Why are some x-UPCers so set on bashing the UPC???

[Coonskinner]

Originally Posted by Revelationist

Many leave hurt... and then you see the UPC in a whole new light from the outside looking in. I remember waving at saint's I'd known all my life only to have them turn their head so they wouldn't have to wave back. They would turn in the store and walk the other way. That's not the UPC you see while your in it.

Neither is it the UPC most folks see who leave right, and don't have an axe to grind, or a pair of mud colored glasses on.

[StillStanding]

There are some people that were very passionate about their UPC church, or maybe the UPC itself before leaving. When the relationship is broken, the passion finds another way to vent. There truly is a thin line between love and hate.

There are passionate feelings of hurt or abandonment from both sides for a period of time. With time, the passion will disipate. Believe it or not, eventually one will think of the person or church as any other person or church.

[Truly Blessed]

Originally Posted by Pianoman

There are some people that were very passionate about their UPC church, or maybe the UPC itself before leaving. When the relationship is broken, the passion finds another way to vent. There truly is a thin line between love and hate.

There are passionate feelings of hurt or abandonment from both sides for a period of time. With time, the passion will disipate. Believe it or not, eventually one will think of the person or church as any other person or church.

I agree that time is a great healer. When you reach that point where you just can't conscientiously continue in an organization, the parting causes those on both sides to feel abandoned by those they had considered to be their friends. I know we had close friends who felt that we had abandoned them in leaving the UPC. Of course we were feeling hurt that those we had considered our friends simply cut us off. While those friendships have never been fully recovered, we now understand more clearly the dynamic involved and are much more accepting of the reality that our lives have simply taken different directions in life.

[Felicity]

At the time we left I heard from friends and have heard it later since as well that they felt we were abandoning them and they were very upset and very hurt by that.

But I know that those people - many of them - love me still today. I know I still love them even though I was the one who felt abandoned at the time.

Like PM said........it goes both ways.

[StillStanding]

Originally Posted by Truly Blessed

I agree that time is a great healer. When you reach that point where you just can't conscientiously continue in an organization, the parting causes those on both sides to feel abandoned by those they had considered to be their friends. I know we had close friends who felt that we had abandoned them in leaving the UPC. Of course we were feeling hurt that those we had considered our friends simply cut us off. While those friendships have never been fully recovered, we now understand more clearly the dynamic involved and are much more accepting of the reality that our lives have simply taken different directions in life.

Accepting that reality and "letting go" is not an easy thing to do. Those that do are better off! But, there are some that will NEVER let the bitter feelings go! I feel sorry for those people!

[Barb]

Originally Posted by Truly Blessed

I agree that time is a great healer. When you reach that point where you just can't conscientiously continue in an organization, the parting causes those on both sides to feel abandoned by those they had considered to be their friends. I know we had close friends who felt that we had abandoned them in leaving the UPC. Of course we were feeling hurt that those we had considered our friends simply cut us off. While those friendships have never been fully recovered, we now understand more clearly the dynamic involved and are much more accepting of the reality that our lives have simply taken different directions in life.

Do you think they ever will be recovered or can be?!

[Felicity]

Originally Posted by Barb

Do you think they ever will be recovered or can be?!

I just called a PW a few minutes ago ..... someone who used to be a very close friend. They pastor back home. We talked on the phone several weeks back and we hadn't communicated in years.

We've added each other to our Buddy lists and now we can chat back and forth whenever we want.

[Barb]

Originally Posted by Felicity

I just called a PW a few minutes ago ..... someone who used to be a very close friend. They pastor back home.

We've added each other to our Buddy lists and now we can chat back and forth whenever we want.

Now that has made my heart glad...

[Revelationist]

Originally Posted by Coonskinner

Neither is it the UPC most folks see who leave right, and don't have an axe to grind, or a pair of mud colored glasses on.

That's always the opinion of the die hards. I left with a hand shake, and the promise of fellowship. The pastor that I left under has even preached at my church.

I live in a area where even local UPC's treat each other that way...

[Coonskinner]

I left once, and came back.

My friends remained friends both times.