Would You Ever Challenge Your Pastor?

[Rudy]

Originally Posted by shag

Oftimes No, and that's part of why they were handpicked by the pastor to begin with. I was on the board a couple years, meetings one time a year to discuss a few things like concerning church finance/business like house rentals and shopping center stores owned by the church. Only purpose for having it was to be able to say it existed, IMO. Buncha yes sir men that had hardly anything to say at all, especially if it was anything conflicting with the mindset of the pastor.( I realize of course, it's nit that way everywhere.) I decided I wanted no part of that, and just baled. The yearly gift of a pocket knife or something, was not worth the guilt I had for being part it . Some of those guys set thru years of entire (only annual) meetings without saying a word at all, unless called on for an opinion, and then some of them wouldn't say anything yay or nay. Is that the revs fault? He put'm there, not the church, they should've been elected by the church annuallly at the least anyway, IMO.

Yea, I'm sure that happens.

[Rudy]

Originally Posted by Scott Hutchinson

This does bring up something that exists in alot of churches where the saints are afraid to question what they are taught,those in leadership or oversight positions should not mind explaining what they teach to those who inquire about it,because if one has a handle on what they teach and preach they should not mind explaining it according to the scripture.

Sounds good Bro. But we know much is riding on peer pressure from the Org. Truth has little to do with peer pressure and tradition.

[Jay]

My pastor has always been open to people asking him questions. He has always said that if he did not have an answer right away, make an appointment, and he would have your answer for you. 99 percent of the issue is the way that one approaches the pastor with a question, difficulty, or problem.

[Sabby]

Originally Posted by CC1

Whatever method one uses in "challenging" a pastor I think the spirit, attitude, and motives of the one doing the challenging are key.

If one is confronting their pastor, or anyone for that matter, out of a sense of superiority or to cause conflict intentionally then they are just wrong.

If one approaches the matter with meekness, sincerity, and in love then they can be assured that whatever the response they will not be at fault.

Great post CC1.

It depends upon your standing (also known as pecking order) in the local church.
Some examples: Are you a seasoned saint that the pastor trusts? Are you a hard-charging newly-minted Bible college graduate? A new convert?
Do you exude sincerity or superiority? Do you demonstrate a meek spirit or combative spirit?
Those examples don't even address the severity/non-severity of the false doctrine nor the spirit of the pastor. Correcting it is not as easy as it sounds.
In most of the cases (jmo) the best thing a child of God can do is leave without having to or NEEDING to explain themselves.

[Sabby]

Originally Posted by Jay

My pastor has always been open to people asking him questions. He has always said that if he did not have an answer right away, make an appointment, and he would have your answer for you. 99 percent of the issue is the way that one approaches the pastor with a question, difficulty, or problem.

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by Sabby

Great post CC1.

In most of the cases (jmo) the best thing a child of God can do is leave without having to or NEEDING to explain themselves.

I know many people who did just that. Nobody knew why they left...so they made up their own reasons.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by Dante

Assume you are listening to your pastor preach, and then suddenly he makes a statement that you believe is contrary to the actual meaning of scripture (though he uses scripture to justify his position and you have scripture to justify the position you have, which is completely opposite of his/hers). You may be just as well informed of a position in which your pastor is taking a completely opposite stand on, but you feel he is in error.

1. Do you politely schedule a meeting with the pastor and discuss the disagreement over the teaching and try to come to a mutual understanding without trying to convert one another to each others' position?

2. Do you ignore it, and let it go, and pray that God would correct him/her assuming you yourself are not the one truly in error?

3. Do you leave the church without any explanation, because you can't believe that someone would be so ignorant as to make non-biblical remarks from the pulpit?

4. Or option #4 (fill in the blank how you would hand it if the aforementioned options are not feasible to you)

Wow, this is really a great question, and a great topic! Many wouldn't even approach the subject, but you've laid out some very viable options.

As a former pastor, I would want someone to come to me if they disagreed. There are few things I hate worse, even now that I'm in the secular corporate world, than having to try and read someone's mind and figure out why they are upset.

I would appreciate a private meeting where this person laid out their reasons and we could discuss logically. At the end of the meeting, I may still maintain my position, but would completely understand if the other person decided he or she needed to move on. OR, I may see their point, realize I was in error and correct my own position.

Either way, relationship was built, and by demonstrating this type of behavior, I would make it easy for people to come to me in the future, not create the perception that I was unapproachable.

Believe it or not, this happens in the corporate world, as well. The team of people that I manage know two things about me - I will praise them publicly and correct them privately; and that I am approachable about anything. I may not always see it their way, but I show them the respect of hearing and considering their opinion.

The good thing is, many times they are right, and we alter our course - and in the process, build a great strong team.

So, to answer your question - whether I was the pastor or the member, I would still answer the same - let's talk about it!

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by Rudy

Sounds good Bro. But we know much is riding on peer pressure from the Org. Truth has little to do with peer pressure and tradition.

Wow, you have said a mouthful here!

[jfrog]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

Wow, this is really a great question, and a great topic! Many wouldn't even approach the subject, but you've laid out some very viable options.

As a former pastor, I would want someone to come to me if they disagreed. There are few things I hate worse, even now that I'm in the secular corporate world, than having to try and read someone's mind and figure out why they are upset.

I would appreciate a private meeting where this person laid out their reasons and we could discuss logically. At the end of the meeting, I may still maintain my position, but would completely understand if the other person decided he or she needed to move on. OR, I may see their point, realize I was in error and correct my own position.

Either way, relationship was built, and by demonstrating this type of behavior, I would make it easy for people to come to me in the future, not create the perception that I was unapproachable.

Believe it or not, this happens in the corporate world, as well. The team of people that I manage know two things about me - I will praise them publicly and correct them privately; and that I am approachable about anything. I may not always see it their way, but I show them the respect of hearing and considering their opinion.

The good thing is, many times they are right, and we alter our course - and in the process, build a great strong team.

So, to answer your question - whether I was the pastor or the member, I would still answer the same - let's talk about it!

Now that I can respect!

[Jay]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

As a former pastor, I would want someone to come to me if they disagreed. There are few things I hate worse, even now that I'm in the secular corporate world, than having to try and read someone's mind and figure out why they are upset.

I would appreciate a private meeting where this person laid out their reasons and we could discuss logically. At the end of the meeting, I may still maintain my position, but would completely understand if the other person decided he or she needed to move on. OR, I may see their point, realize I was in error and correct my own position.

Either way, relationship was built, and by demonstrating this type of behavior, I would make it easy for people to come to me in the future, not create the perception that I was unapproachable.

Being the son of a pastor, I can say what has frustrates the pastor and his wife more than almost anything else, are people who are unhappy, but act as if the pastor should know by osmosis what the problem is and fix it. And if the unhappy people are told to talk to the pastor, often they respod that it would not make a difference anyway. That is nothing more than a lying excuse to justify their pride and justify their hurt feelings. The fact is that most pastors are willing, able, and ready to hear what their saints are feeling and thinking.

Many times, people attempt to approach the pastor at the wrong time or in the wrong way (I have been guilty of this, and we both confessed it to each other and resolved the issue). Do not approach the pastor with it after he has just preached his guts out and is exhausted. Nor approach him if he has a lot going on at that point. The best thing to do is make an appointment to see him, and treat him the way you might if you were approaching your employer (I am talking about using a respectful tone, gestures, etc.). Be sensitive, you do not know what he might be dealing with. If he has reactions that are out of character for him, extend him grace and realize that he is under a great amount of pressure (he may be bivocational and be working shifts that do not allow him much rest, he must be prepared to preach every service, he is often doing much of the maintenance around the church, he has to deal with every member of the congregation, and maintain a relationship with his wife and family, and you never know what else may be happening behind the scenes).


To put it simply, be sweet to your pastor. He probably could use it.