Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mrs
I have two points of advice for ANY parent:
1.) RESPECT YOURSELF!
2.) BE CONSISTENT!
Respect yourself, and demand respect from your child toward yourself. I think so many problems are overcome when your child respects you. There were many things I didn't allow my children to do to me. They were never allowed to hit me, yell at me, or even *gasp* talk back to me. When a child talks back to you, or whines, he is in essence saying you are 'wrong'. He doesn't respect you and is willing to argue his point until HE is 'right'. When you get this valuable little principle established, the whining, while it may not ever stop completely, lessens greatly. This will help your child restrain himself as he grows and matures and begets good behavior. As my children grew and matured in understanding, they were allowed to answer back one time. If they had a valid point for not doing something they were asked to do or disagree with, they had an opportunity to explain themselves with a proper attitude.
Children have a way of walking all over us, and getting what they want. They figure out what buttons to push, and what works best. If you ever want to establish priniciples in your child's life, you have got to be consistent. Make a rule, and enforce it. I know it's not easy, but you're only taking two steps backwards for every one forward if you won't enforce your rules. Know your child and what punishment is effective, and make sure you have an appropriate punishment for them if they decide to argue/whine with you. For some kids it's just a stern look, for others, it takes much more 'persuasion'.
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MRS, Thank you for your insightful response, you have been most helpful!!
I "know" that being consistant is the main key, I have preached this for years to others seeking advice. But it is the hardest thing I have ever done, he has always been an angel, and we have never realy had any problems with her, so to be crossing this bridge with her is odd. Everyone always tells me how well behaved she is and what a wonderful job I have done raising her. I'm not saying that at home she's lying in the floor kicking and screaming, or trying to attack me physically, but her attitude sticks and I admitt I have not been consistant about correcting her. I plan to change that this evening! We are going to post the rules and the consequences and go over them with her tonight. There will be consequences for each time she "mouths off" and I will follow through. I am so done with this stuff!!
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