Once long ago, when I was filling in for a preacher in a VERY small church, my entire sermon consisted of "Welcome to _____ UPC. I would like to talk to you today about choosing who you will serve"
*insert famous Joshua scripture here*
Me - "Let's all pray"
LOL
They weren't even done counting the offering - everyone just sat there looking at me.
Good times.
Not standing and cheering?
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Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty
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