Quote:
Originally Posted by Truthseeker
I once saw a private survey of what they struggled with most with results seem to show like 80 to 90% confessed what they struggle with most was lust.
How many here have had the same struggle? If you overcame what did you do or not do?
This referring to sexual lust or wandering eyes.
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I think most honest men will admit that this is a struggle at some point in their walk with Christ.
I read a book titled God's Gift of Sex. In the book the author talks about the difference between "lust" and "fantasy". The author goes on to say that "fantasy" is perfectly normal and can be very healthy. Fantasies are distinguished from lust in that the one with the fantasy would NEVER act on the fantasy in real life. However, "lust" is the actual desire to act on an impulse to fulfill said desire.
For example...
A person fantasizes about a person they adore, a movie star, the one they are about to marry, or a given scenereo... but would be absolutely humiliated if the fantasy was discovered. They'd never act on it. They know such action would destroy their witness or family. It's just a fantasy.
But... let's say a person is at an office party and sees a coworker that they are attracted to. They have great conversation and the first person begins to imagine using them to gratify their desires. So the first person begins to cultivate a friendship with the intent to eventually seduce. This is "lust". They've committed adultery in their heart though they have yet to seduce the other party.
Jesus said,
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Notice Jesus says, "Whosoever looketh upon a woman TO LUST AFTER HER..." Notice that there is a purpose and intent in the gaze. This is more than admiration of her beauty, attraction, curiosity, interest, love, or fantasy. This is a man looking upon a woman with the very purpose of fulfilling his desire with her. The one looking has determined that he will seduce her at the soonest opportunity. Although he hasn't yet done the deed... he has commited adultery in his heart.
This position can bring clarity to a very troubling and confusing subject. I mean... who would tell a young couple who are engaged that desire for or fantasy about their soon to be husband or wife was unholy? Who would ridicule a young person who is just discovering their sexuality that a fantasy about a model or celebrity was abnormal or unhealthy? Who would judge a person whose spouse has a long term illness, is incarcerated, on military deployment, or has a significantly lower libido, that their own needs, fantasy, or interests are sinful if they'd NEVER truly act on said things?
I don't believe that God intended for Christians to be asexual beings. I do believe that God intends married people to focus their sexual interests upon their mate and their mate's sexual needs and interests. Yet there are complexities that come from living in a fallen and broken world where relationships, health, etc. are not always what they were intended to be. Therefore I'd offer much grace, understanding, and patience with regards to a person's sexuality. Often a repressed sexuality can lead to more serious psychological and emotional conditions. Therefore, I believe that there must be a healthy and natural manner of sexual expression for both singles and marrieds with relation to their specific needs and circumstances. Without this, the perfectly healthy and normal Christian (male or female) may find themselves walking under undo guilt and condemnation. Weapons used by the enemy to separate believers from their faith. What a shame it is that so many Christians have walked away from the faith under a sense of unnecessary condemnation when in fact their sexuality was quite normal and healthy.
When the intent of the heart is considered, a much needed balance is brought to this topic and a healthy sexuality can be cultivated leaving our sexuality redeemed.
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