Thank you Felicity. I believe that too. Yes, I have issues, lots of them! And I avoided dealing with them for a very very long time. They started to surface when I originally found FCF, some of you might remember that. And then, I got tired of the dealing with it. I thought if I could just squish myself back into the same mindset that I had when I was first saved. When I believed everything I was told, and did everything I was told, and didn't question anything. Well, then I would be happy and comfortable again.
Guess how well that worked? I really tried, but I couldn't silence the questions or the doubts. It was on New Year's day when it came to a head. I was sitting on my bed, with my Bible, just kinda thumbing through. And of a sudden all the questions, all the apparent contradictions all the things that didn't make sense came boiling to the surface. And I just started to cry and said "God, I really don't think its supposed to be so hard! Why do we make it so hard? Nothing makes sense anymore and I can't stand it!"
And I prayed for a while I had a realization. I didn't care about standards, I didn't care about church or its programs, or tithing, or the role of women, or even doctrine. Because all of that junk had completely clouded my view of Jesus, and I didn't even know who he was anymore. Was he the harsh judge that was just waiting for me to show I wasn't "holy" enough so he could smite me? Was he the one that demanded absolute perfection? The one for whom nothing was ever enough?
At that moment, I made a New year's resolution, that the rest of that stuff could go in the garbage for all I cared. All I wanted to know is "Who is Jesus?"
So for right now, Yes, I do think that the rest of that stuff is unimportant. All that matters is my quest to find out Who He is. After that...well...who knows...
It's kind of like getting born again, AGAIN!
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"Those who go after the "Sauls" among us often slay the Davids among us." Gene Edwards
Ok Mich... I'm sitting here crying at my desk... it's all your fault..
The Lord gave me this back a few years ago:
Psa 27:7 Hear, O LORD, [when] I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. Psa 27:8[When thou saidst], Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. Psa 27:9 Hide not thy face [far] from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. Psa 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. Psa 27:11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Psa 27:12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. Psa 27:13 [I had fainted], unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Psa 27:14Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD
One of my favorite passages of Scripture.
Verse 8 ....... "When Thou saidst, "Seek My face, my heart said unto Thee, Thy face Lord will I seek!" ..... was the scripture I used for our Bible School yearbook my first year there.
Every single scripture in that passage has been made real to me in some way at some time in my life. I can mark each of those....... "tried and proven"!
__________________ Smiles & Blessings.... ~Felicity Welsh~ (surname courtesy of Jim Yohe)
Ok Mich... I'm sitting here crying at my desk... it's all your fault..
The Lord gave me this back a few years ago:
Psa 27:7 Hear, O LORD, [when] I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. Psa 27:8[When thou saidst], Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. Psa 27:9 Hide not thy face [far] from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. Psa 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. Psa 27:11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Psa 27:12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. Psa 27:13 [I had fainted], unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Psa 27:14Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD
I'm sorry I made you cry!
That is an awesome scripture (though honestly, I have to go read it in a different version )
Heb 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.
Another way of saying: Have confidence in those that are in leadership in your life and surrender yourself to their leadership because of your confidence and trust in those leaders.
Obedience w/o confidence is of little value.
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---> Your Lack of Understanding is Your Own Fault <---
I am no Job, and I have no desire to even try to be. To be perfectly honest, I hate it when people do the old "someone has it worse" than you bit. What that basically says to me is that my suffering is unimportant.
Please don't get the wrong idea, I am not one to go around constantly whining about my sucky life. In fact, the forum, and 2 close friends, are it. I don't discuss it at work or at church.
I was thinking more about what you said and how I responded. The truth is, when I truly believe something to be God's will, i.e. he tells me to do something, I do it, because I believe that he knows best. So I guess it would be fair to say that I trust his knoweldge or sovereignty. However, when it comes down to it...well....you know how you can love someone, but not like them?
Michlow, the above highlighted reminded me of the theme song of the broadway musical, "Avenue Q"!
"It Sucks to be Me!" J/K
We love you around here, girl!
__________________ Words: For when an emoticon just isn't enough.
Psa 27:7 Hear me, O Lord, when I cry out! Have mercy on me and answer me! Psa 27:8 My heart tells me to pray to you, and I do pray to you, O Lord. Psa 27:9 Do not reject me! Do not push your servant away in anger! You are my deliverer! Do not forsake or abandon me, O God who vindicates me! Psa 27:10 Even if my father and mother abandoned me, the Lord would take me in. Psa 27:11 Teach me how you want me to live; lead me along a level path because of those who wait to ambush me! Psa 27:12 Do not turn me over to my enemies, for false witnesses who want to destroy me testify against me. Psa 27:13 Where would I be if I did not believe I would experience the Lord's favor in the land of the living? Psa 27:14 Rely on the Lord! Be strong and confident! Rely on the Lord!
It's true, I feel very much like this is all brand new. Except as a New Convert, I believed everything I was told, and now I believe just about nothing!
I have said though, that I am like a spiritual teenager, I have been "raised" and taught many things, and now I need to decide to either make it my own, or find what's real.
That is an awesome scripture (though honestly, I have to go read it in a different version )
I needed a good cry... And your experience is one that I think all those that truly want Him and not just religion go through. The cry wells up from the Spirit and you ache. You can hardly explain to others what you are feeling and when you try it's like you are speaking in another language. You get misunderstood as being rebellious because you need to find Him for yourself. Sometimes it seems impossible that you will make it through but down deep you believe it otherwise you wouldn't be on this path.
I think MOW is right... it's almost like being born again again... but you are not finding out "what " is real ... you are finding out "who" is real.
How about this version?
7 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, “Seek his* face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. (*Or To you, O my heart, he has said, “Seek my)
9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper.Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,the Lord will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, O Lord;lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,for false witnesses rise up against me,breathing out violence.
13 I am still confident of this:I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
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------------- It's ALL good!!!
James 2
12 So whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free. 13 For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful, then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you.
Personally if someone ordered me to do something I'd probably say "excuse me?" with an attitude, yes even to my pastor lol....
now if you ask me to do something I'd probably gladly do it and respect you even more.
I suspect if I had a pastor that ordered me around, I might find myself looking for a new pastor....except where I have put men in my life who have permission to jerk me up short when I need it...
When those men do so, I am thankfull...
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
It's ALL good!!!
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