Spanking of children

[diakonos]

What is your opinion on spanking children?

My opinion is that if spanking worked you wouldn’t have to do it again. Inflicting pain confuses a child. I wouldn’t want my child to have an unhealthy fear of me. I’m probably biased because growing up I was hit as the first option. Sometimes yelled and cussed at came first. Sometimes.

I’ll share an experience with you. I did something that required punishment. I was told to get into the shower. I did. After I was nice and wet my mother’s live-in came into the bathroom. He untwisted the wooden plunger stick from the rubber piece. He then proceeded to hit me probably 15-20 times on my bum. I recall the difficulty and pain while sitting at my school desk for maybe a week. I was 7 years old. No big deal. Many have experienced worse.

I don’t think I could spank my child. I don’t grasp this concept of inflicting physical pain on a precious child that I am supposed to love and protect.

If some people hit their spouse like they hit their child they would go to jail.

Your thoughts?

[Scott Pitta]

We were spanked all the time for a variety of reasons. That was child rearing 101 back in the 1960's.

I spanked our daughter twice. Just enough swats to draw a tear. She is all grown up and gone now.

I think she was easier to raise than 3 rambunctious boys.

[hometown guy]

It’s the biblical way to deal with children. I spank them because I love them. I was spanked and it worked. My kids were spanked and it has worked so far. My kids are 18 and 14 and seem to be pretty good. Now hitting someone with a plunger 15-20 times and making them feel it for a week is called child abuse.

[Ehud]

I have spanked both of my children. My oldest is 6 and hasn't required one in years. My youngest is 3 and the number of times could likely be counted on one hand.

Regardless of how you discipline your children, I would suggest three things: warning, timeliness, and consistency. I have never spanked my child without at least warning them if they did X, the consequence is Y. (How can we expect a child to know something is wrong if they haven't been told?) The punishment should always be immediately following the misbehavior so the punishment is connected to the behavior. (I think it is unfair to expect a child to make a connection between misbehaving in the morning and being punished in the afternoon; e.g. wait until your father gets home.) And if you say 'no', mean 'no'. It is difficult to teach a child any sort of lesson if sometimes 'no' is 'no' but other times 'no' is 'okay, whatever'.

And for what it is worth, I am with hometown guy. What you have described isn't a mere spanking, it's child abuse. That sort of behavior should never be condoned.

[Bro Flame]

Correcting your children, whether it be verbal or physical, is beneficial for their well-being. They should know when they've done wrong, and if spanking is necessary, then that act should take place. I'm not talking about abusing your children, but the Bible itself speaks of not spoiling them.

[diakonos]

And for what it is worth, I am with hometown guy. What you have described isn't a mere spanking, it's child abuse. That sort of behavior should never be condoned.

Yes, I know. But it feeds into my bias against spanking.

[Ehud]

Originally Posted by diakonos

Yes, I know. But it feeds into my bias against spanking.

I understand, but I don't believe it should. Someone misapplying the concept shouldn't affect whether or not spanking is proper. That would be like saying because so-and-so abused pain pills, I'm not going to take any after having my wisdom teeth removed.

=============================================

Just to clarify, much like no one is required to take those pain pills after having wisdom teeth removed, I am certainly not telling you that you should definitely spank your child. I'm simply saying don't let a previous bad experience be the deciding factor.

[Bro Flame]

Originally Posted by diakonos

What is your opinion on spanking children?

My opinion is that if spanking worked you wouldn’t have to do it again. Inflicting pain confuses a child. I wouldn’t want my child to have an unhealthy fear of me. I’m probably biased because growing up I was hit as the first option. Sometimes yelled and cussed at came first. Sometimes.

I’ll share an experience with you. I did something that required punishment. I was told to get into the shower. I did. After I was nice and wet my mother’s live-in came into the bathroom. He untwisted the wooden plunger stick from the rubber piece. He then proceeded to hit me probably 15-20 times on my bum. I recall the difficulty and pain while sitting at my school desk for maybe a week. I was 7 years old. No big deal. Many have experienced worse.

I don’t think I could spank my child. I don’t grasp this concept of inflicting physical pain on a precious child that I am supposed to love and protect.

If some people hit their spouse like they hit their child they would go to jail.

Your thoughts?

What happened to you here wasn't correction, it was abuse. Beating a child with a wooden plunger rod perhaps twenty times is severe and cruel. Popping your child on the rear, striking their legs with a switch, popping them in the mouth, or getting a hold of their butt with a belt a couple of times isn't abuse. That's correction.

There's a difference.

[diakonos]

Originally Posted by Holy Roller

What happened to you here wasn't correction, it was abuse. Beating a child with a wooden plunger rod perhaps twenty times is severe and cruel. Popping your child on the rear, striking their legs with a switch, popping them in the mouth, or getting a hold of their butt with a belt a couple of times isn't abuse. That's correction.

There's a difference.

Yes, I know. But why inflict physical pain? People don’t hit their pets to train them, but spanking a child to get the desired result is acceptable? I don’t get it.

[Tithesmeister]

Originally Posted by diakonos

Yes, I know. But why inflict physical pain? People don’t hit their pets to train them, but spanking a child to get the desired result is acceptable? I don’t get it.

Comparing the needs of children to pets may not be the best idea you’ve ever had. Having said that, have you ever heard of shock collars? Or a newspaper used as a means of disciplining a dog?

I believe the rearing of children is a higher calling than training animals. I wouldn’t be flattered if someone told me my children behaved like animals.

Generally, our Heavenly Father should be the model for rearing or training up our natural children. Does he chasten us? Of course! Is it because he loves us? Every time!

[14] I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men:

And of course . . .

Prov.13

[24] He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

If you love your children, you should spank them when their behavior warrants it. If it becomes routine, it loses its effectiveness and can lead to confusion and rebellion.