Is the YELLING necessary @ a funeral

[commonsense]

The church my parents attended for 60 years had evolved into funerals being a chance to "preach the truth" and hellfire.

Knowing this, my children did not want my mom's funeral in that church.

It was against the "norm" but we did the funeral ourselves. It was held in the funeral chapel and we did it to honor and bless my mother.
The grandchildren did the music and one daughters' husband handled the leadership tasks ( he was an ex-priest).

We had a very nice program.

The local pastor was included and spoke, but was not in charge. (he wasn't pleased)

Co-workers of my brother said it was the nicest funeral they had ever attended.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by commonsense

The church my parents attended for 60 years had evolved into funerals being a chance to "preach the truth" and hellfire.

Knowing this, my children did not want my mom's funeral in that church.

It was against the "norm" but we did the funeral ourselves. It was held in the funeral chapel and we did it to honor and bless my mother.
The grandchildren did the music and one daughters' husband handled the leadership tasks ( he was an ex-priest).

We had a very nice program.

The local pastor was included and spoke, but was not in charge. (he wasn't pleased)

Co-workers of my brother said it was the nicest funeral they had ever attended.

When my grandpa died we did something similar. We held the "service" at the local funeral home and my dad led it. Really just a few songs and a few stories followed by a prayer or two, then the short service by the plot, and it was done.

[SOUNWORTHY]

I've been to funerals that went on for two or three hours because so many people had so much to say about the deceased. I told my family when the time comes to just get it over with, if people can't say nice things about me so I can enjoy it don't say them when I'm gone.

[crakjak]

There is not a cure for stupid, what else can be said? God is not the author of confusion, and those forced conversions last until the grave is closed.

Hosea prophesied, "...dry breasts and miscarrying wombs will I give them..." There is no true life in such confusion, no ability to nourish the newborns that do survive the birth, they die of malnutrition.

[*AQuietPlace*]

I don't really care for the entire custom of funerals myself. I think they are tortuous. Especially when it's someone close to me. It sometimes feels like your grief is being put on parade for everyone to see.

I would prefer to have the traditional Family Night visitation at the funeral home.... and let that be a celebration of my life. Pictures, slide-show, scrapbooks, etc. Then a very short graveside ceremony. And that's it.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by *AQuietPlace*

I don't really care for the entire custom of funerals myself. I think they are tortuous. Especially when it's someone close to me. It sometimes feels like your grief is being put on parade for everyone to see.

I would prefer to have the traditional Family Night visitation at the funeral home.... and let that be a celebration of my life. Pictures, slide-show, scrapbooks, etc. Then a very short graveside ceremony. And that's it.

You and your family should agree to what you desire, custom should not rule.

A good friends father recently died, they had a private open casket for immediate family. Then a family night, and then a service with the grandkids speaking, two former pastors spoke all this with closed casket. No graveside service at all, instead they invited all the friends and family to the home for a catered lunch, and fellowship.

So do it your way, man!! The loved one should direct the content, not the church or pastor.

[*AQuietPlace*]

Originally Posted by crakjak

So do it your way

Oh, I will.

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by *AQuietPlace*

I don't really care for the entire custom of funerals myself. I think they are tortuous. Especially when it's someone close to me. It sometimes feels like your grief is being put on parade for everyone to see.

I would prefer to have the traditional Family Night visitation at the funeral home.... and let that be a celebration of my life. Pictures, slide-show, scrapbooks, etc. Then a very short graveside ceremony. And that's it.

This has what we have done in my dad's family (great-grandparents) but we also had a regular funeral services at the church for my mom's parent's. They were all done in order with a lot of dignity, so either way was fine.

But for myself, I am not a big fan of needing to turn it into a religious event. I think memorials are great, a celebration of the person life! Not to leave God out of it of course, but I fail to see the need for a sermon, personally.

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

This has what we have done in my dad's family (great-grandparents) but we also had a regular funeral services at the church for my mom's parent's. They were all done in order with a lot of dignity, so either way was fine.

But for myself, I am not a big fan of needing to turn it into a religious event. I think memorials are great, a celebration of the person life! Not to leave God out of it of course, but I fail to see the need for a sermon, personally.

I did my grandfathers funeral, qouted more Louis L'amour than Bible, it was about who he was. He loved Louis L'amour and hunting and fishing.

[*AQuietPlace*]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

I did my grandfathers funeral, qouted more Louis L'amour than Bible, it was about who he was. He loved Louis L'amour and hunting and fishing.

I think a funeral should be a celebration of who a person was. Of course, if you're a Christian, God is going to be a big part of who you were. But your faith should be used as an uplifting thing at a funeral, not something to beat other people over the head with.

If our lives haven't "preached" enough, a final sermon at a funeral isn't going to make much difference.