Baptism: Essential or Not

[deacon blues]

We (Apostolic-raised) don't understand what it means to be sons of God, by and large. "If you being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Spirit to those who ask of Him?" Yet we have the "chronic seekers", the begging children coming to the altar asking, pleading, wondering why their Father seems to not like them, why he won't let them speak in tongues, why He seems to give it easily and effortlessly to others and witholds it from them.

I was one of them. From age 8 to 18 I didn't speak in tongues after my first experience as a child. All through the rest of my childhood and teen years I would go to the altar and ask, and weep and beg and try to understand why I couldn't speak in tongues. I was told from the pulpit that there was something wrong with me if I didn't speak in tongues every day. I didn't speak in tongues weekly, monthly or annually. I would waffle from "God has abandoned me" to "I'm just not tarrying long enough", to "I just don't have enough faith", to "I must have something in my life I'm not surrendering". I just couldn't get it. However, I never stopped understanding the cross and His love for me. I would weep at the preaching, during worship, in my bedroom in prayer. I read my Bible and I loved the Lord. I won some friends to Jesus in high school and they were changed. I just had this little personal struggle that I didn't understand. However, I never got to the place where I thought I was lost. I always understood I was His beloved son.

Then in Bible school the revelation hit me. There wasn't a single passage that demanded speakimng in tongues every day or even after the initial infilling. It was a great relief to me and shortly thereafter I prayed for and God gave me the gift of tongues that has been a part of my prayer life, worship and walk God ever since. I still believed in the "initial eveidence" for a long time afterward, but in time came to realize that that wasn't scriptural either.

Looking back on it I can see the one thing that kept me from complete discouragement and hopelessness. It was the grace of God. I never once thought He didn't love me. I never once struggled with the idea that He was with me (sometimes I didn't think He was in me). I never believed that I was less important to the Lord. I knew consciously and subconsciously that I was His child.

And isn't that the source of much of what is wrong in the world today? Father issues. The missing fathers in people's lives or the absence of a loving father is the root of much of what is wrong in humanity. Ultimately its the lack of understanding our heavenly Father and His love and compassion for us that causes people to embrace legalism or to reject Him altogether.

Saw a documentary on Hitler the other day. It said his father was given to fits of rage and would beat Adolph as a little child often. His father was a strict and harsh disciplinarian. I wonder what kind of man Adolph Hitler might have become had he had a different father? What kind of people would we become if we understood our Father is not like this! What the world would become if we understood and had a right relationship with our Father! What kind of Christians and what kind of churches we would be and have if we could embrace this Gospel of Grace versus a different gospel that is "Jesus Plus"?

I thank God for the peace and security I now live with in the greater understanding of His Fatherhood. Its a great place to be! Would to God all men could know its profundity!