) to live a life filled with many experiences

[Cindy]

Oh, okay. I thought maybe she hadn't worn makeup to church before. But, just decided to show the Pastor what she thought about his statement. Being as she professes to be a non-conformist. The poster is a she, right?

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Where do they sell that? It sounds interesting!

Haha.

Your daughter "sad" with the pastor, but I knew what you meant.