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11-09-2010, 06:27 AM
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Re: Can church be bad for your health?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nahkoe
But isn't it obvious!? People don't really get hurt in churches by Christians. Churchy people are perfect. If anyone gets all upset, it's obviously just an overreaction on their part and a perfect misunderstanding.  |
Great point. I've noticed that abusive religion will typically blame the victim. The issue is that a leader must realize, it doens't matter who's right or wrong... the party who experienced or perceives to have experienced a serious wrong is living a reality. A wise pastor once told me, "Chris, perception is reality. It's real to them. You have to start there." I think a lot of abuse and hurt is perpetuated with the "Get over it.", or the, "Maybe if YOU weren't so sensitive.", or, "You're not in the Spirit.", kind of arguments. Even if a person wasn't truly wronged, they perceive it. You have to address that and mediate the problem for all parties invovled.
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11-09-2010, 07:23 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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Re: Can church be bad for your health?
I was talking to someone about old church issues the other day and I still feel guilty for talking about it. It gets so drilled in that it's wrong to talk about (especially by people who deny there are any issues and call hurting people whiners) that I know it will be a huge milestone for me when I can talk about these issues without feeling like I am doing something wrong. My head totally knows that there is nothing wrong with it, but my emotions don't get it quite yet.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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11-09-2010, 07:27 AM
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Mama to four little angels.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,053
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Re: Can church be bad for your health?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ILG
I was talking to someone about old church issues the other day and I still feel guilty for talking about it. It gets so drilled in that it's wrong to talk about (especially by people who deny there are any issues and call hurting people whiners) that I know it will be a huge milestone for me when I can talk about these issues without feeling like I am doing something wrong. My head totally knows that there is nothing wrong with it, but my emotions don't get it quite yet.
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 I get this.
__________________
You become free from who you have become, by becoming who you were meant to be. ~Mark from another forum I post on
God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. ~Romans 3:24 from The Message
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11-09-2010, 07:29 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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Re: Can church be bad for your health?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nahkoe
I get this. |
That hug gave me tears in my eyes.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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11-09-2010, 01:47 PM
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Go Dodgers!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 45,794
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Re: Can church be bad for your health?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nahkoe
I get this. |
Quote:
Originally Posted by ILG
That hug gave me tears in my eyes.
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Oh come on! Please stop it...*sniff*...this is better than watching Oprah 
__________________
Let it be understood that Apostolic Friends Forum is an Apostolic Forum.
Apostolic is defined on AFF as:
- There is One God. This one God reveals Himself distinctly as Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
- The Son is God himself in a human form or "God manifested in the flesh" (1Tim 3:16)
- Every sinner must repent of their sins.
- That Jesus name baptism is the only biblical mode of water baptism.
- That the Holy Ghost is for today and is received by faith with the initial evidence of speaking in tongues.
- The saint will go on to strive to live a holy life, pleasing to God.
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11-09-2010, 01:51 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 31,124
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Re: Can church be bad for your health?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praxeas
Oh come on! Please stop it...*sniff*...this is better than watching Oprah |
lol
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11-09-2010, 07:24 AM
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Mama to four little angels.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,053
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Re: Can church be bad for your health?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquila
Great point. I've noticed that abusive religion will typically blame the victim. The issue is that a leader must realize, it doens't matter who's right or wrong... the party who experienced or perceives to have experienced a serious wrong is living a reality. A wise pastor once told me, "Chris, perception is reality. It's real to them. You have to start there." I think a lot of abuse and hurt is perpetuated with the "Get over it.", or the, "Maybe if YOU weren't so sensitive.", or, "You're not in the Spirit.", kind of arguments. Even if a person wasn't truly wronged, they perceive it. You have to address that and mediate the problem for all parties invovled.
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Exactly. Perception is reality. Even when I allow for the fact that my perception isn't the whole story, and I really am rational enough to allow for that and unintentional misunderstandings, I have still been hurt. Nothing is going to change that, and I'm left to deal with the feelings and consequences.
__________________
You become free from who you have become, by becoming who you were meant to be. ~Mark from another forum I post on
God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. ~Romans 3:24 from The Message
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11-09-2010, 07:28 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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Re: Can church be bad for your health?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nahkoe
Exactly. Perception is reality. Even when I allow for the fact that my perception isn't the whole story, and I really am rational enough to allow for that and unintentional misunderstandings, I have still been hurt. Nothing is going to change that, and I'm left to deal with the feelings and consequences.
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The people who blame the victim and say people who talk are whiners are a roadblock to healing that must be overcome in addition to the original pain.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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