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Red Paragraph: This is EXACTLY what I've been talking about but so far, you're just not hearing me. You're opposed to it. As a faithful, attending, tithe-paying, enthusiastic support of your local assembly, you are allowed to oppose it. But I wasn't!!! THIS is the side of the UPC that many of us have been crying out about and this is the systematic problem of which I speak. You see, after spending a lifetime in the fellowship, I also was opposed to the Affirmation Statement. You know what it got me??? Lifetime banishment!! As a result of that I and my family LOST EVERYTHING!!!! I even ended up homeless and had to find various people to live with. For you, it's a moral objection. For me??? It was life. And it was the result of a systematic dogma that was WAY out of bounds! Again, you get to stick your head in the sand, occasionally voice your concerns. Me? I also voiced my concerns by not signing something I morally, ethically, and spiritually couldn't sign. And it cost me everything I had.
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Mr. Smith,
I'm sorry you went through so much. I can relate. But! You still have your family, your most precious thing.....and I have mine. I gave my whole adult life to the UPC from the time I was 19 to the time I was 38. We gave everything we had to it and poured money into every church we were at. Finally, we decided we needed to make some money pastoring so we went to an "established" work, only to be accused of taking money that was not there when we got there. When we told the district board of all the missing records etc. (AS SOON AS WE ARRIVED WE TOLD THEM) it was we were held at arms length. You see, the previous pastor and his wife were big shots and nobody wanted to hear what we had to say. I don't know why they didn't even just look at what we had. But they didn't even want to SEE it. They just wanted status quo.....go on as normal.
So, after our reputation and our health from stress was completely trashed, we finally left everything we had worked 19 years for. It was VERY hard. The first couple of years were a blur and then my husband got cancer and that too was a blur. It takes time to heal, for sure.
I posted out here quite a bit while I was in a great deal of pain. It helped in some small ways, but mostly, I had to walk away and heal alone, because everytime I posted out here about any pain, any sorrow, any trouble, I got lambasted and told things like I needed to stop whining etc. It's the equivalent of "Let them eat cake" which means "I don't have a clue what you are talking about".
And if they don't have a clue, great! But, the most defensive probably do have a clue, they are defending against something.
You will heal in time.....and you have your most precious thing....your family.
The UPC stole a lot from you and from me. But, in the future they will not steal anymore. Take calculated risks and only post what you are ready to defend. Then, walk away and enjoy the sunshine in the freedom you have. You will never again have to take it like that again.
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