A Fallen one who needs help

[fallen]

First off, I'm not looking for judgement. I'm going to be brutality honest here.
I'm 26, I have been going to a upci church since I was 6yrs old. Was in filled with the holy ghost and baptized in Jesus name at age 9. I know my bible, backwards and forwards... but I feel... I'm afraid, I'm to far fallen from God...

Drugs, alcohol, whatever, have never been my temptation. I've turned every possible temptation, again even something as porn. The Devil has used every trick... but my one folly is women. I may easily blow all that junk away, but when a woman comes around, she can get me to do that stuff... (I know you're already probably thinking, well it sounds like your dating "worldly girls") and yes truth be told, I am. I look and see Pentecostal girls as clones/fakes. A lot of time, a worldly person is going to be more "real" then a Christan, and its sad really.

the one bad thing I've noticed about pentecostal, we are the worst when it comes to judgement. We think, because we are "saved" it does make us better than the world. It bothers me that Pentecostal can't admit we are still human, we still have natural human instincts. We have urges, hungers, and cravings.

And I know I'm about to contradict myself right now but right now, I need that pentecostal fellowship. I know better, I'm tired of the outside world logic and view points.

I've had three sexual partners two were worldly women. The first was a married woman. the 2nd was an ex who was pentecostal, she shared the same ideals as me, the whole we are the worst at being judgmental. She was divorced with two kids, and my last ex, who went to a non denominational. Again divorced with a child... are we seeing a pattern yet? lol...Sigh idk..

idk what im looking for, just to talk or advice or just know if I've fallen to far out of God's Grace.