Christmas Gifts

jmspiers · #1 01-12-2011, 08:34 PM

My Christmas Story

I went skiing. It was great. Got 8 inches of snow while we were on the slopes. Totally beautiful. I thanked God for such a great gift. And...

...I forgot the moral...

But the other Christmas stories were great!

I'll be praying for notofworks' son. Sounds like that boy just needs to relax and shout how much he loves you as loud as he can. Just tell him to let go of himself totally while holding on to you fervently while humbling himself unconditionally while emptying himself completely while shouting your name loudly while praying to you zealously while dancing ambitiously while meditating sincerely then he'll be able to throw the ball fast enough.

That's all I had to do.

If he can't get it by tomorrow then he's definitely got hidden sin in his life somewhere.

notofworks · #2 01-12-2011, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmspiers

My Christmas Story

I went skiing. It was great. Got 8 inches of snow while we were on the slopes. Totally beautiful. I thanked God for such a great gift. And...

...I forgot the moral...

But the other Christmas stories were great!

I'll be praying for notofworks' son. Sounds like that boy just needs to relax and shout how much he loves you as loud as he can. Just tell him to let go of himself totally while holding on to you fervently while humbling himself unconditionally while emptying himself completely while shouting your name loudly while praying to you zealously while dancing ambitiously while meditating sincerely then he'll be able to throw the ball fast enough.

That's all I had to do.

If he can't get it by tomorrow then he's definitely got hidden sin in his life somewhere.

This may be the best advice I've ever read!!! Thank you so much!!

jmspiers · #3 01-12-2011, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notofworks

This may be the best advice I've ever read!!! Thank you so much!!

Anytime! My prayer list is pretty full, but if you need me to say a prayer sometime just let me know. My prayers usually get answered within 24 hours since I'm so holy

notofworks · #4 01-12-2011, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmspiers

Anytime! My prayer list is pretty full, but if you need me to say a prayer sometime just let me know. My prayers usually get answered within 24 hours since I'm so holy

Seriously??

So evidently, you hold on fervently, humble yourself unconditionally, empty yourself completely, shout loudly, pray zealously, dance ambitiously, and meditate sincerely.

BeenThinkin · #5 01-12-2011, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notofworks

Seriously??

So evidently, you hold on fervently, humble yourself unconditionally, empty yourself completely, shout loudly, pray zealously, dance ambitiously, and meditate sincerely.

If you're gonna call him for prayer you better hurry before he's translated!

BT

notofworks · #6 01-12-2011, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

If you're gonna call him for prayer you better hurry before he's translated!

BT

Yeah, no kidding!!! BT, can you do all these things?

BeenThinkin · #7 01-12-2011, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notofworks

Yeah, no kidding!!! BT, can you do all these things?

Yeah, probably could if I could remember them! No! Wait.... I can't do a lot that stuff....might pull a rib out of joint or get down and not be able to get up. Let's just let prophet (should I have capatalized prophet?) spiers.... excuse me, Spiers, take care of all the physical stuff!

BT

StillStanding · #8 01-14-2011, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

If you're gonna call him for prayer you better hurry before he's translated!

BT

StillStanding · #9 01-14-2011, 04:09 PM

Advice on getting the son to throw 90 mph:

Try yelling in his ear at the top of your lungs and see if that helps!

jmspiers · #10 01-12-2011, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notofworks

Seriously??

Well, Jesus said that if we pray according to His will then we get everything we ask for. It's His will for people to throw baseballs 90 mph, so as long as I pray it in the right way then I get fast answers. But that's only because I'm holier than most other prayer warriors.

Quote:

Originally Posted by notofworks

So evidently, you hold on fervently, humble yourself unconditionally, empty yourself completely, shout loudly, pray zealously, dance ambitiously, and meditate sincerely.

And jump wildly. I forgot that one!