Your experience when you dropped "dress standards"

[Darcie]

Originally Posted by StMark

Matt,

In my observation,the ladies in these cases want to let go of the standards due to intimidation. They feel ugly and intimidated by the girls in the world or by the Xers who often try to intimidate those still in standards by acting superior in looks. I thiink too, the older the woman gets, she starts to feel even more self conscience about all of this.Many do appear unhappy. Perhaps she is looking older then her husband ????

I think whether a church stays with standards depends on the pastor's wife. If she's conservative and wants to stay with the UPC look, so goes the church.

St. Mark my avatar is when I was still UPC.

I don't think I look ugly or older than my husband.

[bkstokes]

I was not raised pentecostal, and I am a guy. Thus, when I obeyed Acts 2:38 I did not really even consider the topic. I just took it for what they said it was. Don't get me wrong I looked at the scriptures and amened the pastor when he preached it, but that was about it.

My wife also was not raised in this but she followed the standards for a while. Then when her hair started to grow really long -- her scalp started having all types of problems (she has got really thick hair) -- and she got tremendous headaches.

She finally told me that she had never been convinced of such teaching and that she was going to cut her hair. I told her that she was responsible to God and could do what she wanted to. Nevertheless, I started to really study out all the issues. After study I came to the conclusion that if someone wanted to do the standards -- as unto the Lord -- then I believed God respected their conscience.

Nevertheless, I could not scripturally find a backing for them. The only inconvience about the whole matter is how people treat us (me included) because my wife doesn't look like them. Friends quit calling. People stopped inviting me to preach, etc.

Ever time we would go to a different church they would immediatly want to get my wife baptized or pray with her to receive the Holy Ghost. IT WAS NOT MY WIFE STOP FOLLOWING THE STANDARDS THAT DID HER DAMAGE. IT WAS HOW PEOPLE TREATED HER AFTERWARDS.

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by bkstokes

I was not raised pentecostal, and I am a guy. Thus, when I obeyed Acts 2:38 I did not really even consider the topic. I just took it for what they said it was. Don't get me wrong I looked at the scriptures and amened the pastor when he preached it, but that was about it.

My wife also was not raised in this but she followed the standards for a while. Then when her hair started to grow really long -- her scalp started having all types of problems (she has got really thick hair) -- and she got tremendous headaches.

She finally told me that she had never been convinced of such teaching and that she was going to cut her hair. I told her that she was responsible to God and could do what she wanted to. Nevertheless, I started to really study out all the issues. After study I came to the conclusion that if someone wanted to do the standards -- as unto the Lord -- then I believed God respected their conscience.

Nevertheless, I could not scripturally find a backing for them. The only inconvience about the whole matter is how people treat us (me included) because my wife doesn't look like them. Friends quit calling. People stopped inviting me to preach, etc.

Ever time we would go to a different church they would immediatly want to get my wife baptized or pray with her to receive the Holy Ghost. IT WAS NOT MY WIFE STOP FOLLOWING THE STANDARDS THAT DID HER DAMAGE. IT WAS HOW PEOPLE TREATED HER AFTERWARDS.

There it is.

[DividedThigh]

i agree baron i think that treatment is abhorrant, dt

[OnTheFritz]

The first thing I did was grow facial hair in my early twenties. Prior to that, I was a Bible Quizzing coach, and during that time, I shaved out of respect for my pastor (though he told me it was not an issue to him), and more importantly - in an effort to prevent the backlash he would inevitably have to deal with. As a side note, I actually did have a couple days worth of stubble on one occasion (I was in a hurry), and he certainly heard about it later.

Shortly after leaving Bible Quizzing, I visited a tournament while having a goatee and mustache (I have a bit of a round babyface, and the goatee makes me look 10 years older). I felt like I had the plague. Fortunately, my church couldn't care less. I can honestly say that once our church quit giving this issue more focus than it deserved, the Spirit of God moved much more freely.

In a church environment, I find that people who adhere to them are much more likely to have a judgmental, jealous and condemning spirit than those who don't. Not everyone is like this, of course. But the tendency is much stronger. The biggest "tell" to me is how bent out of shape people get about those who do not subscribe to these Bible "add-ons". If it were truly an issue of personal holiness, it wouldn't offend you so. But since it is more of a sub-culture identification mark, it creates a "for us or against us" mentality.

I wrote a big long post about this a while back. I referenced it before in my Elephants in the Room post, but here it is again if anyone is interested.

[GraceAmazing]

Originally Posted by bkstokes

I was not raised pentecostal, and I am a guy. Thus, when I obeyed Acts 2:38 I did not really even consider the topic. I just took it for what they said it was. Don't get me wrong I looked at the scriptures and amened the pastor when he preached it, but that was about it.

My wife also was not raised in this but she followed the standards for a while. Then when her hair started to grow really long -- her scalp started having all types of problems (she has got really thick hair) -- and she got tremendous headaches.

She finally told me that she had never been convinced of such teaching and that she was going to cut her hair. I told her that she was responsible to God and could do what she wanted to. Nevertheless, I started to really study out all the issues. After study I came to the conclusion that if someone wanted to do the standards -- as unto the Lord -- then I believed God respected their conscience.

Nevertheless, I could not scripturally find a backing for them. The only inconvience about the whole matter is how people treat us (me included) because my wife doesn't look like them. Friends quit calling. People stopped inviting me to preach, etc.

Ever time we would go to a different church they would immediatly want to get my wife baptized or pray with her to receive the Holy Ghost. IT WAS NOT MY WIFE STOP FOLLOWING THE STANDARDS THAT DID HER DAMAGE. IT WAS HOW PEOPLE TREATED HER AFTERWARDS.

No one can say it better than this post.

[Esther]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

How can I answer that question? Each person needs to search the scripture and talk to God about their concerns. If you are unsure whether something is a conviction or just a "tradition", then you need to pray and study about it until you ARE sure.

Furthermore, it isn't bad to keep something or adhere to a rule or standard just because its nothing more than that--a rule or standard. Manmade, no less.

Amen!

Originally Posted by GraceAmazing

This here is a good question!! I have often wondered this myself because I was raised UPC and all things were wrong AND it was wrong to even question it. So, I asked someone recently this question regarding another standard concern and this is the answer I received (maybe it'll help). If you are concerned with what others will think of you, then that is condemnation. If you are totally mortified and deeply concerned about what GOD thinks of you, that's conviction.

That being said, that probably won't totally answer your question, because in reality, you have to study this out for yourself and come to your own spiritually guided conclusion.

I agree with Miss Bratt (oh, I think that's the right name). It's never wrong to continue to follow what you have been taught, regardless if it's man-made or scripture mandated. However, if you are in a serious questioning mode, you'd best buy a few good commentaries and grab about four or five different Biblical translations and find you a good designated prayer spot in your home and get to work! Not to mention, don't buy any groceries for a while, cause you'll be doing some serious fasting.

I like this!

[Esther]

I am still in the UPCI way. I do not believe in all the standards, yet I do adhere to them.

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by StMark

I've seen several Xpentecostal come back to General conferences showing off thier "new look", flipping their feathered hair around, chomping on bubble gum with bright lip stick on, as a way of announcing to everyone that they are above the "commoners".
Then, I've watched the traditional UPC ladies walk by with their noses culred up in disgust, whispering to the others how disgusted they are.

So the attitudes can work both ways

Originally Posted by Esther

I am still in the UPCI way. I do not believe in all the standards, yet I do adhere to them.

I'm the same Esther. Mostly!

[StillStanding]

My views on standards have changed, but I still look and dress exactly the same as I always have. Well.......I wear shorts sometimes to play golf!