Quote:
Originally Posted by ILG
I can't say I felt that way. I felt like I was constantly pushed to deny what I had been. That's just my experience. In saying these things, I am not saying that the church didn't mean well. But, to put this into perspective, Larry Booker came out of the church I did. He used his testimony all over the place and by the time I came in, I think the church was plain sick and tired of hearing bad boy stories.
|
That could be true. tbpew is correct. We have to be careful how we present our past. I know we joke here about some things. I'm much more careful in front of my kids and others.
I think it also has to do with leadership. I've seen a big change in how church is being operated, as opposed to when I first got in. If God had not sent men to preach to me, woke me up with a song or scripture, gave me dreams, moved me to continue walking - I would have walked away a long time ago. So, I do know some of what you feel.
To this day, I cringe when I think of Lufkin - although I like being there; see a book printed from WAP - I've ordered books from them. It's like going back to a place with some bad memories. Some memories are bad, many have been good.
On my relationship with God and church people - As I grew in Him, which allowed me to worship freely and He used me in the gifts, gave me knowledge, etc, I didn't see people look at me as an outsider. So any feelings of inadequacy I felt, it was coming from me. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and will always be harder on myself. I'm less of a perfectionist as I get older. lol! I am looking at dust on my curio cabinet as I type knowing I will not dust it today. LOL!