I have a lot of mixed emotions about this so forgive me if my post doesn't read smoothly.
Let me start off by saying, I joined UPC three years ago. Before that, I never had much of a religious background, I can count on my hand the number of times I went to church as a kid. For a brief period I dabbled in different philosophies(atheism, new age), until life hit me like a ton of bricks and I started to give Christianity a second thought.
I, like others before me, fell in love with the experience, baptized in water and spirit. Soon after I fell in line with the standards they require of members(well, some of them).
Fast forward to present. The excitement of new birth experience has started to wear off replaced with feelings of doubt, suffocation, feeling out of place.
Let me explain. Even when I was young, I've always disliked conformity. I've always valued independence, this partially originates from how I was raised. My father taught us to think for ourselves, be ourselves and never take what someone says at face value.
So you can already guess that going from a liberal, free thinking environment to an conservative, traditional environment my life kind of did a 180. I go to church and I feel like I'm back in high school. You know, the popular cliche who always walked, talked, dressed the same, act the same? *Sigh* Yeah.
A few months back my pastor preached that makeup is of the devil(yes, those were his exact words). Of course, me being me, next Sunday I wore some powder with mascara and conducted myself as I normally do.
In one lesson my bible study teacher said the movies theater and TV were not recommended. I asked my teacher if going to see Veggie Tales was ok. After a pause, he told me the previews might be inappropriate(I've never heard of R rated being shown in G rated movies!) and of course, he said, there may be an issue with "appearance and credibility".
. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist
Long story short: I'm starting to think 'this' particular church is really not my scene. I don't believe everything preached on the pulpit and I'm tired of acting as though I do. Many people are kind and god fearing, and I view my pastor with the up most regards. But overall, I slowly realizing that I don't see a future here.
Sorry for the long post, but really I gave you the gist of things without going into too much detail.
By the way,
Is there any biblical reference to certain churches having less power? I've heard this mentioned by saints and the first lady that churches which don't have the strict holiness standards have little or no power. Can someone explain?
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