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[Aquila]

Also he criticized the men's group because in one meeting the Spirit moved and it got real. Men were openly confessing sin and struggles with sobbing tears. We prayed for one another and ministered to the needs brought before us. He had no idea of some of the sins and struggles we were having. When it became clear that we weren't perfect he lost his mind. He interrupted the move, rebuked the men confessing, and said we will never be holy if we don't act holy and uphold the image of being holy. The men that didn't confess anything gave strong, Amens. Soon, anyone who disclosed their struggles were sat down. We were told we had to be perfect as He is perfect, no imperfection was to be tolerated. We lost two families over that one. And the men who came alive in that meeting felt blasted for being real. It was like the devil was using men's confessions to destroy them as others jockeyed for their positions. It was the one time we felt real, honest, transparent, willing to address our faults and hidden sin, and it was like the pastor felt it insulted his idea that we were perfect. It was really sad.

We learned to keep our imperfections and struggles a secret. Because if you got real and exposed any hidden sin, struggle, or imperfection, you were toast. The hint of imperfection would be used to destroy you. But we were encouraged to act perfect in all circumstances. In essence, we were taught to be hypocrites.

I know all churches aren't like this. I've been to several that aren't. But the sense of hiding imperfection was present to a lesser degree. I've experienced that the higher the standards, the less authentic the people tend to be.