Why do discussions about
1 Cor 11 give me the hives and make my stomach turn?
I'd start with this piece of consideration for ANY epistle. We are eavesdropping into one side of a letter, where (most often) Paul is correcting something happening in the community (time of worship, of in general). Does it sound like, or is it congruent with history, that Paul is dealing with an issue of women cutting their hair?
The concept of modesty has much to do with general society (the world). It's general society that helps define things culturally, it gives them meaning, etc... At some point, general society saw men wearing britches. At some point, women wearing their own type of britches. Some cultures still wear head coverings. Some shake hands with the right, some would find it offensive to shake with the right hand. Some cultures find it offensive for a woman to show her ankles. Some cultures bow when they greet someone, others they kiss, and still others they offer a hand. The church was instructed toward modesty (appropriateness) and was admonished to faithfully represent the Graciousness of God that has been made known to us. We do that, not by bidding a culture war, but by making peace with all men -- and if there be any "culture war" it has far more to do with debunking worldly thinking (rejecting social/economic systems as ways to value others, rejecting hatred, rejecting jealousy, wrath, caring for the poor, living honorable lives --- which means, valuing one's body, not giving it to multiple sexual partners, honoring the partner God has provided, or honoring one's own body until such a time as God provides, not living a life as a drunkard, but kept together, sober, vigilant, always seeking that which is good, right and lovely.... yes, that was the longest run-on sentence ever.. the end.)