Need godly advice please

[ctclady11]

Okay, so we have this neighbor downstairs who has 2 young daughters living with her; she's a single parent. I think she has a thing for my husband. And I think she might be jealous of me. She is very friendly towards us, we have helped her with little things here and there because the Lord puts it on our hearts. One problem though... About 2 mos ago or so I asked her that if she needed anything to please ask me and not my husband. She respected that for a little while. (I told her to call ME and NOT him) She had our phone #'s from before when she didn't have a phone we would let her use ours (we each have a cell phone, but mine is an out-of state area code) She kept his number but didn't keep mine. (she claims she had it saved under "neighbors") Now she has a house phone and a prepaid cell phone which is a good thing. But she never has enough minutes on her cell phone to call me and she doesn't have long distance on her home phone. Anyways back in January I let my husband take her to get some medication because I was sooo tired I didn't want to get up early. (I should have just gotten my lazy but up and went with them) Ever since then she slowly started asking him for favors again or needed items, and would give him food for us from food-box places from time to time when we needed it. (which is good) And then she would start calling him again so I blocked her phone #'s from calling his phone. (yes, he knew about it) Thing is, she is right downstairs from us when she calls his phone and could easily walk up the stairs herself to ask for something or tell us something. She came upstairs and asked us for a favor last night but only because she could not get a hold of us or him on his phone. I don't suspect him cheating on me at all because he is saved and he's italian and italians are very loyal. (plus he can't stand her even though he's nice to her) I unblocked her phone #'s from his phone yesterday 'cuz she needed to call me back to tell me something. I feel like my husband is being too non-chalant about the situation and I don't understand why he won't just tell her not to call on his phone anymore when she could walk up here! I mean, he wouldn't like it if another guy called me asking me for stuff and watching or listening for me to come down the steps so he could converse with me in private. I really feel like she doesn't care about what I say or think sometimes and I don't trust her. What do I do? What should I say to her? I truly want her to be saved and have love for her, I just don't like how she treats and talks to her kids. Oh, this may be important for you to know too: The first or second time we both talked to her outside she said we both seemed very content in our relationship.

[AreYouReady?]

Some women love to play the helpless/victim role with other people.

Anybody that meddles in a marriage should be completely dropped...especially those who bypass the wife and consistently goes straight to the husband in order to gain something.

[CC1]

The bottom line is that you and your husband need to be on exactly the same page in dealing with this situation. That is the very first step.

Once you have sat down and had a comprehensive discussion about it you need to come up with a plan on how to move forward that BOTH of you are on board with.

For starters it needs to be your husband, not you alone, telling her to call you not him, etc. This lady may be totally innocent in what she is doing but then again she may be attracted to your husband because she sees a man who is a stable person in a successful family, something she doesn't have.

I am not saying what I am about to say to cause any doubt in your mind but I almost fell off my chair laughing when you said that your husband would never cheat because he is Italian and they are loyal. I love Italy and Italian food and Italian men there are known for having both wife and mistresses big time. That has no bearing on an American of Italian descent who is a born again christian but I just thought it was funny you said what you did because it was contrary to everything else I have ever read about Italian men.

[AreYouReady?]

Even Italian men can be tempted. Just saying....

[Cindy]

I agree totally with CC1. And your husband should never be around this lady unless you are present.

[KeptByTheWord]

All of the above excellent advice.

[ctclady11]

Thankyou all for your spiritual advice... love you all!

[CC1]

ctclady11,

Praying for you and your husband and this lady that needs the Lord!

[Wang Mo Shi]

Originally Posted by ctclady11

Thankyou all for your spiritual advice... love you all!

Your marriage comes first, you and your husband need to be on the same page; he needs to wake up and smell the coffee-he needs to have all request come through you ONLY.

We have a real enemy, if she can't respect you and your family-She will need to find some else to help her. God is is big God, you are not the only avenue to her salvation, do not be deceived.

My wife is always mentoring a few women; as a husband; I keep my distance, and usually don't even give any of them a hug. Many of these single women are lonely, and I must cherise my relationship with my wife, and her only.

I NEVER allow myself to talk to or be alone with any of her friends. They do not have my phone number.

[Evenuntodeath]

I understand your concern. She should call your number, especially if thats what you requested. Its doesnt take being saved to understand boundaries and respecting a marriage.. Just remind her again she will need to call your number. If she doesnt comply, then cut her off. Dont answer her phone calls, no more favors, nothing. I know you care about this soul, but your marriage is top priority.

I would also have a talk with your husband to make sure your on the same page.

Whatever you do, please dont become one of those women who thinks every woman is after your husband. One thing i hated about pentecost was how every single woman was regarded with suspicion, whether she led a holy life or not. Just because shes not married dont assume she wants your man.