I was baptized when I was almost 16. I'd wanted to be baptized for years, but Mom wouldn't allow it because she believed I was still a child (stating she only believed in ADULT baptism, emphasis hers). She also thought I was just following a fad or getting baptized because "everyone else is doing it". She had no clue what God was doing in my life, and with the limited teaching we got at the church we were raised in, I had no way of putting it into words.
When I left for college, I wound up in a Pentecostal church. I loved the church--the people were friendly and encouraging, there was teaching beyond basic Bible stories (I'd never had that), there were activities throughout the week (I'd never had that either), and I felt I could feel God more in their services. (Looking back, I think a lot of what I felt was excitement, not God, per se.)
I was taken through Into His Marvelous Light and didn't get it. I didn't understand about receiving the Holy Ghost meaning that we had to seek the Holy Ghost--as a matter of fact at the end of the Bible study I was asked if I wanted the Holy Ghost, and my response was "Um, not right now!" I thought they were going to pray for me and I'd immediately receive what they were talking about, and I wanted to study it out first. Oneness and Jesus' name baptism also confused me, especially regarding Mt 28:19 and
Acts 2:38 in baptism. My question was: If we are to be baptized in Jesus' name, and Jesus is the name of the Father, the name of the Son, and the name of the Holy Ghost, then what difference does it make which formula is used? They both mean the same thing, after all! I couldn't understand why Pentecostals couldn't see that; it made sense to me!
Several times in the next couple weeks someone would ask if I wanted to be rebaptized or tell me I should be. I looked up Jesus' name baptism in some of the college library's books, and read in one or two that early churches baptized in Jesus' name. I also looked up
Acts 2:38 in every Romance language of the Bible that the library had (there were several). I couldn't read the verse in every language, but I could recognize the name of Jesus. I decided I wanted to be rebaptized at that point.
Mom was furious that I would be rebaptized. She felt by being rebaptized that I might be condemned to Hell. I think Mom and Dad also felt I was rejecting their salvation, which I wasn't. At no point did I think that I had not been saved when I was 9.
I wonder sometimes if I made the decision based so much on what I truly studied in my limited way, or if I was simply looking for a confirmation of what my new friends were saying so that I could be more a part of them. I don't know that I'll ever have the answer to that.
Threaded Mode
