I had a "God Moment" tonight!

[chosenbyone]

I just have a few minutes before I have to head back out for my interview, so I'll respond to some post above when I return.

I wanted to relay how my court drama went today.

I guess all those Perry Mason reruns I was watching trying to get a crash course in courtroom procedures didn't help me one bit. I paced the floors last night and this morning, doing my best Perry Mason to impress the hearing officer.

Well, the other party didn't even show up this morning, and I almost leaped up and shouted, "So, does that mean I win?". All I heard was, "Sit down Mister Collins and remember this is a serious legal proceeding". So, note to self, SETTLE DOWN!

After a few more preliminaries I was sworn in and my part of the deposition started. OK, I was giving a slew of warnings/instructions and told that anything I said that violated the warnings could be a deciding factor in the decision. No, problem.

Then the hearing officer, aka Devil's Spawn, who obviously didn't like the male species began her line of questioning. She started reading off numbers like 3-A, paragraph so and so and was this an accurate statement? Oh, well, where was that exactly. "MR. COLLINS, DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS GIVING TO YOU REGARDING THESE PROCEEDINGS THIS MORNING?" I said, "Of course, I have them right here"....waiving them around in the air. "SO, YOU ANSWERED AFFIRMATIVE THAT YOU RECEIVED #BLAHBLAHBLAH, DATED BLAH BLAH BLAH?" I TOLD HER, "YYEESS! OH, NOW I SEE THAT 3-A paragraph, did you want me to follow along with you as you read from these pages?"

"THAT WAS THE INSTRUCTIONS GIVING MR. COLLINS, DO YOU HAVE ANY MEDICAL ISSUES THAT PREVENT YOU FROM COMPREHENDING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE", she yelled. "Well, it depends on who you ask, your honor"....second failed attempt at humor.

My attorney leaned over and said the she is the wrong judge to try and butter up, Mr. Collins, please just follow along with the line of questions and answers with short answers. Oh, OK.

That was the hardest thing for me to do because she kept yelling at me STOP GIVING ME A NARRATIVE...JUST ANSWER MY QUESTIONS! (Perry Mason was allowed to use narratives to build his case, boy things have change). "Oh, yes, your honor that was what I was doing, but being from Texas what may appear to be a narrative to some but acutally I was trying to give you the short answer!"....note, third attempt at humor fell flat too.

That was when after the stern look from my attorney that there was no way that I was going to be able to connect with this woman, which has been a knack I had mastered years ago, I soon realized that she may not be a female at all, but some sort of mutant from the far reaches of our Solar System.

Though I felt like I totally blew my chances at winning the case, my attorney told me that during this type of hearing, the only evidence that can be admissible was the evidence given to the court at the date of the hearing. Since, the other party, which was a first for them to be a no show, didn't call to reschedule or bother to call at all, it didn't mean I won, but my chances increased from around 40% up to around 85%. Of course, they still had the option for a final appeal within 15 days of receipt of the verdict.

Now, I am off for my interview. Update will follow.