Not sure where to go from this point...

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

If you were a pastor, would you feel the same way? Would you want someone walking out without giving you an opportunity to discuss? Because they thought it wouldnt' do any good?

And, even if you had already discussed, wouldn't you appreciate a goodbye?

I don't know. My husband and I pastored for 10 years. If you have read any of my story, you will know that I would consider someone leaving without talking to us to be pretty minor. I am only looking out for her. If she had not been listened to in the past, unless her conscience forbids it, I think she should not bother because it is an issue of her not being respected. And she doesn't need any more disrespect. However, if she has been respected in the past, she should talk to him because he would hopefully respect her now too.

[BeenThinkin]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I don't have any excuses either. My fingers work faster than my brain, but this new keyboard is not helping matters.

Ah, so that is what the problem is?....... JUST KIDDING!!!!


Been Thinkin

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

Ah, so that is what the problem is?....... JUST KIDDING!!!!


Been Thinkin

Sorry that I don't like your brand of Koolaid.

[Evang.Benincasa]

Originally Posted by Evenuntodeath

Evang. Benincasa:

Yes, a part of me feels as if I am being told rather than taught on certain issues. Which is why I brought up the cosmetics, tv. and movies. But another gripe of mine is there seems certain standards which we "just don't do" rather than give biblical reference as to why we shouldn't do them. That is my main issue.

For example cosmetics. In my church not once has anyone sited biblical basis for why women should not use makeup. All the biblical references that would imply makeup is not a good idea I learned from the internet. In my church, its more along the lines of "you just don't need them". The reason the first lady sited was, "makeup makes you look old" I mean really?! Surely they can come up with better reasons than this.

Now the movie theater. It was not my pastor who said this, it was a minister/bible study teacher. However, I know that anything taught by the ministers has to be ok'd by the pastor first. In the bible study, I did ask him why going to the movie theater was not ok. He gave me his reasons, one of them being "appearance and credibility". In other words, it just doesn't look good for a christian to be seen at the movies. After that, I closed my mouth and let him continue with the bible study. The bible says women are to listen quietly, right? At the time, I didn't want to get into a drawn out debate over scripture and disrupt the bible study, for one, its very unladylike and unchristian. But privately I must say I have an issue with that line of reasoning. The biblical scriptures I've read say things should be done from the heart and not for the purpose of appearing holy or righteous.

In their defense, let me just say this. Both my pastor and his wife were raised in UPC. My pastor is a 3rd generation and his wife is 2nd. Sometimes I get the feeling some of these standards taught have less to do with scripture and more to do with how they were taught by their parents, pastor as well as following the guidelines of UPCI. Sometimes we do things out of habit and routine without any good reason as to why we do them(which is why I'm seeing that these standards may be a little easier for pentes who were raised in church, rather than those who came from a different or non religious background).

Right, ok, I can sympathize with that. But do they realize that someone like myself who was not raised in church needs a little more than "that's just the way it is"??

Now, do I have an issue with all the standards of UPC? No. I dress modestly, and I was never much a jewelry wearer even before I was saved so that is not a personal issue for me. I try not to cut my hair(still working on that), and I try to embrace the place God has ordained for women in the church.

But there comes a point where I question whether we are really doing all this to be holy or simply trying to earn salvation. A part of me feels like " what more do you want from me"?

Sister thank you for the nice post.

Now, to stay with my original thoughts on this topic it really doesn't have much to do with cosmetics, movie theaters, or MKUltra...I mean...television

What I'm dealing with in this thread, is about church friends, brothers, sisters, church families, leaders who helped build the church family. People who you said you hold in high regards. If you never said this, I probably wouldn't of gave the thread much thought.

Sis, let's look at this quote....

"It was not my pastor who said this"

The pastor didn't know, but since we are a consumer minded nation we rarely want to go to speak to management, or call, or write the manufacturer, or restaurant owner.

Some people get bad service, or have a bad experience, and NEVER return.

While that may fly at Lambert's Cafe, it doesn't work for an experience that requires something a little more than getting offended about what is, and what's not on the ban list.

Sister, someone needs to be the bigger kid in the sandbox, and refrain from taking our bat and ball and leaving.

If the rest of the flock can't produce book, chapter, and verse, then the pastor should be able. But, at least give peace a chance, who cares about cosmetics, and television, if we can't be at higher level of love, and respect.

That's to be highly regarded.

If you leave then at least you took it to the brother, whom you held in high regard.

Because what is the use of having complaints about certain issues, and leave the other things undone.

[Evang.Benincasa]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

Two things spring to mind here:

1.) From EUD's first post, I didn't pick up on the fact that she had already had any face to face discussions with her pastor.

2.) Even if someone has had conversations prior that didn't turn out that good, they obviously made the decision to stay for the time being. So, in the event that they decide to leave, the courteous thing would be to go back in to the pastor, and not rehash the same old conversations, but let him know respectfully that you have made the decision to leave, and want to do so on the best terms possible.

I just can't visualize any scenario at all where it would be a good idea to just walk out without saying anything.

Just my opinion.

Good post my brother.

[BeenThinkin]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Sorry that I don't like your brand of Koolaid.

PO I think you're drinking something other than Koolaid! And would you look at that coffee cup! Rebellion, gone wild. He...brews? Nah!

Been Thinkin & Thinkin & Thinkin

[houston]

Did she get her cupcake while I was gone?

[Evang.Benincasa]

Originally Posted by houston

Did she get her cupcake while I was gone?

Sit Ubu sit.

[oposheilla]

@ Evenuntodeath
Whatever is preached in the pulpit must be prayerfully considered.

In everything we do, whether putting a make-up or talking to someone, we must always ask ourselves such questions:
- Would this glorify God?
- Is this the will of God?
- Will this help others?
- What's my purpose in doing this?
- To whom do I do this for?

I just hope that you would pray and ask our Lord God Jesus Christ for guidance in every decisions you will make.

[Evenuntodeath]

Originally Posted by oposheilla

@ Evenuntodeath
Whatever is preached in the pulpit must be prayerfully considered.

In everything we do, whether putting a make-up or talking to someone, we must always ask ourselves such questions:
- Would this glorify God?
- Is this the will of God?
- Will this help others?
- What's my purpose in doing this?
- To whom do I do this for?

I just hope that you would pray and ask our Lord God Jesus Christ for guidance in every decisions you will make.

Thank you! And welcome to AFF!