Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)

[ILG]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Hmmm.

So what would qualify it as an addiction, other than...causing arguments?

I'm going to skip right over using it as a drug, because I don't really understand it, and can't really express my initial thoughts about it on here.

Sex should be fun--not just deliberate for a good reason. As long as both husband and wife are happy and fulfilled, I say it is an intimacy builder.

I also think that men do have higher sex drives than women naturally, so it wouldn't be fair to say that they are addicted to sex just because they want it more often. Nor is it fair to say a woman is frigid if she doesn't (want it as often).

The balance is found in couples pleasing one another, and doing what makes BOTH happy--and if that's every night, then I don't call that "addiction."

So...back to my question...what would you call "sexual addiction?"

I am really going to go to bed to sleep after this! I am never up this late!!

I'm not talking about the natural drive differences. If a person does not have respect towards their spouse....in reasonable frequency...in what is done in private....but feels a need to constantly pressure something that is not desired by the other....I would suspecy a sexual addiction. Because this person is not using sex as a means to more intimacy. The sex act is actually causing less intimacy and driving the couple apart.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

I am really going to go to bed to sleep after this! I am never up this late!!

I'm not talking about the natural drive differences. If a person does not have respect towards their spouse....in reasonable frequency...in what is done in private....but feels a need to constantly pressure something that is not desired by the other....I would suspecy a sexual addiction. Because this person is not using sex as a means to more intimacy. The sex act is actually causing less intimacy and driving the couple apart.

Okay, I see what you're saying. When the focus is on the act rather than enhancing the relationship. Right?

[Neck]

Originally Posted by ILG

I am really going to go to bed to sleep after this! I am never up this late!!

I'm not talking about the natural drive differences. If a person does not have respect towards their spouse....in reasonable frequency...in what is done in private....but feels a need to constantly pressure something that is not desired by the other....I would suspecy a sexual addiction. Because this person is not using sex as a means to more intimacy. The sex act is actually causing less intimacy and driving the couple apart.

************************************************** ***

The addictive behavior is a quest for true intimacy.

Intimacy will not be found ever solely in an act.

Intimacy is pure, honest, loving and without selfish motives.

Fullfilment comes in a union of peace, love and unity.

Many pursue the next act to try and restore intimacy and unity.

Intimacy is found in a full relationship before the act, during the act and after the act.

All the talk on this thread about this act, that act, these facts, those facts only avoid the relationship that should exist outside the act.

Move away from the act and look at the motive.

If there is true beauty or poetry in tendor intimacy.

It will not intimidate, frustrate, or denigrate it will illuminate and elevate.

She is not an object to be pandered at my will.

She is the desire of heart, before she is the desire of my desires.

We all have a love story, many have just forgotten that their are 2 characters in the story.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Neck

...She is not an object to be pandered at my will.

She is the desire of heart, before she is the desire of my desires.

Great post, Neck. You've really had some good thoughts on this thread. I especially like the part above.

[Neck]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Great post, Neck. You've really had some good thoughts on this thread. I especially like the part above.

MissBrattified...

Thanks.

If I could have 5 minutes to review a person's credit report.

Or sit in the back seat of a couples car.

I could conclude their relationship with Christ.

How one spends their money or treats the private time with their spouse.

Is the measure of their spiritual realtionshiop with Christ.

I watch some of my friends and how they tear each other apart.

They constantly battle for position.

I was reminded of power, watching George W Bush and Barak Obama walking the outside walkway at the White house the other day.

I played it in slow motion.

At each turn in the walk, Bush moved out in front, then at the next turn Obama moved out in front.

Each step was a step for power.

Just like the little second graders who try and make the door of the bus first.

Then they both try and force their way into the last seat on the bus.

What they don't realize is that the rest of their lives they will look for the parking spot at the front of the line at the mall.

Perspective changes but the pursuit always lingers.

Loving someone and caring about someone is not surrendering.

It is about being at the top of the hill or in the valley together...

[George]

Originally Posted by Neck

MissBrattified...

Thanks.

If I could have 5 minutes to review a person's credit report.

Or sit in the back seat of a couples car.

I could conclude their relationship with Christ.

How one spends their money or treats the private time with their spouse.

Is the measure of their spiritual realtionshiop with Christ.

I watch some of my friends and how they tear each other apart.

They constantly battle for position.

I was reminded of power, watching George W Bush and Barak Obama walking the outside walkway at the White house the other day.

I played it in slow motion.

At each turn in the walk, Bush moved out in front, then at the next turn Obama moved out in front.

Each step was a step for power.

Just like the little second graders who try and make the door of the bus first.

Then they both try and force their way into the last seat on the bus.

What they don't realize is that the rest of their lives they will look for the parking spot at the front of the line at the mall.

Perspective changes but the pursuit always lingers.

Loving someone and caring about someone is not surrendering.

It is about being at the top of the hill or in the valley together...

Yep and you could probably disclose what areas they struggle in their marriage.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Neck

************************************************** ***

The addictive behavior is a quest for true intimacy.

Intimacy will not be found ever solely in an act.

Intimacy is pure, honest, loving and without selfish motives.

Fullfilment comes in a union of peace, love and unity.

Many pursue the next act to try and restore intimacy and unity.

Intimacy is found in a full relationship before the act, during the act and after the act.

All the talk on this thread about this act, that act, these facts, those facts only avoid the relationship that should exist outside the act.

Move away from the act and look at the motive.

If there is true beauty or poetry in tender intimacy.

It will not intimidate, frustrate, or denigrate it will illuminate and elevate.

She is not an object to be pandered at my will.

She is the desire of heart, before she is the desire of my desires.

We all have a love story, many have just forgot that their are 2 characters in the story.

Best post on the thread, Neck!!!!!

[George]

Originally Posted by Neck

************************************************** ***

The addictive behavior is a quest for true intimacy.

Intimacy will not be found ever solely in an act.

Intimacy is pure, honest, loving and without selfish motives.

Fullfilment comes in a union of peace, love and unity.

Many pursue the next act to try and restore intimacy and unity.

Intimacy is found in a full relationship before the act, during the act and after the act.

All the talk on this thread about this act, that act, these facts, those facts only avoid the relationship that should exist outside the act.

Move away from the act and look at the motive.

If there is true beauty or poetry in tendor intimacy.

It will not intimidate, frustrate, or denigrate it will illuminate and elevate.

She is not an object to be pandered at my will.

She is the desire of heart, before she is the desire of my desires.

We all have a love story, many have just forgotten that their are 2 characters in the story.

I am calling my pastor tomorrow and telling him he needs to hire you for all premarital counseling!

WOW! Another excellent post, Neck. So many good lines in this one post! I'm particularly drawn to the last sentence I put in bold print. Too many have strayed from the desire of heart and pursued selfish desires.

[Neck]

Originally Posted by George

I am calling my pastor tomorrow and telling him he needs to hire you for all premarital counseling!

WOW! Another excellent post, Neck. So many good lines in this one post! I'm particularly drawn to the last sentence I put in bold print. Too many have strayed from the desire of heart and pursued selfish desires.

************************************************** *

The interesting thing about my thoughts.

They were not read in Men are from Mars, Woman are from venus.

They have been lived and cherished in my personal relationship with my wife and mother of my children..

I do not define my relationship with my wife or my wife as a battlefield that is summed up by conquest.

It is defined by mutual respect, understanding, forgiveness, and trust.

I remember asking my girlfriend a question.

A question that was asked even before... will you marry me?

I simply asked her... Will you be the mother of my Children?

It was not about marriage where so many view marriage as a contract.

It was asking for a bond that would bring us together for the rest of our lives.

With that as a starting point and not just birthdates in time.

We often find ourselves remembering together that conversation.

I have always taken my wife back to these private and intimate moments.

They put a pure perspective on our busy lives.

We made a committment to each other.

The problem with so many couples they make a committment without building the relationship or safe guards to protect the relationship.

Why do so many people call sex making Love.

Sex does not make love, It expresses Love!

When expressing Love you do not act Love.

Here is a poem that I wrote in 2003.

It has been published....

Scent of Love


There is beauty in the forest;
When the tree's are grown and fare.
There is beauty in the meadows;
When wild flowers scent the air.
There is beauty in the sun-light.
Those Soft blue beams above;
Oh! The world is full of beauty;
When for you my heart is full of Love!


Copyright ©2003 Nathan Alan Eckstadt

[George]

Originally Posted by Neck

************************************************** *

The interesting thing about my thoughts.

They were not read in Men are from Mars, Woman are from venus.

They have been lived and cherished in my personal relationship with my wife and mother of my children..

I do not define my relationship with my wife or my wife as a battlefield that is summed up by conquest.

It is defined by mutual respect, understanding, forgiveness, and trust.

I remember asking my girlfriend a question.

A question that was asked even before... will you marry me?

I simply asked her... Will you be the mother of my Children?

It was not about marriage where so many view marriage as a contract.

It was asking for a bond that would bring us together for the rest of our lives.

With that as a starting point and not just birthdates in time.

We often find ourselves remembering together that conversation.

I have always taken my wife back to these private and intimate moments.

They put a pure perspective on our busy lives.

We made a committment to each other.

The problem with so many couples they make a committment without building the relationship or safe guards to protect the relationship.

Why do so many people call sex making Love.

Sex does not make love, It expresses Love!

When expressing Love you do not act Love.

Here is a poem that I wrote in 2003.

It has been published....

Scent of Love


There is beauty in the forest;
When the tree's are grown and fare.
There is beauty in the meadows;
When wild flowers scent the air.
There is beauty in the sun-light.
Those Soft blue beams above;
Oh! The world is full of beauty;
When for you my heart is full of Love!


Copyright ©2003 Nathan Alan Eckstadt

Great poem! Awesome post.