So Much Hurt On This Forum

[Amanah]

ILG, I'm so sorry you went thru this, I can't even imagine how you must feel
hugs and flowers and prayers that God will heal your pain my friend

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Amanah

ILG, I'm so sorry you went thru this, I can't even imagine how you must feel

Thanks, Amanah. I am just now, many years after the fact, starting to be able to talk about it a bit more.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Chateau d'If

I find Steve Epley's responses ironic.

I doubt he believes crime should go unpunished. If robbed, he would ask for restitution. If shot, he would ask that the shooter be prosecuted. If a family member was raped, he would want the rapist punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Yet, when members of his own movement hurt people, the hurting are told to find their own healing, and to expect no apology nor restitution.

I find the duplicity remarkably hypocritical.

Originally Posted by ILG

Wanting to be healed and wanting "comeuppance" are two different things. Not everyone who wants healing wants someone to "pay".

I agree, not everyone wanting healing wants a comeuppance. I was specifically speaking to Chateau d'If comments.

We probably all come from different perspectives and experiences, but I've never in the 27 years that I've lived for God had Him not take care of me in any trial or stressful situation that I found myself in OR brought upon myself.

I would really love to bring some of this up, but since I am on a journey with God, I feel that I would be criticizing God for the very things that, in the end, made me stronger, opened my eyes to His Word, and taught me to trust His love and His care.

Through one incident, He taught me the word "praise." I studied the word most of the day and that night, in service, the visiting evangelist said, "I had a message, but God changed that 15 minutes before this service and tonight, I am going to preach on the word "praise." One definition that will always be with me - "Yada" - lifting up of the hands. It's like saying, "Pick me up daddy."

When I read this type of thread, I keep thinking that I am re-reading posts from FCF. I couldn't imagine speaking of the same things over and over and over.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I would really love to bring some of this up, but since I am on a journey with God, I feel that I would be criticizing God for the very things that, in the end, made me stronger, opened my eyes to His Word, and taught me to trust His love and His care.

Through one incident, He taught me the word "praise." I studied the word most of the day and that night, in service, the visiting evangelist said, "I had a message, but God changed that 15 minutes before this service and tonight, I am going to preach on the word "praise." One definition that will always be with me - "Yada" - lifting up of the hands. It's like saying, "Pick me up daddy."

When I read this type of thread, I keep thinking that I am re-reading posts from FCF. I couldn't imagine speaking of the same things over and over and over.

I don't think God makes people be abused so He can teach them things.

What do you feel you are rereading from FCF? What things do you feel people are speaking of over and over again? Has no one been abused since FCF so the subject never need be brought up again? As for me personally, healing is a journey and I never spoke of the things I was going through at the time on FCF (if you were referring to me). Back then I was wrangling through standards and what had happened in my first 10 years in the church WHILE I was living through the lawsuit and never breathing a word of it anywhere.

[Pressing-On]

This is an excellent post from days gone by. Found it at the end of this thread.

Originally Posted by BoredOutOfMyMind

Reposted with permission of the Author.

HURT OF THE HEART

Jesus in this verse said for us not to let our hearts be troubled, He also stated that He would be our comforter and never leave us if we would just trust him.

The panic I face a lot of the times in determining the level of relationship is does she really like me, does she at least tolerate me? Is this the will of God, Does he approve? Is this to stay a friendship? What do I do? I so often in listening to myself can talk me out of a blessing or in the midst of an argument, miss the voice and guidance of God in determining the direction of my life.

Ecclesiastes 8:5 (New King James Version) 5 He who keeps his command will experience nothing harmful; And a wise man’s heart discerns both time and judgment,

For a wise heart knows the right time and judgement… Oh I can laugh and weep at so many times that I have missed the voice of God. Just because though I have missed opportunities in my past, even ones I majorly regret; does not mean I don’t learn from them. Each time I paused instead of jumped, moved instead of staying put, each disaster, each blessing, all teaches me what the voice of God is. I can look back and examine and see where He was guiding me. Even now I face this same situation in my life, not knowing what way to turn. Did I destroy an opportunity already? Did I not move when I needed to? Only time will tell if I have heard and paid attention to the Voice of God.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New King James Version)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

I can examine what I think, but when I lean only on my understanding, I am trying to interpret the feelings I have. I don’t want to shut them down, but I don’t want them to override everything either. By examining with logic and feeling, will I learn what to do in my decisions I face. But I must in all things check to see if my mind is focused on God. If I keep that focus on him, everything will fall into place. My heart will be guarded, my heart will be able to feel, and to allow it to trust as well. And I will have God’s guarantee that He will guide me in the decision I must make.

Psalm 37:3-7 (New King James Version)
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.
7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.

When I do trust in God, and allow Him to be my delight, then the desires of my heart will be presented in His due time. I have always mumbled about how others can find the job they need, the partner in life, or just a friend that is closer and a confidant. I mumble about how nothing seems to go right for me. I mumble and complain about how many disasters in my life I have caused. I lose the joy of the blessings I have been given. I speak the recurring disaster into my life by my words. I change my mindset and allow the panic, fear, indecision, insecurity, to overrun and rule my life. Thus going to hide and not allow anyone to see behind the mask that is front of me. I ask so many times, “God, I know I have lost so many blessings, but why can’t I even find one crumb from your table?” So if anything, this above is directed back at myself. In closing I bring us back to one particular Psalm, Psalms 42. And particularly Verse 11.

Psalm 42
1As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
2My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
3My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?
4When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
5Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
6O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.
7Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
8Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
9I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
10As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?
11Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Remember the song, "I'll Praise Him In The Storm".

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by ILG

I don't think God makes people be abused so He can teach them things.

Neither do I, but I have to find my answers in the scriptures.

Matthew 5:45 "...for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."

Acts 24:15 "And have hope toward God, which they themselves also allow, that there shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust."

II Corinthians 1:2-4 "Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

What do you feel you are rereading from FCF? What things do you feel people are speaking of over and over again? Has no one been abused since FCF so the subject never need be brought up again? As for me personally, healing is a journey and I never spoke of the things I was going through at the time on FCF (if you were referring to me). Back then I was wrangling through standards and what had happened in my first 10 years in the church WHILE I was living through the lawsuit and never breathing a word of it anywhere.

Let me first say that I understand the purpose of this forum:

1. People who have left the UPC and who want to vent.

2. People who want to discuss issues without being censored.

I am not against that. I think just by reading we draw our own conclusions, which could be right or they could be wrong. But, nonetheless, we draw them.

I'm more of a private person and wouldn't want to share details. We don't even do that in our own family. I love people, love to act serious and silly, but I don't share a lot of the deepest part of my heart and thoughts and I don't ask people personal questions. I am sure it's just me.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Me too! It's so Victorian. Did I spell it correctly?



Randy, I believe that an "apology" is a part of restitution. We are just not always going to get it.

I'm not going to go into any details here, but I know exactly what that is and feels like. I know what deep anger feels like and the fear that you can't let it go. I know what it feels like to go to God again and again because your mind is tied up in all sorts of knots and you want to get out from under the pain. You wish you were that dove that David spoke of - "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.."

Waiting for and expecting restitution is futile, you have to move on - you have to save yourself.

"Love bears all things." You don't get "love" unless you speak to the Master who does not change the unchangeable and obstinate of heart, but He can and does heal those that want change for themselves. He can and does fill our hearts with love so that we can love again.

I remember hearing a story about Abraham Lincoln that has stayed with me. Seems there was a person who despised Lincoln, and spoke poorly of him every chance he got, and was not discreet about his hatred for the President. A reporter once asked Lincoln what he thought about his attacker, and Lincoln began to extol the man's virtues, began to pay him compliments. The reporter stopped the President, and said, "But sir, don't you know how he feels about you???" To which Lincoln replied, "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to know what I thought about HIM, not what HE thought about me!"

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

I remember hearing a story about Abraham Lincoln that has stayed with me. Seems there was a person who despised Lincoln, and spoke poorly of him every chance he got, and was not discreet about his hatred for the President. A reporter once asked Lincoln what he thought about his attacker, and Lincoln began to extol the man's virtues, began to pay him compliments. The reporter stopped the President, and said, "But sir, don't you know how he feels about you???" To which Lincoln replied, "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to know what I thought about HIM, not what HE thought about me!"

I can see this happening in our day when someone asks Mitt Romney about PO!!!!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

I remember hearing a story about Abraham Lincoln that has stayed with me. Seems there was a person who despised Lincoln, and spoke poorly of him every chance he got, and was not discreet about his hatred for the President. A reporter once asked Lincoln what he thought about his attacker, and Lincoln began to extol the man's virtues, began to pay him compliments. The reporter stopped the President, and said, "But sir, don't you know how he feels about you???" To which Lincoln replied, "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to know what I thought about HIM, not what HE thought about me!"

I have heard that story and I always like hearing it again.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by CC1

I can see this happening in our day when someone asks Mitt Romney about PO!!!!

Touche' Si, Se Uno!

Politics is a dirty business, but it's less annoying than religion.