Tithing, Mandate for the New Testament Church?

[Bella1]

I TOTALLY believe in paying tithes. But because of what money I do bring home, the bills that I pay, I can barely buy groceries and buy gas to get back and forth to church, work, home. (I actually have a gas credit card from my sister that tides me over each month if I need it and then I repay her). So since my separation from my husband almost three years ago, I do not pay tithes.

And I go to a church that has commitment papers. If you are on platform, ect...you sign these papers and one of the qualifications of ministry is that you pay tithes. Do I agree with that? No. BUT...I am committed to go there for the next little while until I find out where I will be living. So I don't minister in that church like I would elsewhere.

I am not unhappy at that church. I get good preaching, good teaching, and I love the pastor and family. I would NEVER say or do anything that would upset or hurt them. I feel that I have not been blessed by the Lord for Three years due to not paying tithes. And I miss those blessing. When I can, I give with gladness.

BUT tithing is a HUGE issue for me right now. I can't do it. Or I would not eat or I would not be able to get to work. People tell me all the time to "Trust the Lord". I do. But I also have gone without food in my pantry for several weeks. I ate at a friends house. Yes, the Lord did provide, but.....

It does make me sad that I can't sing specials or be in the choir. That is my ministry. That is my gift. That is my heartbeat. If tithing holds me back from doing what I think God has given me, I will not complain.

And please don't preacher bash or church bash. Most of us were brought up and taught to pay tithing. It is a way of life to me. But when you CAN'T pay them, guilt sets in.

My pastor is on this site. He will most likely read this post. You know that I love you Pastor. I just wish things could be so different in my life.