Living Arrangements

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Only my ex-love [r's] know for sure

And for clarity, these are your ex husband(s) since you do not believe in pre-marital stuff?

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

And for clarity, these are your ex husband(s) since you do not believe in pre-marital stuff?

No, ex-lovers could be any platonic friend who was male who liked nuzzling her neck on the couch and touching and kissing. No sex necessary or implied.

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

No, ex-lovers could be any platonic friend who was male who liked nuzzling her neck on the couch and touching and kissing. No sex necessary or implied.

My horse nuzzles my neck.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

My horse nuzzles my neck.

You owe that horse a slap!!!!

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

You owe that horse a slap!!!!

I like it but not because I'm turned on.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

Yes, but women should not be allowed out of the house because men look and then things happen to them even if you are covered from head to toe. They rape women in Burkha countries who show and ankle and it's the fault of the stupid women who should have kept covered. We are way too ommidest here, even us Amish. An arm around the back during a movie on a couch is WAY too much for any man. They are simply too weak.

I know you're being facetious, but surely you don't think I feel that men are too weak to be moral? Do you agree that we shouldn't lead men on? Not because I will be at fault if he misbehaves, but because it is disingenuous and inconsiderate on MY part.

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

I like it but not because I'm turned on.

Obviously I understand the concept of nonsexual affection, Emma. Rhoni is talking about a man she is presumably attracted to and/or in love with (HER definition of "lover"), so I would reasonably assume that neck nuzzling is or could easily become sexual.

In that respect, I think it unfair to play sexually with a man, call it "cuddling", and then act like he's at fault if he gets turned on. Understanding of course, that what is "affectionate" for a woman can be "sexual" for a man.

Aren't these rudimentary concepts?

[ILG]

I know you're being facetious, but surely you don't think I feel that men are too weak to be moral? Do you agree that we shouldn't lead men on? Not because I will be at fault if he misbehaves, but because it is disingenuous and inconsiderate on MY part.

I think perhaps the man in a given relationship needs to draw the lines at what he is comfortable with and the woman should not cross these boundaries. This may be a different line in different relationships. I think it is too narrow a statement to say that any woman in any pre-marriage relationship should never allow a man to put his arm around her on a couch watching a movie because he is too sexual and can't take it.

Obviously I understand the concept of nonsexual affection, Emma. Rhoni is talking about a man she is presumably attracted to and/or in love with (HER definition of "lover"), so I would reasonably assume that neck nuzzling is or could easily become sexual.

In that respect, I think it unfair to play sexually with a man, call it "cuddling", and then act like he's at fault if he gets turned on. Understanding of course, that what is "affectionate" for a woman can be "sexual" for a man.

Aren't these rudimentary concepts?

They are pretty rudimentary with the exception of the fact that I find too much blame placed on women for being a "tease" and not enough responsibility on men to control themselves and draw boundary lines. If women know men are sexual and shouldn't be a "tease", men also know women can be affectionate without meaning to be sexual and don't always intend to "tease". This is also rudimentary knowledge. Perhaps I am looking for a better balanced approach for both men and women. If Rhoni finds herself a guy who wants to sit with his arm around her on a couch before marriage and he thinks he can handle that, that's his business and Rhoni's. I'm not going to over-sexualize that. On the flip-side, for young people and teens, warnings need to be sounded. Don't do what you can't handle.