On January 23, 2000 I attended my first UPC church, that evening I was baptized in Jesus name, three weeks later I received the Baptism of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues, at least according to the doctrine of the UPC. It is undeniable that God has done an awesome saving work in my life, since I was not raised in church and lived an vile, dishonest, and exceedingly ungodly life prior to my conversion. It has been 11 years now, and I have no less desire to live for God, if anything I have actually become MORE conservative, though I have wholly rejected legalism.
Just over a year ago I publicly stated I believed in justification by faith and that tongues were not necesssary for salvation. Of course I have been written off not just by the church I attended and preached in, but by many of my former church friends/acqaintances. I've gone charismatic, liberal, and taken a ride on the slippery slope. I struggle to understand this, however since my relationship with God grows stronger, the time I spend in prayer and study has increased, and my desire to see the emphasis put back on the Lordship of Jesus Christ and the suffiency of the Scriptures (against experiences, blessings, organizational affirmation, and even cultural ralativism) has grown by leaps and bounds. Yet I'm charismatic, I'm liberal, and yes, even backslidden.
So then as the slippery slope goes, (Is it the slippery slope, or is it the result of investing oneself in the study of the Word and earnest prayer before God~let the argument begin....) I think its time to make a clean break from the pentecostal culture all together. I do not want more worldliness, in fact I want more godliness, more holiness, more righteousness. I don't want to turn a blind eye to sin, or allow the culture to convert me. I have 3,000+ posts, anyone can read a sampling of them to see my desire is to get closer to God, not further from Him. I want to live a life for God. I am so very thankful for the 11 years, there have been a lot of good times, and I have met some great people, many of whom I believe will be in heaven, regardless of some theological differences. Even to those who spoke evil of me, or angrily, or behind my back, I wish them well. Not only do I wish them well, I hope they are blessed, and their churches blessed, I believe they are good people, just misguided, and frankly scared into thinking that if they actually considered something other than oneness pentecostalism (and all its trappings) they would end up rebrobate.
I'm not walking out, but seeing how this is Apostolic Friends Forum, I will probably make my self scarce pretty soon. I have enjoyed posting on AFF above all other forums, and I think that there are many people here who are top notch. I have a special respect for Stephen Hoover the way he handles himself on this board as an owner/admin is admirable. Miss Brattified is filled with uncommon common sense, Digging4Truth always a favorite poster of mine, Sister Alvear a sincere and godly woman whose posts challenge us to consider our priorities in life. There are so many other posters who are a breath of fresh air, or at the very least easy to dialouge with. Lots of good folk here, so I just wanted to post not with a "goodbye cruel AFF world" or "delete my account" in fact I don't want my account deleted because I will still check in from time to time. I'm not leaving angry, its just time to turn the page.
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