Quote:
Originally Posted by ILG
Obviously. it's how to deal with situations and go forward, but first, those situations must be named and the experiences validated as the experience and perception of the person telling it. Because all too often, people are told, what you experienced doesn't count, you are just a whiner, now please shut up so we can get on with our lives. For ONCE, a conservative posted a thread about hurts and asked people to please share them. WONDERFUL! For once, a conservative didn't say "Shut up and quit whining". So, let's listen to the valid perceptions of those telling the story as THEIR EXPERIENCE and THEIR HURT and let's allow healing to begin.
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Christopher Hitchens has a little comment that he makes in his debates when he is debating Christians. He says, "Christians, see how much they love one another." Now, I understand where he is coming from, because religions kill their wounded. Now, I said religions because hurt and offence is not an exclusive thing which Apostolic Pentecostal Christianity corners the market on.
Every religion, and group that has people involved in it has its share of hurt feelings. Listen Sister, try joining a motorcycle club, if you're a prospect they put you through all kinds of tribulation before you get a patch. Yet, there are people who are wanting to join a motorcycle club. Why? because that is what they are into. Now with religion, people are still joining the Watchtower, the LDS, Unification Church, House of Yahweh, Roman Catholicism, and some Christians still convert to Orthodox Judaism. We may sit back and scratch our heads, but the people who go off and get involved in cults, and strange religions do it because they have found something in that particular religion that meets with their approval. They will go through all kinds of hardship and pain and suffering to stay in these groups. They will separate from family members for these groups. Give up spouses and children for these groups.
We on the outside looking in think, "how in the world do they put up with that?" They do. Now, I said all that to say this, how can we be in a religion all this time and all of a sudden wake up one morning with an offence?
This doesn't come out of the clear blue, and bam, I was hurt by the preacher. First, where are we at when we are having these offences happen? Where are we spiritually? I teach that we have to get over these things. I mean if you are still talking about a situation when a preacher preached from the pulpit and peeled your scalp back, and you felt like you were going to crawl in a hole and die, and you still feel upset about that, then something has gone very wrong. That wrong no longer has anything to do with the preacher. It has all to do with us. You have no control over anyone, of what they say, of what they do, or how they behave. You only have control over you. If we get hurt, we need to first look inward to find out why are we feeling this way. Is it warranted? Should I be upset, and hurt? Or did the other individual drill a nerve? Hey, a stepped on toe hurts.
People endure all kinds of lunacy because they like the religion or group.
People tolerate obnoxious relatives because they are family. You dread them coming over but because its MeMaw, you suck it in and allow her to make you feel like jumping out a window. Yet, what is happening when we are in a religion and now the guru is not so enlightened? Or the priest is really not so nice anymore. Oh, and the Pastor's wife is really a broom flying hag. Come to think about it, I'm offended at the Pastor, and his elitist children with their self-entitlement attitudes.
You know Sister, I think this never happens over night. It's like the people next door, we have barbecues, are children play together and sleep over, we even go on vacations together. Yet, it just takes a series of slights. Little by little the offences happen. Now Dick and Jane aren't so cool anymore, and you know, little Bobby is really a nasty little selfish child after all.
Just like that we are hurt, upset, bitter, we build a fence, and we don't talk anymore. If we want something, we will put up with the most difficult people.
If we no longer feel it's worth our time, we start to cool on the relationship.
Relationships take work, even in a religion. We need to look at what is going on when we get hurt. First and foremost we need to look at ourselves before we start to think the people we once loved are now so hurtful. It maybe that they were always a devil with clothes on, or maybe the problem was always with us?
In Jesus name
Brother Benincasa
www.OnTimeJournal.com
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