Advice: The Single Christian

[AreYouReady?]

You are explaining yourself Aquila.

I understand everything what all you guys are saying in your delicate, but "cryptic" posts because of what my husband has explained to me about his time of being a single God-fearing, Christ loving Christian man..

Expect a PM from him tonight.

[Aquila]

I had read a book about these kinds of things. I think it was titled, Sex for Christians. In the book the author defined lust as a "desire of intent" (or something similar). However, fantasies, dreams, etc. are not desires of intent and they come and go. Therefore we shouldn't classify them as lust. He admonished that we not condemn ourselves with regards to those sorts of things. He did say that too look at someone and actually engage them in conversation or what have you with "intent" is lust, and that we've sinned the moment we began smiling at them. Or if fantasy turns to desire of intent we've already sinned. Now for me, that was a bit challenging. But it is one opinion on the matter.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

You are explaining yourself Aquila.

I understand everything what all you guys are saying in your delicate, but "cryptic" posts because of what my husband has explained to me about his time of being a single God-fearing, Christ loving Christian man..

Expect a PM from him tonight.

You are so awesome Sis. AYR,

Thank you so much. God bless you.

[houston]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

There's a lot to this statement, I believe.

It's in a women's nature to be nuturing and care for others. If I didn't have my children and grandchildren to dote over, I'm sure that I would be much more lonely.

The 3% of time when I feel alone is usually when I just need someone to lean my head into and feel safe and cared for.

You need a hug.

[Aquila]

Would some of you guys PLEASE pray for me. Because this could cause some serious ripples in my relationship with my lady friend. I don't want to hurt her feelings. But I think just dragging things out as I become more and more unhappy isn't the answer. I feel like such an idiot. But I have to talk about this to somebody. And I'd appreciate much prayer.

I'm thinking that IF I'm meant to marry... I don't want to marry someone who spooks me when I consider marrying them. I imagine that I'd feel at peace with the idea, excited, and anticipating. But right now... I'm feeling like I'm sinking into goo when I think about the possibility of ever marrying.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Aquila

Would some of you guys PLEASE pray for me. Because this could cause some serious ripples in my relationship with my lady friend. I don't want to hurt her feelings. But I think just dragging things out as I become more and more unhappy isn't the answer. I feel like such an idiot. But I have to talk about this to somebody. And I'd appreciate much prayer.

Will be praying for you, Aquila.

And if you do leave the relationship I hope it is for the right reason.

[Aquila]

Sorry if I'm being too frank or open guys. It's a serious issue rolling around in my heart and I have to get it out in the open. In addition... I know that other Christian singles are in similar situations or have similar concerns with their singleness.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Will be praying for you, Aquila.

And if you do leave the relationship I hope it is for the right reason.

Thank you. I want it to be for the right reason too. I think I'm just not ready. And... I think I need to draw closer to Christ before I'll ever be ready... if ever.

The idea of going to church, serving, and fellowshipping... then going home to a quiet house (or just home with my little boy) sounds like Heaven. It calms me just thinking about it.

And don't get me wrong... I feel like a heel... a jerk... etc. But I think she's also wondering what's going on since I've been so hesitant about talking about the deeper things of marriage and dates, etc.

I was on a kick about government free marriage because the idea "seemed" to remedy some of my fears. But then sitting back, praying, and thinking about things left me feeling like... that's only half the issue I face. Sure, I'm afraid of marriage. I don't want another failed one. And I don't trust the system. However, even if I moved to a Quaker community and got a government free marriage... the constant insanity of married home life would drive me crazy. I'd want to just retreat to the attic or the study and read my Bible, write, or go to art galleries, museums, etc.

I married right after high school. I've never really been single, accept for the short period of total limbo I experienced when my marriage fell apart. I bounced back really fast. Maybe too fast.

But I know I don't want to marry just to have sex. If I don't feel pace and joy at the idea of "married life" and all the crazy drama that comes with it... I think I'm not ready.

[rgcraig]

Aquila, go with your gut and face the feelings you are having.

If she's talking marriage and you aren't feeling it, you need to be upfront with her. And soon.

Holding on to this relationship that isn't right for you could be hindering you from finding the right person.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Aquila

Sorry if I'm being too frank or open guys. It's a serious issue rolling around in my heart and I have to get it out in the open. In addition... I know that other Christian singles are in similar situations or have similar concerns with their singleness.

It is a part of life to be tempted. And I don't think you have crossed any decency lines yet. Just be careful, if we think you have, we will tell you and edit. Okay?

Do Paul's writings help you at all?